Man Dates

[susandennis]

This morning I read a story that amazed me (amazed that it was in our paper) and then annoyed me and then pissed me off so I wrote to the editor.

Here's the story: Man Dates

Here's my email:

-----Original Message-----
From: Susan Dennis [mailto:susandennis@gmail.com]
Sent: Tuesday, April 12, 2005 2:09 PM
To: features@seattlepi.com
Subject: Man Dates - give me a break

I don't know that I have ever been as offended by anything I've read in the
P-I as I was by your printing of this NYTimes article. One of the things I
like best about Seattle is that I can go about my daily life without -
usually - having my face rubbed in the homophobia that grips the rest of the
nation. Wrongo today. This morning I was slapped in the face by your 'oh
my god, they might be gay and how horrible would that be' stupid article.

Shame on you for running it and shame on you for obviously planning to run
your own homophobic Seattle version with your not at all cute little request
for man date stories.

--
susan dennis
seattle, wa
http://susandennis.com

Here's the email from Stephanie (who didn't bother to sign it and who's name I only found when looking up the actual bits behind the email itself.)

From: Features <features@seattlepi.com>
Sender: "Reid-Simons, Stephanie" <stephaniereid-simons@seattlepi.com>
To: 'Susan Dennis' <susandennis@gmail.com>
Subject: RE: Man Dates - give me a break
Date: Tue, 12 Apr 2005 14:56:41 -0700

As the editor who chose to put the story in the paper, I can tell you I am
honestly surprised that you consider its mere presence such an offense. I'm
gay myself, and considered it an illuminating view of the ways people
interact.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Comments

[thegreggory.livejournal.com]

I find it sad two guys can not spend time together in a nonsexual way and someone feels the need to come up with a name for it.

screwy what this world is coming to.

[susandennis]

very screwy and silly.

[slinkr.livejournal.com]

I thought that the article was more about homophobia than homophobic. The straight guys are made to look pretty ridiculous.

[susandennis]

Interesting... yes, the straight guys do look ridiculous but having been a newspaper reporter, I know how perfectly resonable people can be made to look foolish easily so I'm still more unhappy with the newspaper - NYTimes and the PI.

[geordie.livejournal.com]

Now that's something one wouldn't want to admit lightly.

[fj.livejournal.com]

You make sense that this article plays into institutionalised homophobia by legitimizing these feelings of utter discomfort by, for example, not providing a context of utterly strange historically this state of male intimacy is. The article doesn't realize it, and neither does the editor

[geordie.livejournal.com]

But isn't it just the norm to make men out as fools? Just count the number of adverts shown in an evening that make men look foolish or stupid and similarly for women. Well unless something changed in the six months I've been avoiding all tv adverts. I do know one advert that makes a woman look stupid, but only one comes to mind. But then maybe I'm just not very observant when it's someone else being insulted?

[katbyte.livejournal.com]

To over use a cliche, "Must have been a slow news day"

I thought it was a boring article to begin with and the subject just sucked.

Good for you.

[quirkstreet.livejournal.com]

Well, bless you for being concerned and for speaking up. I have to say, this is the kind of thing where I've wound up in the camp of "I'm just sad for how limited some straight guys' lives are due to fear." I've got some straight male friends who don't mind going out with each other or even with me ... including guys who know I think they're pretty fabulous and would be interested if it weren't for the fact that they're totally hetero and fabulous that way. It's interesting to me that those men almost always seem to be the best adjusted and to have the best relationships with the women in their lives as well.

[geordie.livejournal.com]

As I commented, confused sexuality.

[jawnbc]

There be some dumb, vapid, queers too ya know. And a lot of them have learned how to type...

[geordie.livejournal.com]

I could understand some people having some insecurities in this area, but I think this article is more invention than fact.

I don't like the article.

It sounds more like an article about people of confused or questionable sexuality. Or an article written by someone who actually has no idea what life as a man is about. Ah, it's written by a woman, well no wonder she doesn't know anything about it.

I've had dinner with gay friends, I got to lunch or dinner with men, I go to the movies with men. Unless your body language is saying "this is a potential partner for me" why would anyone look twice?

Perhaps someone has been winding her up? Telling her tall stories.

Even when I go out with my gay male friends there's no homoeroticism. It's not like we go to gay strip joints.

Would I go to see a romantic movie with a guy? Not if I could avoid it. Would I go to a romantic film on my own? Not if I could avoid it. Do I spend good money on romantic movies... only with women I suppose and only every other time, when it's her turn to choose.

The thing that irritates me about the article is that yet again men are portrayed as weak, pathetic and foolish.

Stupid article.

[fj.livejournal.com]

It's about to beceom a discussable submission on Plastic (http://www.plastic.com) if we didn't vote it into oblivion first for being so dumb.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Well it is a good illustration of how pathetic some people can be.

[treebreeze.livejournal.com]

Thank you for taking them to task Susan.

Your word has so much more weight than say if I as a gay man had tried to call them on it.

I am glad to have you out there. It gives me faith in my fellow humans.

[rsc.livejournal.com]

I can't decide whether the article is intended to expose -- and gently mock -- the homophobic attitudes of some set of straight men, or whether the author shares it. I'd be more convinced that she didn't share it if the mockery was a little less gentle. I have no idea who the target audience is supposed to be.