The Pencil Test

[susandennis]

When I was growing up, a girl got the information about her body from her friends. My Mother told me about menstruation in one 15 minute session about a year before my first period. I had no idea what she was talking about and didn't really care, frankly. However, when it hit the first time at least I wasn't freaked.

But, the rest of the nits and tricks, you picked up from girlfriends and those with older sisters were particularly helpful. When I was in my late 20s the Boston Women's Health Group published the first edition of Our Bodies and Ourselves which explained everything but that was a long time to wait for some key info.

My issue was boobs. My girlfriends had them and I didn't. My friends all got bras because 'they needed them'. The way you knew you needed one was the pencil test. You took a pencil (No2 Ticonderoga worked fine) and put it at the base of your boob. If it fell to the floor, you didn't need a bra. I killed a lot of pencils.

My Mom was nice enough to get me a training bra but the little mounds, apparently, were not trainable. I finally tossed it out. More pencils fell.

In the 60's we burned our bras. I use the 'we' metaphorically. The only contribution I could make to the effort was sympathy. I had a brief period of inclusion when going 'braless' was very in. But, that fad passed.

Over the years I saved a ton of money. There was a hard patch when shoulder pads were in and the best ones were those that attached to your bra staps. I was shit out of luck there. And there was one really funny time when I was working at Microsoft (the first time so this was about 6 years ago). My manager was this very perky blonde woman who was 20 years younger than I was. One day she was in my office and we were just chatting. She said that she had a headache from her bra straps digging into her shoulders. "You know how that is..." And I told her that I really did not - that I had never worn a bra.

Her reaction was hilarious. She was incredulous. My back was to the door so I just lifted my shirt to prove it. I thought I was going to have to pick her off the floor. I don't think she ever got over it. It was the conversation for a month with the girls in our group.

And then I got fat. When I turned 50, I quit worrying about extra pounds and all of those floating around looking for a home found my body. My ass got the first of them. And then the rest of me. My boobs started itching. I mean they itched like crazy for nearly a year and then stopped and then started again a couple of years later. Finally it dawned on me that my boobs brushing against my shirt made the itching worse and I bought my first bra. The itching stopped. That was six months ago - at age 54 and a half. Then I found a couple that were more comfortable. And now I wear one every day.

Not long ago I remembered the pencil test and tried it. I can't hold up a fist full but I can keep one tucked in nicely for a long time just standing there in front of the mirror.

Finally, I am a woman...