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[personal profile] susandennis
A year ago - almost exactly - I found out via a lovely little pneumonia that 40 years of smoking is indeed, hazardous to your health.  My lungs tested out at about half what they should have for my size and age.  It took me about 3 months to quit coughing and feel good again.

As if to celebrate the anniversary, the cough has now returned.  It's not horrible itself but the threat it poses is pretty nasty.  I don't have lungs enough to fight off much of anything infection wise.  I'm not wild about being sick but I am terrified of ending up chained to an oxygen tank and dependent on all the medical services that go along with that.

So now with every cough I stress - is it worse? than it was last hour/yesterday?  Should I go get some exercise or stay in an drink tea?  Am I turning into a hypochondriac?  If I just ignore it all, will it morph into those nights like last year when I lay awake all night gasping for air and/or into a straight shot to that oxygen tank?

Already, I hate the focus and worry that I'm doing now over it all.

Fortunately I don't have the added - to the doctor or not - stress.  I already have an appointment next Monday morning - a general checkup and I'm assuming I'll live until Monday.  
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