Don't fuck with my Mother
Sep. 30th, 2004 04:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
susandennisThis has been a loooong day.
I called Mom this morning as usual and she answered before the first ring was finished. She told me that the head nurse told her yesterday that she was not going to let Mom go back to her apartment - ever. Mom was beside herself. She asked me to find out what was going on.
I call Mom when I get off the bus and we chat while I walk the 10 mins to my office. I went into the office and turned on the computer and it was like I opened a trash bag. My inbasket was full of crap - and I left work on Wednesday with a nice load of Stuff That Has To Be Done On Thursday.
So I hook the phone on my shoulder and start punching in nums while I start on the email. I left a message for the head nurse. I waited 30 minutes and left a message for the executive director of the place. I waited another hour and a half and called the nursing station and asked the person there to find the fucking head nurse and tell her to call me NOW.
I doused some of the email fires. I fixed yesterday's problems. I organized tomorrow's. The head nurse called me. She did not make me happy. She said that she never told mother that but the reality is that it is true. And that Mom needs to move into assisted living right away. She also told me that 'the family' had been informed and that we were all in agreement. I knew we had a problem.
I she had already talked to Mom this morning and told her she was going into assisted living. So I called Mom back. We talked about options - hiring someone to come live with her, hiring someone to check up on her every day, moving into assisted living. Mom said she wanted time to think about everything and I said I would get her whatever time she needed.
I hung up and called the executive director back - this is a nice lady - Sarah and I was able to lay out for her the problem as I saw it. Her staff does not communicate well. Her social worker does not communicate with me at all. Her head nurse is making Mom very sad and scared and a little bit threatened. And I was not happy.
I told her that if everyone got with the program and quit telling Mom what to do, in a day or two she will come to the decision on her own that it is time to give up the apartment. She said she would talk to everyone, Mom included.
I gave it about 3 hours. I called Mom back and Mom said that she had decided to give up the apartment and she swore to me that she was fine about it. We talked about options and what will happen to her stuff and how it's all going to happen and she seemed ok. She finally admitted to me that she was not ready to go back to the apartment and she probably never will be.
My bother and Trey are going up there tomorrow. They still have Mom's car and had planned to return it anyway. So it is good they are going. I just got off the phone with Bill. I asked him if they could please just listen to what Mom was worried about and reassure her that she all she has to do it tell us and we will fix whatever it is. She's going to spend the next few days worry about her stuff. We talked a little bit about it today and I told her we could store what she didn't have room for and really wanted to hang on to. Bill said he'd go scout out storage places. And Polly will handle all of the details.
I think it's all fine and I think it's going to work out and I think it's all for the best (not the staff issues). It's probably even good that I am so busy at work that I don't have time to even do anything but the minimal.
But, man, I tell you, if there was a cigarette anywhere near me, I'd smoke it right now.
I called Mom this morning as usual and she answered before the first ring was finished. She told me that the head nurse told her yesterday that she was not going to let Mom go back to her apartment - ever. Mom was beside herself. She asked me to find out what was going on.
I call Mom when I get off the bus and we chat while I walk the 10 mins to my office. I went into the office and turned on the computer and it was like I opened a trash bag. My inbasket was full of crap - and I left work on Wednesday with a nice load of Stuff That Has To Be Done On Thursday.
So I hook the phone on my shoulder and start punching in nums while I start on the email. I left a message for the head nurse. I waited 30 minutes and left a message for the executive director of the place. I waited another hour and a half and called the nursing station and asked the person there to find the fucking head nurse and tell her to call me NOW.
I doused some of the email fires. I fixed yesterday's problems. I organized tomorrow's. The head nurse called me. She did not make me happy. She said that she never told mother that but the reality is that it is true. And that Mom needs to move into assisted living right away. She also told me that 'the family' had been informed and that we were all in agreement. I knew we had a problem.
I she had already talked to Mom this morning and told her she was going into assisted living. So I called Mom back. We talked about options - hiring someone to come live with her, hiring someone to check up on her every day, moving into assisted living. Mom said she wanted time to think about everything and I said I would get her whatever time she needed.
I hung up and called the executive director back - this is a nice lady - Sarah and I was able to lay out for her the problem as I saw it. Her staff does not communicate well. Her social worker does not communicate with me at all. Her head nurse is making Mom very sad and scared and a little bit threatened. And I was not happy.
I told her that if everyone got with the program and quit telling Mom what to do, in a day or two she will come to the decision on her own that it is time to give up the apartment. She said she would talk to everyone, Mom included.
I gave it about 3 hours. I called Mom back and Mom said that she had decided to give up the apartment and she swore to me that she was fine about it. We talked about options and what will happen to her stuff and how it's all going to happen and she seemed ok. She finally admitted to me that she was not ready to go back to the apartment and she probably never will be.
My bother and Trey are going up there tomorrow. They still have Mom's car and had planned to return it anyway. So it is good they are going. I just got off the phone with Bill. I asked him if they could please just listen to what Mom was worried about and reassure her that she all she has to do it tell us and we will fix whatever it is. She's going to spend the next few days worry about her stuff. We talked a little bit about it today and I told her we could store what she didn't have room for and really wanted to hang on to. Bill said he'd go scout out storage places. And Polly will handle all of the details.
I think it's all fine and I think it's going to work out and I think it's all for the best (not the staff issues). It's probably even good that I am so busy at work that I don't have time to even do anything but the minimal.
But, man, I tell you, if there was a cigarette anywhere near me, I'd smoke it right now.