The future of my stuff
Oct. 11th, 2004 07:39 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
susandennisWell, not my stuff... my Mom's stuff.
My mother's father had a sister - Fanny. Ok, we'll pause here for the giggles. Aunt Fanny was a piece of work outside her name. Aren't you finished giggling yet? Ok, so will it help if I tell you that the name her husband when by from the time he was 4 until he died at age 85 was Trigger or Trig. Yep, Aunt Fanny and Uncle Trig. Not making this up. But, it will not surprise you to learn the were in the Texas branch of the family.
Ok, back on track here. Fanny and Trig had no kids (sometimes god's ways aren't so mysterious). And they had a lot of stuff. At some point Fanny decided to devote her remaining years to the future dispensation of that stuff. Keep in mind she had no intention of any of it leaving her possession while she still had a breath. And, you should also know, that all of it - every single thing - was old lady stuff. I mean the cost of having someone haul it off was the real life concern here.
About every couple of months Mom would get a letter from Fanny about her stuff. She would ask Mom for a list of the stuff she wanted (of Fanny's) and include a list of what the other nieces and nephews had claimed so far. If Mom did not respond immediately Fanny would call Long Distance. Person to Person. (I do believe that Fanny may well have made the last Person to Person call in the U.S.) Keep in mind, at this stage in her life, Mom had grown children, two houses full of lovely things of her own and lived 1,500 miles from Fanny.
The trick with Aunt Fanny was - there were only wrong answers.
If Mom indicated an item that she wanted, Fanny would then launch into why another niece or nephew deserved that item more. And there was nothing - absolutely nothing - more insulting and offensive to Aunt Fanny than to tell her you didn't want any of her shit.
What To Do About Fanny's Things was a a family joke.
And now, Mom has turned into Aunt Fanny. She had Polly call all three of us this weekend and request a list of the stuff we wanted. My brother has already taken what he wanted (Dad's jewelery and the booze from the kitchen). All I want is Mom to get all settled in and the apartment to be emptied. My sister would love to have every single thing shipped to her (at Mother's expense).
Mom started in about the stuff this morning. She is getting whiny about all the stuff my sister wants. I think she's pretty insulted that I don't want anything and she's a little annoyed that I told Bill to take the booze last weekend.
I think I've hit another patch of Low Mom Patience. I want this all to be over with. I'm tired of fucking with it. And I want my sister to vaporize. Now. Please.
But, to close of the story of Aunt Fanny and Uncle Trig.... When they finally did die - within weeks of each other, someone sent Mom some stuff - a really ugly lamp and some other stuff that my sister grabbed up gleefully. And she left my Mom some cash. My sister tried hard to get Mom to donate the money to starving children in Africa or something but Mom held strong.
She took Aunt Fanny's cash and donated it to a plastic surgeon in return for a face lift.
My mother's father had a sister - Fanny. Ok, we'll pause here for the giggles. Aunt Fanny was a piece of work outside her name. Aren't you finished giggling yet? Ok, so will it help if I tell you that the name her husband when by from the time he was 4 until he died at age 85 was Trigger or Trig. Yep, Aunt Fanny and Uncle Trig. Not making this up. But, it will not surprise you to learn the were in the Texas branch of the family.
Ok, back on track here. Fanny and Trig had no kids (sometimes god's ways aren't so mysterious). And they had a lot of stuff. At some point Fanny decided to devote her remaining years to the future dispensation of that stuff. Keep in mind she had no intention of any of it leaving her possession while she still had a breath. And, you should also know, that all of it - every single thing - was old lady stuff. I mean the cost of having someone haul it off was the real life concern here.
About every couple of months Mom would get a letter from Fanny about her stuff. She would ask Mom for a list of the stuff she wanted (of Fanny's) and include a list of what the other nieces and nephews had claimed so far. If Mom did not respond immediately Fanny would call Long Distance. Person to Person. (I do believe that Fanny may well have made the last Person to Person call in the U.S.) Keep in mind, at this stage in her life, Mom had grown children, two houses full of lovely things of her own and lived 1,500 miles from Fanny.
The trick with Aunt Fanny was - there were only wrong answers.
If Mom indicated an item that she wanted, Fanny would then launch into why another niece or nephew deserved that item more. And there was nothing - absolutely nothing - more insulting and offensive to Aunt Fanny than to tell her you didn't want any of her shit.
What To Do About Fanny's Things was a a family joke.
And now, Mom has turned into Aunt Fanny. She had Polly call all three of us this weekend and request a list of the stuff we wanted. My brother has already taken what he wanted (Dad's jewelery and the booze from the kitchen). All I want is Mom to get all settled in and the apartment to be emptied. My sister would love to have every single thing shipped to her (at Mother's expense).
Mom started in about the stuff this morning. She is getting whiny about all the stuff my sister wants. I think she's pretty insulted that I don't want anything and she's a little annoyed that I told Bill to take the booze last weekend.
I think I've hit another patch of Low Mom Patience. I want this all to be over with. I'm tired of fucking with it. And I want my sister to vaporize. Now. Please.
But, to close of the story of Aunt Fanny and Uncle Trig.... When they finally did die - within weeks of each other, someone sent Mom some stuff - a really ugly lamp and some other stuff that my sister grabbed up gleefully. And she left my Mom some cash. My sister tried hard to get Mom to donate the money to starving children in Africa or something but Mom held strong.
