Crabby for no good reason

Very inconsequential stuff did not happen like I planned and it has me off kilter and that's pissing me off. Plus other stuff. Like the eye doctor. I really do not enjoy the eye doctor. Look here, follow this, here comes drops that sting, here comes a bright light, here comes drops that will impair your eye sight for hours. At least I didn't have to have any of the eye glasses part. That would have sent me over the edge. I really hate that.

On the up side, the tiny 'age spots' that portend macular degeneration are as tiny as they were three years ago. No sign of any issues with anything. See you next year. Maybe. Maybe, I'll stretch it to 18 months. At least it doesn't cost me anything.

I also remembered to go to the ATM before it got hot.

I finished transferring all my patterns last night and so can get rid of that giant pattern roll holder and get the sewing room back tidy today.

My new kitchen rug comes today. I have nothing for lunch but I'm NOT going outside. Maybe there's a can of tuna in the cupboard somewhere.

What I really need to do is fix this attitude.

It's ok to do nothing

The other day, lifeinroseland asked me if I ever spent a day doing nothing - eating, napping, going to the bathroom and maybe binge watching - but really doing nothing.

Sometimes the most innocent question really resonates with me and this one is still reverberating.

I not only spent my life being productive - at work, at home - but taking great pride in just that. I've always felt almost defined by what I produced. When I retired, I turned that hose on other things. Sewing, knitting, swimming. I often feel lazy. Give me a remote, do not make me get up and do something, but, in truth, I really am not.

I've never been one to sleep in. Closest I come is maybe sleeping til 6 on weekends. I get up and go swim and then my day starts. So doing nothing gets short circuited right there.

This morning I went swimming and then went to the eye doctor and then came home and did not feel like doing anything. Nothing. So... I didn't. It was a funky realization that I didn't have to do anything if I didn't want to. I could fuck off all morning or all day if I waned so I did. I interneted some and just sat some and finally got back into bed and slept.

It's now 1:30 and the baseball game starts at 5 and I may go sew something. Or just organize the sewing room or maybe just piddle around some and then watch some TV.

I've never before appreciated the value of wasting time. I think it's what retired people are supposed to do and I just didn't get the memo. I got it now. I probably won't do it much but baby steps.