I know everything

[susandennis]

Over the cubes, this morning, I heard 'Ask Susan Dennis, she knows everything'.... I cracked up. Then, sure enough, here comes Jae who wants to know if there is a way to get rid of the extra HTML code that Word sticks in when you save it as a web page. I remembered a while back that there was, in fact, a little utility to do just that. Google failed me but then I remembered that the thing came from Microsoft so I hopped over there and found it with the first search argument. Jae was tickled and I actually heard him back at his desk 'You are right, she does know everything!'

I am one of those people who would rather be known for competency than anything else. I like being liked but frankly, I'm not that likeable. And I don't really care that much. So if someone says I'm a bitch, I usually laugh and praise their perceptivity. But, if someone implies that I am not competent in any way, there is nothing that gets my sword out faster. And when someone praises me for being capable, I'm all over that.

My father's mother was a crab. A mean old lady who didn't like me any more than I liked her. She spent her final months - in her 90s - as basically a broccoli in a nursing home. They would prop her up in a chair and lock her in with this tray thing. I did not live close by and never went to see her. But, my Mom said that one day she rose out of her normal stupor and got really agitated and wanted Mom to take the tray off the chair. Mom said that she didn't know how. To which my grandmother said 'well, forgodsakes then, go get Susan, she'll know how to do it.'

This one little story about her makes me remember her fondly. And, when I hear that I know everything??!! I know it isn't true but I love hearing it anyway... Excuse me while I wallow in self dilusion a bit.

Comments

[kriostoir.livejournal.com]

that tickled me.
hey... your company isn't hiring secretaries, etc. are they?

[susandennis]

Sadly, no... but, 'secretaries' are very 90's in this town... it's admins now, baby. But, we're not hiring any here. Wouldn't that be fun, tho!

Re:

[kriostoir.livejournal.com]

darn. well, there's no harm in asking, is there? thanks for replying so quickly. it would be a lot of fun. i personally think that it helps the day pass to have a gay punk rocker with a british accent in the office.

[susandennis]

Frankly, I think every office should have one! And we are sadly lacking in any OOC gays, punk rockers or British accents - although we are slated to get a new VP from England - haven't heard him speak so I'm only guessing at the accent here.

Re:

[kriostoir.livejournal.com]

coolies
well, maybe if i end up doing what my roomate keeps suggesting and start my own bakery, i'll make a run by your office with some of my wares and you can all laugh your asses off at my antics. apparently i'm very funny.

[susandennis]

And, there is absolutely no harm in asking! In fact, if I were you, I'd seriously consider posting a paragraph or two about your skills and assets and what kind of work you are looking for in the Seattle LJ. It won't cost you a thing and you never can tell, it could net you a lead.

BTW, I think the British accent here in Seattle is a definate asset - seriously.

[waning-estrogen.livejournal.com]

can we look for your website to change to "AskSusanDennis.com"?

[susandennis]

Nah... that's asking for trouble... How about SusanDennisNoseAll.Com?

[kriostoir.livejournal.com]

lol
one of the girls on my friends list just posted that she had some questions about knitting and i told her... well... ask susan dennis.

[susandennis]

I sure hope she does... I'm always glad to help a knitter.

Re:

[kriostoir.livejournal.com]

:c)

[judith.livejournal.com]

well hell, yes, wallow! There are very few of us who know everything, and we have reason to be proud.

I think it's funny how you let us know you aren't really that likeable. You remind me of my dear daughter Elaine (I believe she is mselaine in this journal and is not receptive to comments), who knows what a bitch she can be, who does not need to be liked. I really admire that quality!

I also admire competence.

[susandennis]

I think I'd really like to be less mean but it takes so much work. Seriously. I've watched people who are nice and kind and wow. You've really got to want to be that way to pull it off and I don't have the energy.

[judith.livejournal.com]

I think it takes energy to be mean, too, to stay the course. The liberating part of it is that you really are who you are, no apologies, and that's a good thing.

