More Mom Musings
Oct. 29th, 2002 11:38 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
susandennisThis is one of those really fancy places that is sectioned off. Independent living, assisted living, hospital care on down to what I reverently call the vegetable bin. My grandparents did the exact same thing a generation earlier. They lived there for 25 years! My grandfather who really was a broccoli for his last 10 lived in the vegetable bin and was lovingly cared for until he died.
Anyway, Mom and Dad got a beautiful, big (1,300 square feet - 2 bedrooms, 2.5 baths) apartment at this place and moved in. And sure enough, 6 months later, Daddy had a heart attack and died a week later. But, meanwhile, Mom was totally ensconced in this place where she has all kinds of choices - she can eat dinner in the dining room or cook in her kitchen. She can drive her car or take the bus they provide to things like the theater and symphony and even grocery store. It's a wonderful place and a wonderful thing.
So, really, if we all (the kids) dropped dead she'd be fine - well, cared for anyway.
My sister is one of those people around whom the entire world revolves. She has 3 children and worries about Mom when it is convenient for her - which isn't too often. She is not very reliable and goes long stretches with no communications at all. She and I don't talk unless it is absolutely necessary and then we say as little as possible - about Mom or anything else.
My brother is one of those people for whom responsibility has always been a problem. He's now 49 years old and is beginning to come to terms with it in his own way. He lives the closest to Mom - a 4 hour drive. He and I agreed several years ago that I would take care of the big ticket items. I'd worry, I'd over see the money, I'd keep constant contact, I'd be in charge. And, his job would be to - whenever necessary - drop everything and run up there and do what needs to be done. He has totally kept up his end of the deal. I know that if I needed him to go, he absolutely would - no questions asked. And he'd be great about it.
A couple of years ago I was there when she had one of her strokes. They put in a pacemaker. I extended my stay but had to leave after she came home from the hospital. My bother volunteered to be there before I left and take over. And he sure did. The doctor told her not to take a shower while her pacemaker spot was healing but she couldn't stand it. He sent me this email when I got home describing how he had packaged up her shoulder where the pacemaker is with dry cleaning bags and then sat with his book outside the bathroom while she showered. To this day it gives me such a smile to think of the two of them plotting to overthrow the doctor's orders.
We are all very lucky. Mom has me, I have my brother, my sister has her own world.
Anyway, Mom and Dad got a beautiful, big (1,300 square feet - 2 bedrooms, 2.5 baths) apartment at this place and moved in. And sure enough, 6 months later, Daddy had a heart attack and died a week later. But, meanwhile, Mom was totally ensconced in this place where she has all kinds of choices - she can eat dinner in the dining room or cook in her kitchen. She can drive her car or take the bus they provide to things like the theater and symphony and even grocery store. It's a wonderful place and a wonderful thing.
So, really, if we all (the kids) dropped dead she'd be fine - well, cared for anyway.
My sister is one of those people around whom the entire world revolves. She has 3 children and worries about Mom when it is convenient for her - which isn't too often. She is not very reliable and goes long stretches with no communications at all. She and I don't talk unless it is absolutely necessary and then we say as little as possible - about Mom or anything else.
My brother is one of those people for whom responsibility has always been a problem. He's now 49 years old and is beginning to come to terms with it in his own way. He lives the closest to Mom - a 4 hour drive. He and I agreed several years ago that I would take care of the big ticket items. I'd worry, I'd over see the money, I'd keep constant contact, I'd be in charge. And, his job would be to - whenever necessary - drop everything and run up there and do what needs to be done. He has totally kept up his end of the deal. I know that if I needed him to go, he absolutely would - no questions asked. And he'd be great about it.
A couple of years ago I was there when she had one of her strokes. They put in a pacemaker. I extended my stay but had to leave after she came home from the hospital. My bother volunteered to be there before I left and take over. And he sure did. The doctor told her not to take a shower while her pacemaker spot was healing but she couldn't stand it. He sent me this email when I got home describing how he had packaged up her shoulder where the pacemaker is with dry cleaning bags and then sat with his book outside the bathroom while she showered. To this day it gives me such a smile to think of the two of them plotting to overthrow the doctor's orders.
We are all very lucky. Mom has me, I have my brother, my sister has her own world.