Including everyone

[susandennis]

For all of my working life, I have felt the no children discrimination. I have often been the only person on my various teams with no children or family. Whenever anyone has a sick child or a school event or a family whatever, I'm the one who covers. I'm expected to. Holidays/regular days/whenever. I have no family. I have no children. I do not have the excuse of 'sorry, I can't do whatever it is you want because I have to pick up the kids from school' or 'meet my wife so she can have the car' or or or

Some years it just annoyed the bejesus out of me and some years not so much. Now, since I am paid by the hour, that helps a little. But, it still means that I am on the hook to hang around and wait because everyone else has far more important things to do. And often it is very clear that I am just expected to.

But my favorite project manager taught me a very valuable lesson the other day. I need not be a victim. An email from this project manager (one who actually does have children and a husband and lots of outside activities) said, in part:

"I have to head out to do life for a bit. I’ll be back on in the early eve."

I was struck at the time by how egalitarian this simple sentence was. How cool a declaration that is!! I don't have children. I don't have family. But I can 'do life'! By gosh.

As it happens, this particular person sometimes reads this journal. So here's a thank you. I feel like I've now been given the same tools everyone else has! Or maybe I'm just the world's slowest learner but in any event, I feel much better.

Comments

[yesthatjill.livejournal.com]

That statement is simple and elegant and says so much. I like it. "I have to do life this afternoon."

[legalmoose]

A-freakin'-men, sister! Love it.

[kyrielle]

I love that statement! It is one thing I have always felt good about, where I work, though: the people-with-kids don't have it easier than the rest of us. Oh, yes, if you gotta get the kid from daycare, you can't stay late. But you CAN be asked to take your laptop and finish something up from home. Mostly, they don't get asked...because mostly they just say they will.

And I needed a flex in my schedule to take my cat to the vet? Not a problem, understood. To meet with a contractor and get something fixed at my house? Ditto.

I love that way of phrasing it, though. We ALL have to do life sometimes, and it's just as important to accomodate the things that require flex whether they are small and screaming, or large and whistling (my heating system this year!). :P

[monagrrl.livejournal.com]

Well, you're very welcome. And feel free to use that line anytime. :)

[susandennis]

:) - I probably will never use it but just knowing I have it in my pocket makes me feel like a player!

[howeird]

I suppose it's less threatening than "I have to head out early to dispose of the bodies in the trunk. I'll be back by sunrise".