The clueless - A rant

[susandennis]

Why is it that people think I want to be included in their list of people to whom they mail stuff? I'm not talking about spammers here, I'm talking about real people. Unless I've specifically said 'please add me to your list' I do not ever expect to get any email from you unless it is address to only me. If you think I want to be on your list, why don't you ask me first?

Today I got two pieces of email from people I know. I actually don't know either of them very well and we're not constant corresponders by any stretch of the imagination.

Person A sent me this stupid questionaire that he thought was interesting. He does this - sends me crap - about once every couple of weeks. Finally today I sent him a note asking him as nicely as I could to just please leave me off the list. I got a whiney note back from him saying that he never shares email like that very often and he just thought I'd like it. I don't and if you'd followed the model of Person B, you would have saved us both some time and frustration.

Person B sent me a note saying that from time to time he comes across fun stuff and likes to share it and would I mind if he added me to his sharing list. I wrote back saying that I very much appreciated his asking first and thinking of me but no thank you.

Now... how come there are, according to my scientific count, a scillion people like Person A and one like Person B? And you know what? I do think that any email I receive that I did not request that is sent to me and, at the same time, to others I do not know... IS spam.

Thank you for your time. I now return you to your regular programming.

Comments

[kyrielle]

In the single worst example of this I've ever encountered, I got the message three days after it was sent.

The person had sent it to about 20 people.

One of them took exception.

They replied, cc'ing the entire group, asking to be removed.

The originator whined.

The exception flamed.

By the time I got the original message, it had spawned a screen-ful of followups, from the originator, the exception, one person defending the originator and two siding with the exception, and one that simply read 'WILL YOU ALL SHUT UP' which, while I agree with it, is a bit difficult to categorize and I still did not need to receive it.

I replied privately to the originator, as they were the only person I knew, and stated that in light of not wanting to receive such messages and subsequent flame wars, I would killfile anything I received from them that was copied to any other person I didn't know.

Setting that filter up would be a bear, so I didn't get around to trying to figure out how to do it, but they didn't send me any more of those things either. (Or probably anyone else....)

I'm still steamed at the exception. Because, I'm sorry, committing the offense you're complaining about in the process of the complaint? Tacky. :)

[susandennis]

Yeah see, sending privately violates all of the rules of the people like Person A. If it's good enough for me, then it's good enough for every single goddamn email address I have ever encountered!!

Tacky is a start but it it's way too tame to describe this behavior.

[suifu.livejournal.com]

Definitely not enough "Person B" folks around. I feel the same way - if I didn't ask for it, it's spam. It's really irritating when only 1 out of every 25 or 30 emails that I look at are directly addressed to me *and* have something to do with somebody that I know. There has to be a better way!!

[susandennis]

I started, a long time ago, asking people to take me off their lists. I have lost 'friends' who were offended. But, they have been replaced by more people for me to offend.

When we start cloning people, we need to make sure we get some of that Person B DNA into all the clones.

[lothie.livejournal.com]

Heh. I know. I HATE this crap.

[joyofmacs.livejournal.com]

You know, so many times I feel that way.

They could help their case a little if they even bothered to learn the BLIND COPY feature of email. Mass mailings from a friend don't help one to feel special. And when it goes on as you not how many times it got forwarded you wonder why they don't notice the quote marks. How easy it would be to delete and/or clean the mail up. But I am straying (don't I always?) from your point and that it is a distribution list you did not sign up for. S

This stuff can be equated with my uncle who used to show up with a slide projector. Makes the hair hurt.

Makes me feel creepy to know all these unrelated emails (work and personal combined) are seen and will be seen by more.

blah to SPAM. A rose by any other name.

[greyandred.livejournal.com]

Once, a guy from whom I bought something on ebay added me to his list. It took me a week to figure out who he even was.

Also, I ran into a guy I graduated with, who dated one of my friends. We had a nice chat, exchanged emails, and next thing I know, I'm getting right-wing forwards ("why can't we pray in schools?") and details of the firewater he and his friends drank last night. He hasn't spoken to me since I asked to be removed. I feel your pain.

Filtering spam

[pheon.livejournal.com]

Yup, there are far more clueless A's than B's. Julie and I have our email filtering set up such that if the sender isn't on our OK list, their message is counted as spam and goes into a trash folder. Periodically I get an email from the system summarizing (From, Subject) the trash and I skim through it to see if we trashed something that shouldn't be.

I also run a Bayesian filter that does a pretty good job of identifying spam.

[katbyte.livejournal.com]

I delete all kinds of stuff sent to me that is so stooooooooopid!!! I am lucky to have time to read the ones I really want. I get my bridge results, and the weather. That is about it that I requested.

(If you send this to all your friends or anyone you thought of sending email to, you will have great fortune) If you don't send this is 5 microseconds, you can keep the one type B friend you have and be happy and spam free. YOU GO GIRL