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susandennisMy call with Mom was better today. I was better about it. One trick I discovered is that whenever possible, when she asks the same question she did yesterday, to see if I can answer differently giving the same information.
Today it paid off big time. She has enough money to live on and, besides, her contract with 'the home' says that even if she runs out they have to provide her complete and total services until she dies. And, I don't want her to feel financially pinched in any way and I want her to feel like she can spend her money any way she chooses. All of her bills are paid by the trust department at the bank. And a lot of the bills (one offs) from the move, got sent there to be paid as well.
Yesterday she asked me why that was. "Why are you sending all my bills there instead of letting me just write a check?" The real answer is "because you will forget to write the check or forget to mail it or write two checks and forget to mail them... etc." What I said was "Because the bank keeps all the records and it's way easier just to have them do it."
Today we had the same question again so I tried a different answer. "Because I want you to have your own money to spend the way you want to without having to worry about saving it to pay bills. Bills are paid out of the trust. Your own money is to spend on whatever you fancy."
BINGO! Turns out she wanted to donate money to an employee fund at 'the home' and give some to the church but didn't want know if she needed the checking account money for something else.
This is why I do it. This is what I want out of it. No one else on the face of the earth can give her what I can. And it makes me feel good to be able to do it. I need to remember that next time I get an attack like Sunday's. She was so happy to learn that she could give the donations she wanted to.
Work should be fun this week. The website I've been working on goes 'live' on Thursday. As soon as I post this, I'm going to do an audit of every single page - what's missing and who needs to provide it. I'm about 3 days ahead of schedule and pretty darned proud of that.
Today it paid off big time. She has enough money to live on and, besides, her contract with 'the home' says that even if she runs out they have to provide her complete and total services until she dies. And, I don't want her to feel financially pinched in any way and I want her to feel like she can spend her money any way she chooses. All of her bills are paid by the trust department at the bank. And a lot of the bills (one offs) from the move, got sent there to be paid as well.
Yesterday she asked me why that was. "Why are you sending all my bills there instead of letting me just write a check?" The real answer is "because you will forget to write the check or forget to mail it or write two checks and forget to mail them... etc." What I said was "Because the bank keeps all the records and it's way easier just to have them do it."
Today we had the same question again so I tried a different answer. "Because I want you to have your own money to spend the way you want to without having to worry about saving it to pay bills. Bills are paid out of the trust. Your own money is to spend on whatever you fancy."
BINGO! Turns out she wanted to donate money to an employee fund at 'the home' and give some to the church but didn't want know if she needed the checking account money for something else.
This is why I do it. This is what I want out of it. No one else on the face of the earth can give her what I can. And it makes me feel good to be able to do it. I need to remember that next time I get an attack like Sunday's. She was so happy to learn that she could give the donations she wanted to.
Work should be fun this week. The website I've been working on goes 'live' on Thursday. As soon as I post this, I'm going to do an audit of every single page - what's missing and who needs to provide it. I'm about 3 days ahead of schedule and pretty darned proud of that.
True
Date: 2004-10-25 09:38 am (UTC)Re: True
Date: 2004-10-25 10:19 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-25 11:44 am (UTC)