Time to shit or cut bait

[susandennis]

Dana's ready to go home and is getting everything in place so she can leave on Friday. There is some doubt as to how Mom is going to get along on her own. Mom says 'no sweat'. Dana says '??????'

So Dana's getting the doctor's office to put all of his instructions in writing and she's going to turn that over to the social worker there at 'the home'. They will keep an eye on Mom and if they think she's ready to go into assisted living they will talk to her and talk to me and the three of us will decide and two out of three wins. (I've had this discussion with Mom a gazillion times, she knows the poop.)

I'm seriously thinking that Mom is ready to go into assisted living but not ready to say 'let's do it' so she is, maybe even unconsciously, arranging things so she won't have to make that decision.

My brother and even my sister - amazingly - and Dana all agree. (As I emailed my brother tonight - it's the only thing the three of us have ever agreed on - Daddy must be shittin' in his ashes.) So Friday she goes home and we see what happens.

Comments

[thegreggory.livejournal.com]

I'm sure you don't need to hear this. But what the heck.

When the time comes be very careful where to put her. I know family that recently put mom into what they thought was assisted living, turns out it was a retirement community.

Big difference.

On the upside my grandmother has been in assisted living for 5 years maybe more, she seems to like it.

Course all the other residents are jealous, because her family actually visits, often.

[susandennis]

Oh I appreciate your thoughts! I really do. But, Mom's already there. She and Daddy picked out this place years ago. It's a combo place. Independant homes and apartments, assisted living room and dependant care units - all in the same place under the same management. She loves it. She's now living in the independant living apartments. Her move would be essentially, just down the hall. With more people to look after her.

[rsc.livejournal.com]

Oh, yes, those places are wonderful (I suppose some of them are less wonderful, but my experience is limited). My parents have lived in one in Philadelphia since '95. They're still in Independent, although my mother was in Skilled Nursing for about 6 months a couple of years ago. It was really handy for my father to be able to live at home and still just walk over to spend time with her just about any time at all.

[susandennis]

You are so right. Actually, my parents got the idea from my Mom's parents. They moved into one right when Grandpa retired. They first lived in a cottage and then in assisted care and then when Grandpa turned into a broccoli he moved into the nursing wing. Grandma stopped by to visit with him every night on the way to dinner. They lived at that place for more than 25 years and were so grateful for it.

[katbyte.livejournal.com]

My best friend's mom here was in the same exact situation. Part Assisted living, part independent.

Giving up your independence is very hard. All you can hope for is the transition will be as painless for your mom as possible.

We will probably get some good stories from this. I hope she is happy with any decisions you all make.

[pinkrose70.livejournal.com]

Hey, as long as your Mom can still go down to have dinner if she feels like it, and visit with her friends....having a bit of an "assist" may be a comfort.