Saving Private Rayon

[susandennis]

It always tickles me when marketeers miss their mark by soooo much. Email with offers to make my hard for my woman do not count. But printed catalogs in the snail mail REALLY do. those suckers are expensive!

I do not wear underwear. In my thin years I was too flat to worry about bras. When I got fat, my boobs grew big enough to make my first cleavage but because that's only been a few years now, they haven't had time to sag yet. They don't flop around and a bra really does nothing but escalate the clothing allowance, add to the laundry pile and chafe.

I wear sweat pants every day. A clean pair every day. Underpants - panties, if you will - only escalate the clothing allowance, add to the laundry pile and chafe.

Every once in a while when it's really really really cold, I'll wear socks. They don't chafe but they do create their own little 'where in the fuck is the other one????' laundry issue. They aren't worth the trouble, honestly.

So then, today, out of the blue, I got three underwear catalogs. Not underwear for fat old ladies, mind you... but, rather, sexy underwear for tinettes who are clearly looking to show it off before someone rips it off in the heat of passion.

Oh, I guess that's another reason why I don't wear underwear. At my age, you really can't stand to lose any time between the first strike of passion and any hope of actual action.

Ok, this is all probably major TMI and I should have warned you. Sorry. You want some underwear catalogs?

Comments

[pisceandreamer.livejournal.com]

At my age, you really can't stand to lose any time between the first strike of passion and any hope of actual action.

OMG, that is too funny.

[susandennis]

yeah, you just wait and see how funny it is then!

[pisceandreamer.livejournal.com]

It's funny cause I don't believe it for a second!

that subject line ...

[henare.livejournal.com]

... is the best thing i've read all day!

Re: that subject line ...

[susandennis]

Thanks, I was kind of proud of that one myownself.

[kyrielle]

*gigglefits*

[susandennis]

:)

[davmoo.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, for me at least, underwear free is not an option. First, and most important, something(s) hurt if they are not properly supported. And second, I wear sweats a lot too...and when a man wears sweats with no underwear, let's just say its real easy to figure out if he's thinking about sex (and if he doesn't have this problem, then he's got a size issue).

[susandennis]

so maybe i'll just send you these fuck me underwear catalogs!

[sea-weed.livejournal.com]

I've always wanted to be one of those women who don't need to wear a bra! I'm jealous. And not really major TMI - just plain hysterical. :-)

[susandennis]

As you can imagine, I spent a lot of my younger days wishing for boobs. But I really got over it by my 30s. And when I think of all the money I've saved not buying bras... And all the time I've saved not pushing bra straps back under my clothes... etc. I'm grateful. Really.

[geordie.livejournal.com]

Ah, just one of those fun little facts, you are *always* ready for action. Probably makes no difference to me, but just nice to know you think ahead :D

[susandennis]

That's me! Read-ee!

[treebreeze.livejournal.com]

Flippin' hilarious!