spitting bullets

[susandennis]

I am so pissed I can't see straight. Well, that's not exactly true. I am working hard to get over it and am on the way. But an hour ago, I was so pissed I couldn't see straight.

I joined this company 22 months ago and was promised a raise in 6 months. 6 months came and went and I asked my manager for feedback on my performance and she said she needed to check on some stuff and would get back to me. When I didn't hear anything after about 4 months, I asked again and she said that she needed to consult with the guy who handles HR.

12 months later she was going on maternity leave and I asked again. Please could I get her opinion of how I was doing? She said that they had decided that there would be no raises until we showed a profit. I said that I understood that but would still like some feedback. I got squat.

Over the past 2 months she has said a couple of times that she needs to do my appraisal. Great, I said, every time. Today she sends me a note asking me if I've completed the appraisal form yet. WHAT FUCKING APPRAISAL FORM????????

Well, turns out she sure meant to send me this new form they have and just forgot. But, I need to fill it out from scratch listing my objectives and how I think I've done against them. What objectives, I asked? Oh, you know, she says.

I sent her a note saying that especially in light of the fact that I have asked repeatedly and gotten nothing and now am being forced to evaluate myself against a set of objectives that I must also invent, I thought this was pretty unfair treatment.

I then told her in the note that I would get over it because I am a big girl and that I would look at it as a chance to rewrite history. I'll do it this weekend and she can do what she wants with it.

I think it's pretty clear that I am not a very valuable employee and that this company has the balls of a gnat. If I suck, fire me. If I don't, then tell me when I ask. It ain't rocket science.

Yes, I am paid well and yes the commute is wonderful and I have gotten to do some really fun things and I've learned a lot, but I have an expectation that I will be treated honorably and fairly by my employer. Not happening. In addition to rewriting history this weekend, I think I'll make sure my resume is up to date. I know it's close but it will make me feel better to make it perfect.

Ok, now I am officially over it. Thanks for listening.

Comments

[emjaybaxter.livejournal.com]

Some managers just can't handle the job of managing especially HR managing. But look on the bright side you now have an opportunity to create a very glowing appraisal. She wouldn't have the nerve to not give you a raise then.

Glad you're over being pissed.

By the way being pissed has a couple of connotations here. As well as being supremely angry it also means your so drunk you can't stand.

[susandennis]

Perfect point about my opportunity. It's really really not about the raise. I know that's not going to happen. But it is about feedback. I shall, in bullet points and cohesive arguments, declare myself a golden employee and just dare her to challenge one bit of it! I write great appraisals. I once had an IBM HR manager use the ones I wrote for my employees as good examples. I plan to top myself this weekend.

You know, I've never understood how the Brits could be pissed mad or pissed drunk. It's so confusing. Whenever I hear one of them talking about taking a piss, I have to really stop and figure out if he's going to get drunk or take a leak. It's one of their many tricks to confuse us over here in the colonies.

[emjaybaxter.livejournal.com]

Go for it.

As to being Pissed etc. I think the Brits have a saying "to take the piss" out of someone, which means to kid them, or maybe I'm thinking of something else. They don't use Pissed however as meaning "angry". Strange language they speak isn't it?

[susandennis]

No, I think you have it right about the piss/kidding thing. Where did those people learn their vocabulary anyway???!!!

[ruralrob.livejournal.com]

From the source, my dear, the source.

But serioulsy, I hope you are feeling less piqued now. And Meirion was right. It's very common to run in to managers who have little skills in managing people; they were promoted because (perhaps) they were perceived to be good at their jobs. That of course has nothing to do with their ability to manage.

You have the opportunity now to seize this opportunity by the horns and manage the process of your performance review. Write yourself a glowing report indicating you've met all the goals that were set (even if they weren't set at the oustet. Set them now - retroactively.) True, the process is a farce, but make it work for you. You will likley be respected for doing just that. Playing the game is what it's all about, and if you are good at that, so much the better.

[melodysk.livejournal.com]

Ahem!

Susans official Brit Speaker here :)

We (Brits) say : Take the piss , meaning someone is using and/or abusing a privilidge

We also say : I am sooo pissed , meaning very angry

We further say : Got pissed , meaning blotto , steamed , drunk as a skunk

And Piss up : As in ...go for a piss up ..where you GET pissed (drunk)

Oh and lets not forget : PISS OFF! Asking someone politely to go away *g*

:)

[susandennis]

Oh thanks so much for the list! Sounds like you could be pissed in England and it could mean anything. Very strange that British piss. My new boss (my manager's boss) is British - just over this week - I'm every so glad to have this list now!

[melodysk.livejournal.com]

Eek! I forgot the most obvious one:

Take a piss : have leak / take a slash / visit the little boys room / visit the heads ......urinate :)

[susandennis]

Ha! So I was right - piss is the one-word answer to everything!!! You guys need to get some more words!

But, once again, you have saved my poor American butt. I hope you realize that I now can actually understand Brit conversation thanks to all your translation help. The Coupling marathon I had last weekend was a good example. There were several times when I would have been totally lost except for the Melody lessons!

that's just lame

[henare.livejournal.com]

but i think you have the right attitude. if they don't care enough to track what you're doing and how well you're doing it then engaging in soviet-style history seems appropriate.

Re: that's just lame

[susandennis]

Thanks! And you are right. This weekend, I will document how I am THE one who keeps this place from going under. And I d-double-dare her to challenge one single bit of it.

[joyofmacs.livejournal.com]

ASSHATS! FUCK-CHOPS!

Hey that is pretty much the way we do things here and the main reason we write our own is because our higher ups really have no idea what we do.

Damned if I met all of my objectives!

Join the crowd

[spiritgirl.livejournal.com]

I had to write my own job description a few months ago....and as far as evaluation....I haven't really gotten an evaluation ever at this job (5 years). I've had four job titles, a promotion in status, a demotion (without pay cut), and lots of annoying connotations. Besides that I have reached my limit with the fuck-chop next door to me. I just can't bring myself to be helpful to her in any way. This is the now 3/4 time person becuase she has never worked full time who had to leave at 10:30 a.m. to go pay a personal bill when she leaves at 2 any way and is off on Fridays. Seems like no matter how good you are, getting good feedback along with stated appreciation is a hard commodity. I've reached the just shut up and hand over the paycheck mode.

Gees.....guess your post hit a nerve!!! Take care.....we appreciate you....and I know you're doing a great job!!!

[idajo.livejournal.com]

If ANYONE should be polishing a resume, your manager (and I use the term loosely!) gets my vote!! Sheesh! I think you've been exceedingly patient and accommodating; you might mention those qualities in your self-eval!!