Mom's complaints

[susandennis]

Mom is doing a lot of complaining these days. Her mother, my perfect, wonderful Grandma did the same thing. Grandma never complained about anything in her entire life until the last few years when she complained about every single thing all the time all day long.

Mom's on her way. But, I think I'm understanding why. Her first email this morning was saying that she couldn't remember if her cleaning lady was coming today or not. She said that she needed to call the cleaning people and tell them that next time her person couldn't come to send a sub.

The next note I got was about 2 hours later and she was all pissed off because they sent a sub.

This little scenario is repeated pretty much all day. Last night she told me her friend, Libba, was mad at her. I sent her a note saying 'I'm sorry Libba is mad at you but I'm sure she'll get over it.' Mom sends a note back saying Libba isn't mad at her or anyone else and why would I think that???

Mom is just running on so few brain cells that she doesn't have enough left to use to understand that she's turning into Wanda Whackadoodle! She thinks she's told people things that never got said and she forgets what they said. But she doesn't get that all this is happening. I think her complaint level is a reflection of her frustration that things aren't happening the way her few little brain cells tell her they should and she can't figure out why.

On the up side, she does have to get her medicines organized and herself fed and cleaned. Those are the important bits. What's left over goes to Tivo and email. And she's safe and not hurting anybody.

And I'm getting much better and just letting it all roll off of me. My brother is going up there on Saturday for a little on-site check.

Comments

[joyofmacs.livejournal.com]

It is so wonderful that you are in such close contact via email. These are scary things to endure as we watch our parents decline. Especially when we see the end is near.

My Gram did the same thing with the complaining. I never thought dying in your sleep was a good thing until we went through two years of death/dying with the Millers. My gram died in her sleep. No chance to say goodbye but having experienced sudden death and long protracted deaths I see it both sucks but sudden is best.

[susandennis]

Oh I so agree!!! In my book sudden death is a blessing...

[madeleine.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear about your Mom. Any chance she can move into an assisted living kind of place?

[susandennis]

Absolutely! The place where she lives now has several different areas. She's in the independant living section now. There is assisted living, nursing and then a special section for alzheimers.

Right now the assisted living is one room. If they had two room suites, she'd probably move in tomorrow. As it is, she really has few qualms about moving in there. We actually joke about it. Her latest joke is that she needs special wiring installed before she moves in to accommodate her Tivo and her computer.

Her living situation is one I do not have to worry about at all. And it's all paid for.

[1forward2back.livejournal.com]

How old is Mom?

[susandennis]

She turned the big 80 in February.

[melodysk.livejournal.com]

I love hearing about your mum , and she does come across as the sort to go on for ever and a day :)

I hope she is well , and I am pleased that you sound as though you are chilled with everything :)

[susandennis]

Thanks... As with so many things these days, if I didn't have LJ for Mom issues and everything else, I'd probably have jumped off the terrace by now!

[melodysk.livejournal.com]

I know how you feel ..I am the same with oldest son stuff and Stephen and employment stuff at the moment

Plus *womens stuff*

Gackkkkkk

Thank the almighty for LJ

By the way ..it *still* strikes me as odd that we can almost talk to each other and yet be thousands of miles and hours away from each other *g* I get a real kick out of it!

[lothie.livejournal.com]

My grandmother, who was bitchy and contentious for most of her life -- for very good reasons -- got very submissive the last few years. This scared me more than anything else I've ever seen. I wonder if my mother will be the same (though she's far less bitchy to start with). I'm hoping I won't need to find out for quite a while yet...but god, to see my grandmother getting so passive...*shudder*

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

My grandmother Mimi who whined, worried and fussed all her life became progressively more cheerful after each of her strokes. The last time I saw her she thought I was Pappy and flirted with me like we were teenagers. I dunno but guess it's better to be the other way: content for most of our lives before we get old and sick.

[dlanor.livejournal.com]

I really enjoy reading about your mom, I am glad that your are sharing with us. My mother is 80 and she is working as a volunteer in a nursing home, has done that for years. She travels to see me about once a year, she lives in ND.

[lady-curmudgeon.livejournal.com]

Glad to hear that you're having an easier time coping with things. It's the first step to being able to keep your sanity when dealing with an aging parent! I'm also glad to hear that you and your brother are sharing the burden--my mom didn't get much help from her siblings when she was helping her dad out in the final years of his life, and it was so hard on her.

Your mom sounds like a cool lady. You are blessed.

hugs,
Pam