I suspect that you are nicer than you let on, though. Fundamentally. Just not the type to suffer fools gladly.

[katbyte.livejournal.com]

Sometimes it is like I open my mouth, and your words come out!! I am not easy to like either. It takes so much effort to be truly nice. (I think nice though) I find that when I do make a friend though, they are good ones and last a lifetime. Quality, not quantity, I guess.

Re:

[katbyte.livejournal.com]

I bow to your self discipline!!

[susandennis]

See, I don't even think nice. In fact, my only saving grace is that occasionally, I do not act as mean as I think!

[ruralrob.livejournal.com]

Rumour has it that you know everything. I never doubted it. Including the meaning of life, probably.

So how do I get to stop that light flashing where the time and date should be on my VCR?

[susandennis]

Of course I know the meaning of life! I'm not at liberty to divulge it but, I know it... I do.

And for question #2. The way to get that light to stop flashing is to simply unplug it, honey. Wipe your fingers first, tho. Won't do to get chocolate on the plug.

[ruralrob.livejournal.com]

Ah! I knew you would know about VCR's. Thanks for the tip, including the bit about the chocolate. Gee you really do know everything, don't ya?

[emjaybaxter.livejournal.com]

Ah Susan, I'm sorry to point this out to you but you got the answer to Bob's question wrong. The answer should have been get Meirion to do it. That's his normal method.

[angelamermaid.livejournal.com]

I'm tickled by the thought that I must be the Susan Dennis of my department. :-)

As easily as that . . .

[idajo.livejournal.com]

. . . a new buzzword is borne!

[susandennis]

Now that's probably the highest compliment ever! Carry on and do good!

[angelamermaid.livejournal.com]

Hee. When I was taking graphic arts in 1989, it was the dawn of computers revolutionizing the industry. I loved having Macs in the classroom, and I was the geek who sat down and actually read the manuals and figured out how to do all the cool stuff. And then became the person whom everyone went to do for help, even the instructor from time to time.

We had a pop quiz about the computers and software we were using. The instructor let me know before class that (a) I'd aced it, 100% and (b) the rest of the class tanked, he was about to tear a strip off of them, and he strongly suggested I spend the next hour in the dark room, or the library, anywhere but our classroom. He wanted to protect me from jealous glares. I went to the library.

But from time to time, I did get the "bitch" vibe from some of my classmates because I found using the Macs so easy and fun, and they had trouble saving to the floppies. I sometimes get the same vibe when someone at work asks for help with Excel or the intranet or the billing system, etc.

I suppose if I wanted to be the most beloved person, I could be humble and sober and deferential when helping everyone, but frig it, life's not that long. I just go with polite and friendly and don't apologize for being a know-it-all.

[jawnbc]

Dreamweaver also has a "clean up shitty Word html code", at least versions 4 and MX do.

I suspect a fair number of people are quite drawn to you and a fair number find you insufferable. Because that's my experience with me, and since I truly know everything...

Easygoing and likeable aren't synonymous; I'd bet you're very much the latter. Same goes for unkind and intense. You seem to like to get things done, and thrill to find new ways to do 'em better. And competency is so under-valued in the world today...

[susandennis]

Yeahbutt if he had Dreamweaver then he wouldn't be needing to use Word to make the HTML! (I'm not a big Dreamweaver fan. I had to use it in a job several years ago and we (me and Dreamweaver) just never bonded properly.)

And your other assessment is pretty spot on. I had a friend in college who once told me that she was so glad to be my friend because she couldn't bear to be my enemy!

[geordie.livejournal.com]

Duct tape or electricians tape also work for the VCR, they also work for the oil warning and check engine lights on cars. If you are handy with mechanical things you can often remove the leads that power the display, a less obvious method than six inches of duct tape.

[susandennis]

Yeah but I hate to waste good duck tape these days and then have to go buy more and have everyone in the hardware store look at you like your are an isolationist nut... however, you are right about the fix.