Maybe they'll pick up a pointer or two?

[susandennis]

I just realized that it is 3:30 and I have not contributed to LJ all day. Geesh. It's not even been that busy. Kind of quiet really since half the company is off to a sexual harrassment training session. (The rest of us go next week.)

Not that they need it... oh no. Not these boys and girls. They pretty much have it down to a science. There's nothing they love better than an enuendo. Oh wait, yes there is... they love a homophobic crack better.

We have 55 employees now. If you take the accepted average of 10% and round down, you come up with 5 employees who are likely gay. However many are gay, none are comfortable enough to be public about it or even close. And I sure can't blame them. How horrible it must be for them to have to hide their very selves and hear the frequent fag jokes. It really pisses me off but it has to be way worse for them.

Every since they announced this mandatory training (the first of any kind that the company has ever had), there have been nothing but six grade humor about it out-loud and constant. Makes you proud to be part of the group, I tell you.

It would be great if this seminar helped the problem. I'm not holding out a lot of hope, but maybe a little.

Comments

[ruralrob.livejournal.com]

Well at least its a positive step that the company has arranged the training sessions. Anyway, thanks for your supportive atitude, Susan - it means a lot.

[susandennis]

You know, you are right! I am grateful that they are at least trying, although I think that now we have more than 50 employees that it's required. BUT at least they are doing it - better than not. For sure.

[pheon.livejournal.com]

Yeah. My boss before I retired had to state several times that this training was not about getting pointers on how to harrass before many took him seriously.

Interestingly, our group of engineers and project managers was almost exactly 50/50 male/female. And it was the women who embarassed the poor trainer. [Who was a wimpy female who should never have been teaching the class. She got embarrassed by the PowerPoint slides, for Pete's sake!]

[susandennis]

We certainly don't have anything near 50/50. We have 1 female on the development team (about 30% of the company). Most of the women are in the marketing and sales team and they are the first to make a crack.

As a feminist who came up during the really dark years, I'm even more offended when women are stupid than when men are. But, I guess I should be grateful that they feel so secure and equal that they can be just as ridiculous as the men are. I'm pretty sure this class is taught by a woman.

The reality is that I am just offended that there is so little consideration for others.

Re: Two weeks

[fj.livejournal.com]

What it will take is one out homo just being visible. They'll shut up then.

Re: Two weeks

[rsc.livejournal.com]

I was thinking the same thing, and had the wicked idea that Susan should come out at work. Yeah, yeah, I know... but you wouldn't mind a little fib in a good cause, would you?

P.S. FJ, why do all your replies have a subject of "Two Weeks" these days?

[thegreggory.livejournal.com]

I remember sexual harasment training at work, Huge waste of time.

But as a gay guy. I don't worry about the jokes, a joke is a joke. What I hate are the fag jokes that are so stupid you can't even fake a smile.

Being gay and employed is hard. You spend more time with co-workers then you do with anyone esle (think about it) when was the last time you and your best friend spent 8 hours a day together for 5 days straight.

But long gone are the days when I even worry about it, for the above reasons, I figure they will clue in soon enough, and when they ask,some one aways does. they get my stock response. "What do you think?".

I'm not a closet case nor and I'm not out and proud. I'm just me. Straight people are not expected to admit there sexual preferences, so do I have to?

But your right a life hiding your true self is no life.

[kyrielle]

Meh. Yeah, we had a lot of that at my work. A looooot. Then the office got someone who was gay and out and open about it (not loud, but open - spurred by the fact that she was bringing a partner across several states to stay with her as she switched jobs, of course, which made the question really obvious even to the oblivious in the office).

All the 'gay' humor evaporated. One of the worst offenders now talks about gay rights in a positive tone. I'd love peer pressure better if I thought that it really changed the way they think, but the turnaround was so blammo that I doubt it was real. (Who knows, by now it might be.)

Of course, now we have religious jibes. Sigh.

[minimac.livejournal.com]

When I was just out of college, I worked at a temp job at a bank *shudder* for a few months. The bank just happened to be across the street from the gay bar. My two co-workers used to make remarks on occasion. Then one day I had just had my fill of it and came out to them. You should have seen the look on their faces. They were all weirded out for about a week and then one of them actually invited me and my then girlfriend over for dinner.
Sometimes a little shock therapy does the trick.

[jwg.livejournal.com]

A few times I've read these surveys and they found that straight people who were not homphobic were much more likely to have a gay person as a colleague or a relative. There are lots of reasons to be out - it really changes the picture in so many situations.

[sylphishone.livejournal.com]

I am straight. I work in an office with several gay people. I think the openly gay people have lots of friends and are generally well liked. People will joke "with" them not "about" them and it is all good natured and the jokes are often directed at straight people too. Offices do need humor. On the other hand, in one of our offices in another state there is a gentleman I believe to be gay. He has few friends and is the butt of jokes. Not just gay jokes though. The difference is that he hasn't come out. I think people sense that he isn't comfortable with himself and is deceptive and that carries through on his business relationship with people. No one cares if he is gay. That isn't the issue. The issue is that he isn't truthful and and doesn't trust people. It is sad. Now, I know this isn't really what you all were talking about but reading the comment about havinga gay come "out" made me think about it. I think we as humans tend to accept people that like themselves and not like people that don't. I hope this isn't inappropriate. I is just my opinion and observation.

[susandennis]

Ok, first of all, I kind of recognized your name but couldn't immediately place it so I clicked on it and discovered that you are The New Mrs. LordJim!!! Hi!! Congrats! And thanks for updating your bio so I was able to fix my brain fart so quickly.

And to your points... not at all inappropriate. Very interesting.

I do agree about fun being necessary at the office but I also know that it needs to be good fun and not mean fun. Around here, we don't have too many who know the difference.