Erasing some of the dis in disfunctional

[susandennis]

My relationship with my brother and sister (there are only the three of us) is disfunctional on a good day and non existant on the others. We mainly avoid each other. My brother and I have kind of struck a 'help Mom' middle ground in the past few years but my sister and I... Not going to happen.

If we all live to our 90's we will die with a serious case of unresolved sibling rivalry. It's stupid but that's what makes us loveable...

Anyway. Mom's 80th birthday is Feb 1. She was loud and clear and early on her desires to skip a party and her threat to disenherit if any surprise anything was involved. So when I was there at Thanksgiving, I proposed a small dinner party at her very favorite restaurant. It's a very fancy place and not too easy to get to. So I told her we'd get her a limo and she could take her friends. She thought this was a good plan.

So, I got all of the details settled and then asked my brother if he wanted in (he did) and if he wanted to ask my sister (he did). I finally got confirmation and not too ungraciously either from my sister today. I haven't seen the $$ yet, but as I am the executor of Mom's will, I'll get it eventually.

Anyway, I am glad that we can tell Mom it's from the 3 of us. This will likely be the last thing we ever have to voluntarily do together, thankgod.

Comments

[waning-estrogen.livejournal.com]

Ha. I am there with you. I love my brother because he is all my remaining family and we have a shared history. I hate my brother because he is an alcoholic deadbeat. He came to my house about 7 or 8 years ago, trying to avoid a woman he had been living with. Stayed about 3 nights and then said he was going to maybe go to Arizona or something like that. About a month later, I read in the newspaper that he was busted and in jail for possession of cocaine just immediately after he had stayed in my house, with my 8-year-old son and 10-year-old daughter.
I so wish things had turned out differently for us. We used to have good times together, and I really do have many fond memories, but I don't need that element of surprise in a relationship, family or not.

[susandennis]

Yikes! My brother is only an idiot and my sister is only self center... so far no felonies. My earliest memories of a sibling was asking my Mother in the kitchen on day how come Kathy got to be an only child and I had to have a stupid sister (this was before brother). And those were the happy times.

[joyofmacs.livejournal.com]

I enJOYed reading what the both of you had to say regarding siblings. Makes me realize that most of us have various issues with siblings.

I just fired off an angry rant regarding something that happened LAST CHRISTMAS for crying out loud.

Families....

Oh Boy!

[spiritgirl.livejournal.com]

My nine year-old daughter and seven year-old son are constantly at each other. They will compete over anything. I keep threatening that maybe Jim and I should get a divorce so we could split up the kids and maybe they would be happier. They both adamently decline the offer (thank goodness!)....but that doesn't make them get along any better. I don't remember having major love for my two sisters, but I wasn't out to compete, and generally try to constantly one-up them either. Ashley fights with her mouth calling Matthew everything obnoxious she can think of just shy of cussing, which infuriates Mattew so bad he strikes out physically. I get so tired of it. Thanks for boosting my confidence that they might out grow it....and least they won't have to live together. I keep telling Ashley to do the countdown....only 9 more years to go and she can be out of here!

Re: Oh Boy!

[waning-estrogen.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm lucky on that front. Same thing, with the girl older and 2 years apart. They get along so amazingly well. They have the same friends and go out together in groups. I attribute that to them both being in band and thus having the same group of friends since 5th grade. I just can't say enough about the importance of music and arts education being available in public schools. This isn't to say they don't get ticked at each other occasionally, but overall they get along remarkably and (dare I say it?) the three of us get on swimmingly for the most part.