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susandennisThis entry is one that I've hesitated making now for a couple of weeks. It's kind of crossing a line that I don't know if I'm ready to cross but here goes anyway.
I've been smoking cigarettes for nearly 40 years. Yep. I was raised in the heart of the tobacco land in a city who's name is most recognized as two cigarette brands. My parents both smoked. I only knew one pair of adults who didn't. This couple were friends of my parents and they often had unlit cigarettes in their hands. I asked my mother once why they did that and she explained that most of their friends earned their living from the tobacco industry and while they (the couple) could not really support the industry due to asthma, they showed their emotional support by carrying cigarettes.
In those 40 years, I've never considered not smoking. Once, when I was married, my husband decided we should quit. So I stopped for as long as he did - about a week as I remember - then when he started smoking again, that was the end of it.
The conventional reasons for not smoking are pretty meaningless to me. I'm not interested in living forever or even to an old age. I'm going to die of something and any number of the illnesses that smoking causes is as good as any. I am never around children and have no influence over any of them. I live alone and, frankly, can't really tell that my house stinks of cigarette smoke. My teeth are as stained by coffee as by cigarettes. Etc. etc. Plus, smoking has always given me more than it's taken away. You meet interesting people out in the smoking areas. It has zero calories. At work, it's a great excuse to get up, walk around, go outside. Etc. etc.
But, things are changing and I'm going to have to make some changes. I've had a cough for about the past two weeks. It's mainly a dry cough that is very annoying. It's started to interrupt my sleep. And it's getting harder and harder to breathe. When I wake up in the morning, it takes me a few minutes just to get a breath. This is not good and it's annoying. In the past week, I've smoked a couple of cigarettes that I didn't even enjoy and that were difficult to even smoke without coughing... time to do something. So I've washed out the ashtray and put it away. I've cancelled my standing order at esmokes.com.
I have no idea if I'll be able to not smoke. We'll see.
Whenever I see someone older than me smoking, I think - Ha, they are still alive! Whenever I ask someone I know who has quit if they still want a cigarette they always say with passion "yes!" I think by writing this entry, I'm drawing a line in the sand - kind of a helper application for me.
Today could be interesting... I think maybe I'll start by wiping all the ash off this keyboard....
I've been smoking cigarettes for nearly 40 years. Yep. I was raised in the heart of the tobacco land in a city who's name is most recognized as two cigarette brands. My parents both smoked. I only knew one pair of adults who didn't. This couple were friends of my parents and they often had unlit cigarettes in their hands. I asked my mother once why they did that and she explained that most of their friends earned their living from the tobacco industry and while they (the couple) could not really support the industry due to asthma, they showed their emotional support by carrying cigarettes.
In those 40 years, I've never considered not smoking. Once, when I was married, my husband decided we should quit. So I stopped for as long as he did - about a week as I remember - then when he started smoking again, that was the end of it.
The conventional reasons for not smoking are pretty meaningless to me. I'm not interested in living forever or even to an old age. I'm going to die of something and any number of the illnesses that smoking causes is as good as any. I am never around children and have no influence over any of them. I live alone and, frankly, can't really tell that my house stinks of cigarette smoke. My teeth are as stained by coffee as by cigarettes. Etc. etc. Plus, smoking has always given me more than it's taken away. You meet interesting people out in the smoking areas. It has zero calories. At work, it's a great excuse to get up, walk around, go outside. Etc. etc.
But, things are changing and I'm going to have to make some changes. I've had a cough for about the past two weeks. It's mainly a dry cough that is very annoying. It's started to interrupt my sleep. And it's getting harder and harder to breathe. When I wake up in the morning, it takes me a few minutes just to get a breath. This is not good and it's annoying. In the past week, I've smoked a couple of cigarettes that I didn't even enjoy and that were difficult to even smoke without coughing... time to do something. So I've washed out the ashtray and put it away. I've cancelled my standing order at esmokes.com.
I have no idea if I'll be able to not smoke. We'll see.
Whenever I see someone older than me smoking, I think - Ha, they are still alive! Whenever I ask someone I know who has quit if they still want a cigarette they always say with passion "yes!" I think by writing this entry, I'm drawing a line in the sand - kind of a helper application for me.
Today could be interesting... I think maybe I'll start by wiping all the ash off this keyboard....
