Whew... what a day
Oct. 23rd, 2005 04:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
susandennisWell, I think I've fast tracked through the stages of grief. I was stunned for a while. And then I was pissed at being abandoned by my friend. And then I was so incredibly sad. Sadder than I can remember being in a long long time.
And now I'm probably more grateful than anything else. I'm glad he didn't suffer. He would have hated drama - any medical drama would have made him really not happy. He skipped all that. He left on top. He went out as he lived as his own man. By himself. On his own. I'm grateful and I'm envious and hope the same for me.
Independent of his sister, I got an email from his brother telling me the news - complete with clinical details... hemochromatosis.
He also asked me if I knew John's friends, Dick and Sue. He said he'd never known their last names or where they were. If I did know would I contact them. I did know Dick and Sue. I hired Dick into IBM and introduced him to Sue and they've been married now for, gosh, I guess a dozen years now. But, I'd totally lost track. They used to live in Palo Alto but they were not in information.
I looked up a few more names and kept hitting roadblocks. Finally, I found a woman we all (Dick, Sue, John and the others we worked and played with when we were all in Northern California), knew. I found an organization where she is a board member and figured I could contact them tomorrow and get a message to her. But, then miraculously, I discovered that one of the few things I did not toss out was an old address book that included her phone number. It was so old the area code was wrong but the number was right. Two rings and I was talking to her for the first time in at least a dozen years - she sounded just like herself. She knew where everyone was (Dick and Sue are now in Nevada) and had email addresses. So she sent out a note.
I spent a lot of today swapping notes with the people on her list. I've only heard from a few so far. Most of the email addresses were work ones. I suspect I'll hear from the rest tomorrow.
And now a thank you. Often when one of my LJ friends has trauma or drama or is just down, I can't think of anything to say except what everyone else does or just I'm sorry or I'm thinking of them and it always seems so lame and sometimes I don't even leave a comment thinking no comment is better than a dumb one.
Warning. This will never happen again. I know now just how valuable a simple 'I'm sorry' can be. All day, in between notes and crying jags and phone calls, your wishes and thoughts and simple sympathy meant more than I could ever have imagined. Thank you. I'm sorry for all the times I didn't tell you that I was sorry. It will not happen again. Friends are the best and thank you very very much.
And now I'm probably more grateful than anything else. I'm glad he didn't suffer. He would have hated drama - any medical drama would have made him really not happy. He skipped all that. He left on top. He went out as he lived as his own man. By himself. On his own. I'm grateful and I'm envious and hope the same for me.
Independent of his sister, I got an email from his brother telling me the news - complete with clinical details... hemochromatosis.
He also asked me if I knew John's friends, Dick and Sue. He said he'd never known their last names or where they were. If I did know would I contact them. I did know Dick and Sue. I hired Dick into IBM and introduced him to Sue and they've been married now for, gosh, I guess a dozen years now. But, I'd totally lost track. They used to live in Palo Alto but they were not in information.
I looked up a few more names and kept hitting roadblocks. Finally, I found a woman we all (Dick, Sue, John and the others we worked and played with when we were all in Northern California), knew. I found an organization where she is a board member and figured I could contact them tomorrow and get a message to her. But, then miraculously, I discovered that one of the few things I did not toss out was an old address book that included her phone number. It was so old the area code was wrong but the number was right. Two rings and I was talking to her for the first time in at least a dozen years - she sounded just like herself. She knew where everyone was (Dick and Sue are now in Nevada) and had email addresses. So she sent out a note.
I spent a lot of today swapping notes with the people on her list. I've only heard from a few so far. Most of the email addresses were work ones. I suspect I'll hear from the rest tomorrow.
And now a thank you. Often when one of my LJ friends has trauma or drama or is just down, I can't think of anything to say except what everyone else does or just I'm sorry or I'm thinking of them and it always seems so lame and sometimes I don't even leave a comment thinking no comment is better than a dumb one.
Warning. This will never happen again. I know now just how valuable a simple 'I'm sorry' can be. All day, in between notes and crying jags and phone calls, your wishes and thoughts and simple sympathy meant more than I could ever have imagined. Thank you. I'm sorry for all the times I didn't tell you that I was sorry. It will not happen again. Friends are the best and thank you very very much.
