ups and downs and ups and downs

[susandennis]

I have not felt physcially great all Summer. There's nothing specifically wrong but a mix of disconcerting things, a continually swollen foot and ankle, really sore muscles (and, trust me, not from over use), a vague feeling of exhaustion and sometimes a feeling that if I stand too long, I'll just pass out and sometimes a throat thing that feels like there's a lump there - big and persistant and most of the time it feels like I just ate a big meal even if I didn't.

Now a reasonable rational person would go get a physical or at least check with some medical person. The emphasis in that last sentence is 'reasonable rational'. Not me. I haven't mentioned much, if any of this before, since it makes no sense to me to complain about something that I intend to do nothing to fix.

But, I do think that I might feel better if I actually moved my ass a bit. About the only physical exercise I have ever tolerated is walking. There have been times in my life when I was a pretty darned good walker. I think I can do that again. I've done a bit on the past couple of weekends. I have some old walking cassettee tapes - mixed to guide to xxx number of steps per minute, etc. They are very old and drag in places which kind of makes for interesting walking rhythm. But, I broke down yesterday and ordered a new tape.

We'll see. It is getting a little cooler (although our high-pitched really annoying tv weather people are all hyped up right now as today may well - yes, it could be - maybe oh maybe that we break the record for most consecutive days with temperatures in the 70's or above - plus it is so dry and dusty it's hard to breathe). I think tonight I'm going to fire up my humidifiers in the bedroom so I can sleep without waking up coughing on dust.

And on top of this is work woes.

So one day I feel not so bad physically but work sucks and then other day work doesn't quite suck but I feel really crappy. And somedays things are ok. It really feels like a rollar coaster a lot of the time.

And then I think that I am just way too focused on me. Way way way.....