Here's a wrinkle no one saw coming

[susandennis]

1st the fine news. Myrna finally got the spinal injection and apparently they built it up so much that "it was really no big deal". She had just gotten back to her room when her son showed up.

Yesterday, when I used her credit card (which she asked me to do) to pay for parking, it was declined. So we called Bank of America and it was a whole thing because they have to call her on a phone connected to the account for verification and that phone is at Timber Ridge. I did convince them to cancel the card.

When I got home last night, I signed onto her Bank of America card and was able to identify several charges that she did not make and mark them as fraudulent. She told me that her Morgan Stanley team paid the bill for that card. So this morning I called them while she was getting her shot. And that turned out to be one of my worst ideas. The head guy lost his shit and yelled at me that he would not give me any information. I told him I did not want to receive any information, I just wanted to let him know. He said they did not pay the bill and pretty much accused me of fraud. I said 'I'm so sorry to have bothered you.' And we parted.

He called her son.

So her son showed up. I left the room so they could visit. Apparently the visit was for him to grill her about this woman who had inculcated herself into Myrna's life and was probably stealing her blind. I told him everything and answered every one of his questions and told him that I was not stealing anything. I was only doing what she asked, but that I would bow right the fuck out and let him take over. "I'm tired anyway." I made a couple of suggestions (he follow up with the social worker about tomorrow and change the Emergency Contact info that the hospital had). He did not even seem to register either of these suggestions so I split. I never got a chance to talk to Myrna alone. I told her I was sorry I had to leave and I hoped to visit her when she got settled in rehab. She didn't look happy but it could have been the pain or it could have been that she believes I am stealing her blind or she's not happy with her son. I don't know and it's not my issue any more. I came home.

I think she'll be fine really. She's got pain from her hemorrhoid but otherwise is in much better shape than she was this time last week. The hospital and rehab center will take care of her. She'll be lonely and that's sad. But, she really doesn't need need need me like she did. And I'm very happy to be home.

I don't know what will happen but it's really no longer up to me. And I can let go, no sweat.

Comments

[wpadmirer]

ARGH. All you've done is help her. What a massive pain in the ass for you. I'm sure she has nothing to do with the accusations, but unfortunately you are not in a position to do anything. It sucks.

[desdemonaspace]

Jesus. This is the very definition of "No good deed goes unpunished."

[dadi]

That does leave a bit of a bitter taste. With everything you have done...ugh.

[days_unfolding]

Jeez. After all the help that you gave her..,.I hope that she straightens things out with him.

[maju]

I'm so sorry. What a kick in the teeth after all you've done.

[beed]

oh jeez, of course this had to be thrown back in your face. this would have to be the most ass-backward way to take all of myrna's stuff lmao. anyhoo, if there's one good thing to come of this, it's that you get to completely rid your hands of it and not have to be at beck and call.

[vysila]

What a nightmare cluster! So sorry this is your reward for being so kind. I hope that your friendship with Myrna can be salvaged once this all gets straightened out.

[msconduct]

WOW.

[siglinde999]

First off, it makes me a little crazy how all verification systems are built around the assumption that folks have ready access to a smart phone, or at least a cell phone. I run into this regularly with my parents, and one of my friends says it is also a problem for him because he only has an old-fashioned tower and a dumb cell phone.

Second, it’s a good thing the checks are in place to keep Myrna’s money safe, and she can be thankful her son is worried, even if he is a jerk about it to you.

But it’s still shitty that he was apparently more worried about her money than about her ongoing care. At least her brother seems sensible and you will get a little rest. Hopefully things can be sorted and she won’t be too lonely while she recovers.

[mollywheezy]

I run into the same issue with my mom! She does not have a cell phone or a computer because she can't use one. (She is actually here with me on the other end of the couch watching TV and just said, "What is that thing there?" I was confused and she pointed at my laptop. Yeah, my mom gives new meaning to computer illiterate, lol.) When my dad died, we had my husband, my mom, and me all on a conference call with the guy at the bank in MO trying to close my dad's business account, which had like $5 in it, but they couldn't do it because we didn't have the pin number. I guarantee pin numbers for smart phone access to accounts did not exist when my dad started the account. It took two hours and three managers, but we finally managed it. MY husband is really good at dealing with stuff like that.

[siglinde999]

My parents at least have computers that they have mostly mastered. I do spend a lot of time trying to convince my mom to delete unwanted junk and reminding my dad how to find the two files he needs, though.

It’s astonishing to me how quickly younger programmers have moved to systems that are completely unuseable by people not much older than me. I understand the need for enhanced security measures, but they need to be available to their clients.

[lenine]

Your posts are very important in my day. I lived through The Smalls's illness with you, through Biggie's illnesses and his fall (which still upsets me to think about), your experiences in your new home, and your adventures with Myrna. Your accounts of the past three weeks made me think of the times my husband was hospitalized, then my mother when she was declining. You took on the responsibility of Myrna's caregiver without hesitation. It was a huge responsibility, but you did it. I have nothing but admiration for you.

[mollywheezy]

I'm so sorry that Myrna's son was so mean to you! What a jerk! I am smacking the little turd in my mind . . .

[zoefruitcake]

A very similar thing happened to my stepfather who used to help a frail old lady with anything she needed. You have to walk away and hope it gets resolved. Let no good deed go unpunished eh?