Mom update

[susandennis]

I got a note from my brother today saying he's worried about leaving Mom alone on Sunday. He thinks that she should not be driving the car at all and should be packing up to move into assisted living. He might not be wrong but he might be working off a set of skewed notes.

The driving thing is pretty funny because Mom thinks he is a terrible driver. Last year, when I was on the way out there to visit, he sent me a note saying that he was worried about her driving. When I got there, we were in the car one day - I was driving - and Mom remarked 'you sure are a better driver than your brother... riding with him is really stressful.'

Moving into assisted living is kind of a big step for a lot of reasons. Mom has never had any objections to the idea when the time comes. But right now they only have one-room situations. They are planning to build two-room suites but for now, she'd be confined to one room. It's kind of a mystery how she would stuff her, her computer, her Tivo and the basics into one room.

But the main thing is probably that she needs some time to figure out what she wants and needs. Fortunately, the people who run that joint are fabulous. There is a woman executive there who's job it is to help residents and their families make these kind of decisions. She is wonderful. She and I have already swapped emails since Mom's hospitalization.

And, then there is Polly, my wonderful lady-who-does, who is ready to step in and do whatever.

I also wonder if Bill isn't feeling a little burdened.

I just got a note from Mom that they have, today, gone to get her nails done and her hearing aids cleaned. So sounds like life is moving on there.

I spent my walk this morning noodling it all out and came to the conclusion that whatever happens will happen. Brilliant, doncha think?

Comments

[emjaybaxter.livejournal.com]

Glad to hear she is coming along so well.
I like your philosophy on life as well.

[katbyte.livejournal.com]

I have just gone through almost this same situation with my best friend and her mother. It is so hard for the family, and worse for the person who has to move to assisted living. I think as long as they are mentally capable, keep them involved in all decisions. Hopefully they will come to the one you think they should.

It might take longer than you think it should, but can you imagine giving up your independence? Forever? Tough one. My mother's last unselfish act was to die before we had to make those decisions. I feel for you, it's tough.