Were you ever that young?
Feb. 28th, 2006 09:28 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
susandennisSometimes I am just whacked with the memory of a feeling from when I was little.
I remember hating the guy they shot out of a cannon at the circus. I hated it so much that I dreaded the circus that Daddy took us to every year.
I remember westerns on TV. Someone was always getting swallowed up by quicksand. I had a dread fear of quicksand. I never ever heard of it or saw it outside of those westerns but today, the idea of quicksand is still not terribly appealing.
I remember the allure of my own space - a tent made of of blankets across the twin beds, a refrigerator box to play in. The feeling that I got when I was in a space like that was amazingly wonderful. And it was so powerful that I can conjure it up today with very little effort.
I remember once I wanted sandals. I was younger than 6 (because we still lived in Kansas City). I was told I could not have sandals. So I made some for myself out of cardboard and a rag that had been a pillowcase. I thought my parents would be angry that I had stolen the scissors and the rag and the cardboard from places where I wasn't allowed. But they were amazed at my creativity and execution. It felt amazingly wonderful and I remember it so vividly that I can tell you what I was wearing at the time.
I can remember nearly every single report card day. My grades sucked and for two days before and two days after I felt like so much pond scum - a disappointment to everyone on the face of the earth. In my adulthood, I have managed to create a world where I rarely feel like that any more but it does not take much for me to remember those feelings exactly.
I remember being short - kid short. So short that I have vivid memories of studying the skirt hems of women and the socks of men and wondering what it would be like to look at the top of kids' heads.
And I have no idea why all of this is front of mind this morning.
I remember hating the guy they shot out of a cannon at the circus. I hated it so much that I dreaded the circus that Daddy took us to every year.
I remember westerns on TV. Someone was always getting swallowed up by quicksand. I had a dread fear of quicksand. I never ever heard of it or saw it outside of those westerns but today, the idea of quicksand is still not terribly appealing.
I remember the allure of my own space - a tent made of of blankets across the twin beds, a refrigerator box to play in. The feeling that I got when I was in a space like that was amazingly wonderful. And it was so powerful that I can conjure it up today with very little effort.
I remember once I wanted sandals. I was younger than 6 (because we still lived in Kansas City). I was told I could not have sandals. So I made some for myself out of cardboard and a rag that had been a pillowcase. I thought my parents would be angry that I had stolen the scissors and the rag and the cardboard from places where I wasn't allowed. But they were amazed at my creativity and execution. It felt amazingly wonderful and I remember it so vividly that I can tell you what I was wearing at the time.
I can remember nearly every single report card day. My grades sucked and for two days before and two days after I felt like so much pond scum - a disappointment to everyone on the face of the earth. In my adulthood, I have managed to create a world where I rarely feel like that any more but it does not take much for me to remember those feelings exactly.
I remember being short - kid short. So short that I have vivid memories of studying the skirt hems of women and the socks of men and wondering what it would be like to look at the top of kids' heads.
And I have no idea why all of this is front of mind this morning.
