On being the straight girl

[susandennis]

I have lived all of my life as a straight girl in a world of privilege. Except for the years when I longed to be a size 2, I have never known hunger. I have never been homeless. My parents paid for my college education and gave me $500 upon graduation and it's been me for me ever since. I have not only a home and an income but unearned entitlement because I am also white and straight.

The former you can tell by looking at me. The latter is a little less obvious to the eye. I've never known what it was like to not be the default in terms of what kind of people I am attracted to sexually. I've never had anyone try to persuade me to bat for the other side (well, during the whole Ellen thing, I did have friends who wanted to turn me in for a toaster oven, but I think that was more an appliance issue than one of sexual orientation). The closest I've ever come to hearing a slur on my sexual orientation is being referenced as a breeder. And, since I am not, really, a breeder, I ignore it. But, that's a luxury I have.

I live in a place and matriculate in a nice little cocoon that prevents me from having to hear much in the way of offensive language or sentiments targeted at those who's sexual orientation is not your basic het. I know it happens. It happens here. Physical as well as verbal abuse seeps into my world occasionally and it makes me sad and mad.

But, what really makes me want to do something is not the obvious. It's the sly. It's the assumption that homosexuality is wrong. It's the acceptance that homosexuality is fair game and a rightful target. It's everything that makes a basic het breeder the default.

I don't know what to do about it. I challenge when it lands in my face or even off to the side. I write letters. (I once wrote a letter to In The Life - the TV show - and I got a lovely thankful reply asking me to send a copy to my local PBS station. So I did - to both of them. I have now heard that same letter read - my letter! - locally and nationally about a bazillion times. I just heard it again during the last pledge drive.) I sign petitions. I wear buttons. I'd wear a t-shirt if I had one. I have one bumper sticker on my car - it's the graphic at the end of this entry. But none of that ever seems to effective or enough.

This morning's paper carried a column about a newspaper ad campaign for Coming Out day. Part of me is delighted at the effort but the rest of me is very sad that even here in Seattle, even here in 2005, not only is an ad campaign like this being done, but it's needed and it's so remarkable that it's worth a newspaper column because it is so man-bites-dog.

I actually thought that I might - by creating this entry - come to some fine, grand conclusion or even answer but here I am at the end and I got nothing. It's not fair.