She took Aunt Fanny's cash and donated it to a plastic surgeon in return for a face lift.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-11 07:45 am (UTC)As to Aunt Fanny ...to be very English about it, be thankful she didn't marry a Richard *g*
(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-11 08:09 am (UTC)And yes, if my sister was gone, my stress level would be cut in half or more. As far as I'm concerned she is my punishment for some horrible thing I have done or maybe the accummulation of horrible things. ARUGH!
(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-11 07:50 am (UTC)Fanny, from Assonet
A FACE LIFT! I love it.
I am pooling all my resources and let my brother know it is all his. Since he is 15 years younger he might do me favors in order to see that he gets the house and contents.
Have already prepared for the inevitable and gotten rid of those embarrassing polaroids from the 70's... I will say no more. I can drop dead knowing my underwear drawer is full of lovely but not too kinky undies and socks, all who have mates!
(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-11 08:13 am (UTC)My will leaves everything to my sister. My brother requested that. He gets the outright cash (he's the beneficiary listed on all my investments). She is the one who's going to have to wade through the shit and deal with it. Ha! And, frankly, I'll be way dead and so I really really really don't care. (She does believe that I am worth about 10 times what I actually am and that all of that will be hers... So there will be a fairly large post mortem smirk.)
(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-11 09:57 am (UTC)Don't you think we should pool together to send Joy some kinky undies to put in her drawer? *evilgrin*
(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-11 10:16 am (UTC)It would be fun to slip a thong into Joy's underwear drawer, wouldn't it?
(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-11 03:57 pm (UTC)Oh good, I wouldn't want poor Betty and Jake to suffer with the sibling from hell.
I have one of those too, but I have 4 others that are a good buffer between us.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-11 04:27 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-11 04:26 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-11 09:54 am (UTC)Maybe I could try the Richard Chamberlain album ruse myself... I like it.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-11 10:05 am (UTC)She told us how she wanted a few things given to special people, which we all (except my sister did)
The rest was inherited by the three of us with my uncle as executor in case of any arguments. There were none. Nice things, but nothing major.
My husband is an only child. His mother had a trust and when she went into a nursing home, the trust sold everything that hubby did not want. They sold the whole house full for next to nothing,including the house, but that was her wish. They asked us one time back in the 80s if we wanted the house, and our answer was no!! The trust has taken very good care of their money and there was more left than I thought after 10 years in a nursing home. Most went to the granddaughter, for whatever reason.
Anyway, good luck with all this. Do you think your sister deserves your house? I wouldn't leave my sister my part of the house. I am leaving it to my stepdaughter.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-11 10:14 am (UTC)I am the executor of Mom's stuff after she dies. It's all left of us equally but if I'm around when Mom dies, I'd be really surprised if my sister's portion turns out to be quite as equal as my brother's and mine... Estates are very complicated, you know... :)
(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-11 10:57 am (UTC)It's not that I really care what happens to all this stuff after I die, It's just that I don't want to live the rest of my life knowing my sister will inherit it.
Most of my mom's stuff we were going to sell in a garage sale, but I couldn't do it, so gave it to charity. She would have liked that better anyway.
Don't executors receive a certain percentage? My uncle waived his. I think the change was something he didn't want to carry around, lol.
Anyway, I wish for you what I wished for my mom, and myself.
May you die with a smile on your face and a nickle in your pocket.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-11 04:24 pm (UTC)This is my favorite part:
"My brother has already taken what he wanted (Dad's jewelery and the booze from the kitchen). All I want is Mom to get all settled in and the apartment to be emptied. My sister would love to have every single thing shipped to her (at Mother's expense)"
Gotta love the Booze part! Was it a big collection from your Dad?
I've wondered a bit, if your Mom has felt well enough to attend the Dinner and Bar area at the Residence?
My Mom and Step-Dad, who departed us in 2000..had already stipulated in their Wills that there will be NO arguing, and no protestation after they both are gone (my Mom is 72 and very much alive) else we will receive NOTHING.
It should be interesting for my family, though...because after a closeness of 30 years with the "steps"...since the day my step-father died, who btw, was WONDERFUL, my Mom, nor any of the rest of us have heard ONE word from any of them. Kinda sad, really....but, I guess all those years since Mom married their Dad was superficial?
I'm across the country, but from the bits and pieces that I have found out, it involved money, and trying to get at some accounts that are still in probate, until my Mom is deceased.
Ah, nothing like a battle over material goods. Years ago, when my Mom and Step-Dad asked me if there was anything I would like while they were drawing up the Will, I told them NO, and that I didn't want to even think about that type of thing.
Silly me, that was in the late 70's. I have no idea, what's in store for later, but apparently the "steps" probed.
Anyway, Susan...I do love hearing about your own sister and
her "ways!"
(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-11 04:57 pm (UTC)And, yeah, the booze collection is substantial. My father's main avocation was drinking and Mom held her own. And, it keeps nicely.
Mom can't quite make it to the bar any more. But, the bar tender came by to see her yesterday and, she says, he's been by a couple of other times. So that's fun. He's about 24 and terminally cute.