Frustrations

[susandennis]

I have a situation at work that is making me a little nuts. I'm being treated poorly but it's my reaction to it that is making me nuts. Rather than rising above it and taking the high road, I'm down in the mud being as stupid and the offenders. I can't stop myself.

A few weeks ago I was really really bummed out about something at work - a mistake I had made. I came home and spent some time thinking about it and worked myself right out of the funk. I was able to truly grasp on to 'so fucking what!' and move on.

I need to get there on this issue. I need to find that switch in me where I can say 'so fucking what' and mean it and know that whatever is done to me will not be reflected back by me. That's my weekend project.

Also Mom is not well. She started reporting last week that she didn't feel in top shape. She's probably having more of her little strokes. If today had not been Saturday, I think she would have called the doctor but now she doesn' t know how the doctor's office thing works on Saturday so she's not going to bother. She says she feels better now.

My real fear is that she doesn't stroke into a broccoli (or zuchinni, for Joy). If it's her time to go, I hope she just checks on out. I know she feels the same way.

On the up side she is in a place where they can help her. She has an emergency button she can press and she has people who are there to look out for her.

It just doesn't make the weekend more fun.

Comments

[joyofmacs.livejournal.com]

Oh boy Susan, I feel so sorry for you. I have BEEN there both in the worry about an eldery parent and the being treated poorly depts!

I too have reacted badly to certain work situations. I find these things seem to run in cycles and then they are on to other people. The only time I ever fought, truly fought it rationally vs. walking away or acting like them was with Mr. Big. I survived but it took so much out of me. Working for a living truly sucks.

Hang in my friend.

[susandennis]

Thanks... I'm not so bummed about being treated poorly. Fuckchops will be fuckchops. What's grinding on me is my reaction to it. I know where the damn high road is, why can't I just get up there and go??? I am better than these jerks and, so, therefore should not be letting them get to me so much that I respond in kind. GRRRRRR

[melodysk.livejournal.com]

Thinking of you and your mum Susuan ..hope everything is okay ..a least you have the *chance* to worry about an elderly parent ...not sure if thats a good thing or not ....

Bribes.

[kyrielle]

No, I'm serious. Set some reward that you don't normally get, but would like (ask people for ideas if you have to), and promise it to yourself if you make it through a certain period of time (a day, several days, a week, whatever seems appropriate to the reward-to-pain ratio) without dropping to their level.

Then, when the urge strikes, you'll have something positive to stop and think about.

Re: Bribes.

[susandennis]

I like it... on a couple of fronts. The obvious one, of course, but also, thinking of the appropriate award program will definately be better than just wallowing in self pity all weekend. Thanks!

[suifu.livejournal.com]

Hang in there!!!

Right with you!

[spiritgirl.livejournal.com]

I've been botching pretty regularly about work lately...letting people piss me off and get me rattled. The on elady who got made at me and won't speak actually turns her nose up when she's sees me!!! I'm gradually slipping into the "so effing what" mode...takes some time to let it slide down your back. Just remember there are those of us who think you have a wonderful life and admire your independence and free lifestyle. Let the fuckchops say and do what they will....so effing what!

[katbyte.livejournal.com]

I too, have had somewhat the same problem. I think you are much bigger than I am though. I want to give them enough rope to hang themselves. I work with the worlds most duplicitous, manipulating, evil Twinkie. The only thing is that she is not as smart as she thinks she is. I thought I just thought so, but found out all but one other in the office thinks the same thing.

It's so hard to do the right thing. Sometimes I just can't help myself, but you are right about being upstanding, I guess I will try harder too.

You know what they say about wallowing in the mud, you just get dirty and it annoys the pigs.

[madeleine.livejournal.com]

I'm way behind on my Friends list so I didn't find out about your Mom until now. I hope she's going to be ok! I think you have the right attitude: "If it's her time to go, I hope she just checks on out."

You must feel good about giving her such a great birthday present.