Myrna

[susandennis]

Last night I dreamed that Myrna died. She's 92. It's not a stretch.

This morning, I was sitting here watch TV and knitting and the phone rang and it was Myrna (who never calls). "Can you come sit with me for 5 minutes."

Fuck.

I hustled on down to her apartment. She had gone to worship (here) and on the way into brunch after, her legs felt weird so she came home and sat down and called me. She asked me to make her some toast and we chatted and she said she was feeling better. Then I went to open the door for some fresh air and couldn't get it open so she got up and opened it and said her legs were fine.

Then she kicked me out with a promise of calling. I told her I'd be here all day. I told her "I didn't even put on a bra this morning so I can't leave this hallway." She had had the presence of mind to get out her cellphone and turn it on so she had that and she has her current book and soup for lunch.

I came home. And thought about it. Had she been in real distress, I did not have a plan and need one. I am not a nurturer. I am not someone you go to in a crisis. I need to think about what I will do when she calls and she's conscience or calls and then passes out. The steps are obvious as I think about them now but I need to make sure they are as obvious when the shit and the fan are in operation.

I am glad that she called and actually kind of flattered that she called me.

But, most of all, I'm glad her weird feeling is gone and I hope it stays gone.

Comments

[bill_schubert]

That was the thing we did a lot of in the Navy. We would spend an enormous amount of time thinking through negative events and how we would react to them. What you're doing is something I wish everybody would spend more time doing. It makes life so much easier when something bad does happen if you've already worked through it in your brain. Good job.

[susandennis]

Thanks. Glad to hear it's not just me over reacting.

[siglinde999]

Not overreacting at all. Like Bill, it was a big part of my work as well, and 90% of first aid and lifeguard training. It would hurt to do some drills or even write down key questions and information so that you’re prepared. People often laugh at rescue training about the requirement to play-act the emergency, but it really does help.

[meowmensteen]

"I am not a nurturer" I bet that's one of the reasons she likes you as a friend she can call on. You're there for her when she needs it, but can also bugger off when the crisis is over. If she'd called a nurturer, they'd probably dote over her and not leave her alone after the fact.

[adafrog]

What a horrible dream.

[spiffikins]

If there is one thing that I got out of hearing about my friend Lisa's cardiac event and how things shook out - the person who is *having* the event, gets to a point where they are no longer able to make good decisions about what needs to be done.

Lisa was a nurse - and she was having a massive cardiac event - but was INSISTING that she could drive herself to the local clinic. Her neighbour said that sounds like a bad idea - "ok fine, you can drive me".

Her neighbour brought up "I want to call 911" - "no, no, I don't need the hospital, I'm fine"

Right until she collapsed and couldn't get up again, she was fighting the idea of calling for help.

So - it might be worthwhile to talk to Myrna before there is an issue, and maybe come up with a plan on "when to call for help" ahead of time? For both of you!

If there is an issue - are you supposed to call 911 directly? or is there an internal help process where you call someone in the building and THEY call 911? Or if you call 911, are you then supposed to call someone and let them know you called for help, so they can direct the EMTs?

[mollywheezy]

It is definitely good to have a plan in place before it is needed. At one point in time, I was the emergency contact for nine people (which is insane, I don't recommend that) but I knew what to do and people knew I would follow the plan we had in place. Myrna is lucky to have you.