What's the opposite of a poker face?
Sep. 7th, 2007 04:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
susandennisI remember my Mother's tone when she said - which she did often - 'wipe that look off your face!'
At IBM once I had a manager who was blind. I loved John (and I still hear from him every Christmas). He taught me so much and did so much for me. I learned early on what fun it was to sit in his office talking to him and make whatever faces I wanted. If he said something I didn't agree with I could stick out my tongue with no penalty. Or screw up my face in disgust or shock or dismay or whatever. Didn't matter. No harm, no foul.
Until the reorg and I got a new manager. The next manager was a great guy too but he had 20/20 vision and I had spent a good year developing my habit of amusing myself with facial reactions. It was pretty funny. It actually got to be our joke. I would not even know I was making a face until I would hear him say 'I'm not John.' It was really hard to break myself of the habit. Really hard.
Today I realized that John is back in my face. For two years, I have worked here by my self on my own with no one looking at my face. Because I routinely respond out loud to things like stupid emails - a well earned 'bite me' can soften the blow of many a stupid email - I did not realize my face was working, too.
I had to go into the office to install some software. It was hot in there. I was ready to go home and, of course, I couldn't get connected to the network and then the software fucked up and then my computer fucked up and a whole string of etc's. Nothing I couldn't fix on my own but the bookkeeper kept looking over and then saying to the IT guy 'oh, Susan looks like she needs help' or to me 'Are you ok?' and finally 'why don't you let someone help you?' And, of course, every time she would say this everyone would turn and look (the current HQ is one large room). I finally just had to admit out loud that I was no longer equipped to work around other human beings - at least ones who could see!
I did have a really nice lunch with some of my co workers and I learned that HQ is moving - next door - to a giant space. It's going to be very nice. I'm glad for them. And, next time I have to go in, there are several places I can squirrel away and not be seen while I work!
At IBM once I had a manager who was blind. I loved John (and I still hear from him every Christmas). He taught me so much and did so much for me. I learned early on what fun it was to sit in his office talking to him and make whatever faces I wanted. If he said something I didn't agree with I could stick out my tongue with no penalty. Or screw up my face in disgust or shock or dismay or whatever. Didn't matter. No harm, no foul.
Until the reorg and I got a new manager. The next manager was a great guy too but he had 20/20 vision and I had spent a good year developing my habit of amusing myself with facial reactions. It was pretty funny. It actually got to be our joke. I would not even know I was making a face until I would hear him say 'I'm not John.' It was really hard to break myself of the habit. Really hard.
Today I realized that John is back in my face. For two years, I have worked here by my self on my own with no one looking at my face. Because I routinely respond out loud to things like stupid emails - a well earned 'bite me' can soften the blow of many a stupid email - I did not realize my face was working, too.
I had to go into the office to install some software. It was hot in there. I was ready to go home and, of course, I couldn't get connected to the network and then the software fucked up and then my computer fucked up and a whole string of etc's. Nothing I couldn't fix on my own but the bookkeeper kept looking over and then saying to the IT guy 'oh, Susan looks like she needs help' or to me 'Are you ok?' and finally 'why don't you let someone help you?' And, of course, every time she would say this everyone would turn and look (the current HQ is one large room). I finally just had to admit out loud that I was no longer equipped to work around other human beings - at least ones who could see!
I did have a really nice lunch with some of my co workers and I learned that HQ is moving - next door - to a giant space. It's going to be very nice. I'm glad for them. And, next time I have to go in, there are several places I can squirrel away and not be seen while I work!
