My Picadilly weekend...

[susandennis]

And these travel thoughts have now brought me to remembering probably my most memorable trip ever. The time I went to London for the weekend to get an abortion because they weren't legal here yet.

I was a kid alone on a very adult mission. My parents bought my ticket and paid for the procedure and even offered to send Mom with me but I felt way too guilty about how supportive they were being to bring on any more shame.

So off I went. They had made arrangements through the ob/gyn in New York for me to go to a clinic in London - near Picadilly Circus - that was set up specifically to cater to American women. The birth control pill was available but not easy to get (if you were not married) and Roe v. Wade was close to opening up our world but not there yet. So there was a fair amount of American abortion traffic.

My memory has actually lost many of the details but somehow I got hooked up with a girl my own age who's procedure was scheduled for the same time as mine. We had rather much of a very odd adventure out of the whole thing. We saw some sights. We got lost and figure out how to find ourselves again. We walked all over London and had a really nice weekend.

I remember it was night and we were starving and neither of us had a whole lot of cash but also neither of us could figure out what cash we had - the whole pound to dollar thing was lost on us. We walked by places with menus but had no way to understand it that delicious sounding dish would cost a month's rent. Finally we noodled that Chinese food was always cheap so we rooted out a Chinese restaurant, matched the numbers on the outside menu with the cash in our purses and dove in. It was really a wonderful meal. I still have no clue how much it cost.

I got home late at night. My brother and sister were there but asleep and had no clue what I had been up to. I went into my parents' room and they welcomed me home and invited to me sit on their bed and tell them about the trip. They were so kind and cool and nice about it all. To this day, I'm astounded at how supportive they were.

And I remember my Dad, after I had told them all about everything, saying how glad he was that I had managed to make such a fun adventure out of such a thing. He said "But, now you're like the preacher who gets a hole in one on Sunday morning." And, indeed, it was years and years before I ever told anyone. I'm pretty sure my brother and sister still don't know.

What a different time it was... And, for sure, at least here, Chinese food ain't cheap!

Comments

Wow.

[fj.livejournal.com]

Where was the father?

How were the days when your period did not happen?

Re: Wow.

[susandennis]

You always have the most interesting questions...

The father was a guy in school. Best I can recall, I did not tell him. I'm sure he would have been terrified and was just as happy not to know.

In those days, of course, there were no home pregnancy tests. Legitimate doctors would not even do a pregnancy test on an unmarried woman who thought she was pregnant unless you had missed two periods. So It was a long time to wait for confirmation that I was as stupid as I had guessed I might have been. But, that was not as bad as telling my parents about it. I was also too stupid to figure out any other alternative.

But, that stupid was probably the smartest in the end. If I could have come up with the money on my own, I'm pretty sure I would have had an illegal abortion in the US and that's not such a pretty picture to think about.

All in all - not my finest hour...

Indomitable Spirit

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

What an amazing tale! Thank you for sharing your experience. My eyes filled with tears when I read about your parents' emotional support. How very lucky you were and how special they were to act intelligently and lovingly. It's always come across to me how strong a person you .. this is just further evidence of that ...

HUGS!

Re: Indomitable Spirit

[susandennis]

Oh yeah. I totally won the parent lottery. I got very very lucky there.

Re: Indomitable Spirit

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

That was intended as a compliment ... "How strong you are ..."

I need to proof better when I'm this tired.

HUGS!

Re: Indomitable Spirit

[susandennis]

oh I absolutely got the compliment. thank you... i am proud that i have made the best out of getting the good parents :)

[roadskoller.livejournal.com]

I love this post.
When I was young, I remember my mom needed a note from my father saying it was okay for her to get the pill.
Times are so different.

[susandennis]

Yep. It's so hard to believe today but that's the way things were in the 'good old days'. Thankgod we're done with those!

[susandennis]

You are right about Roe v. Wade being in peril but at least now we have available birth control and the stigma of being an unwed mother has been eradicated.

What a wild theory about Chinese food! may be...!

[geordie.livejournal.com]

When I arrived here, one of the real surprises/shocks to me about the US was that birth control wasn't freely, easily and readily available to women who wanted it. In the UK, where the age of consent is 16, you'd often see schoolgirls trooping in to the chemist to pick up their pills. At least where I lived. One of the lads in my class was the son of a doctor, he was talking about how chagrined his sister was when her mother got one of her colleagues to put her on the pill at 14. So to find that here people were taking risks because they found the cost prohibitive seemed incredible. Accidents still happen, but not because they couldn't be prevented for want of a few pounds.

[susandennis]

In the 60's we used to laugh at the term 'free love' - it was only free for the guys. We paid through the nose, one way or another.

I have no idea what birth controls costs these days but at least the condom is a lot ubiquitous than it was back in the day.

Amazing

[babsbuni.livejournal.com]

First, I find it amazing that you shared this story. I enjoy reading about people's pasts, so thanks.

Second, how amazing were your parents?!! This was the 60's you said? You mentioned Roe v Wade had not been decided and that started 1970? So for your parents to be so supportive at that time is incredible.

Do you ever regret the decision you made?

Third, I'm glad you were able to make a tough situation into a good trip.

You seem like a fascinating person...

Re: Amazing

[susandennis]

Thank you... and yes, this was the 60's. There was little more shameful than unwed motherhood. Hard to believe in these days.

I never once, for a tiny second, regretted my decision. I only am so very grateful that I was given the opportunity to make it. Many girls did not.

[dragonvpm.livejournal.com]

Wow. I don't have much to add beyond thank you so much for sharing. It was a fascinating read.

[steve98052.livejournal.com]

That's a fascinating story. It's horrifying that there is still a large minority that wants to turn the US into Ceauşescu-era Romania – or maybe something more like the Republic of Gilead. At least you had the means available to get a safe abortion. It's awful that there are so many people who wish for the era when people lacking means are forced to choose between unsafe-and-illegal and unwanted reproduction.