Mom

[susandennis]

The news isn't good. Mom is not doing well at all. And Theresa, who's now the boss of her since she's back in her room, is not at all encouraged.

I called Mom's room this morning and Theresa answered... Theresa who does not work weekends... She took the phone out to the hallway to talk. Mom is very confused and easily agitated and not eating. She does not seem to be in pain but is clearly not taking in enough oxygen and can't respond normally to simple questions. They have her up and walking a step or two and moving around a little which seems to help.

But, Theresa was trying in every way but directly to prepare me and to tell me to prepare everyone else for what may well be the end and it may be soon. I assured her that my siblings and I did not agree on much but we are all in agreement that unless she could be happy and pain free, we are willing to let her go. We only ask for honest assessments. We are prepared.

After I hung up I sent a note to my sister and brother and his wife. My sister wrote back that she had called, apparently, just after I did and got the same story from Theresa and told her the same thing. So at lease we have that. (My brother and sister-in-law are both active hospice volunteers and I know for sure how they feel... )

Mom is in the best hands possible and getting the very best care. And I'm choosing to think of good things instead of sad ones. And here is a picture of a group of very good things that make me smile every time my eyes graze past. They sit beside the television in the living room on the media cabinet.

• The marbles in the basket are actually marbles I won from my cousin when we were little and shot marbles in the driveway in the Summer when I visited him in Oklahoma.
• The cat is stuffed painted canvas that I have had for a long time and have no clue where it came from but I like it.
• The green glass is a beautiful piece that my friends, Kieran and Alan, gave me last weekend. I think of it as a redecorating trophy!
• The avocado seed growing dish just makes me happy and its current seed is doing nicely.
• The cup below it was my paternal grandfather's when he was a boy in Germany.
• The little water color was done by a friend and is of a jacket that I bought when we were together. I love the jacket and I love the painting.
• And the ashtray, from a hotel in London, is full of coins from other countries.

All there together... It makes me realize how very lucky I am to have had and to have all that I do. That makes me smile.