I'm not sayin my way is better...

[susandennis]

I got married when I was 30 years old.  I had lived with my parents and I had lived on my own and I had learned how to do stuff.  Living stuff.  Like keeping house and having a job and just matriculating through life the way I had learned was best for me.

My husband was (and likely still is) way older than me (21 years to be exact) and he'd spent 1/3rd of his life living with is parents, 1/3rd living with an ex wife and 1/3rd living alone.  He also had figured out how to do things that worked for him.

Many, if not most, of our things were very different.  After tediously explaining his way, he'd always end with "I'm not sayin' my way is better..." which, of course, was exactly what he was saying. 

Probably needless to say, the marriage was not a huge success. Thankfully, it died quickly and quietly and now I've lived alone for 30 years.  

And the joy of it is that no one is here to tell me their way is better.  But that also could be a pothole.

How do I know there isn't a better way?  

My Mom told me once that living lone meant "you'll never have anyone tell you that your slip is showing before you leave the house".

Turns out she was right.  Yes, I have a mirror but no, I don't check it before I go out the door. And even if I do sometimes the angle is wrong.  And yes, I mean that metaphorically as well as not.

Random thoughts. Now interrupted by lunch.

Comments

[loganberrybunny.livejournal.com]

Random thoughts. Now interrupted by lunch.

That happens to me more often than the laws of probability would predict!

[anita-margarita.livejournal.com]

Not having to listen to passive-aggressive talk is better.

[susandennis]

ooohhhh score!

[mixter11nm.livejournal.com]

I think you are probably one of the happiest people I know. You know what you want, you know what you like and what you don't like. You don't do anything that annoys you and if you do, you look at it as a learning experience and move on from there.

[susandennis]

Ok, it's official. You are now my 'mirror'.

What lovely personal feedback. You describe the person I want to be. Wow. Thank you.

[brigitte lichtenberger (from livejournal.com)]

It's just like mixter11nm said. :)

[susandennis]

Thank you!!

[sea-weed.livejournal.com]

Your way works great for you, could it be any better? And I'm jealous you have sole possession of the remote controls!

[susandennis]

sole possession of the remote is, as you know, really high on my list of critical needs! :)

[sea-weed.livejournal.com]

It's absolutely critical for a person's happiness in my opinion. The nights I'm home alone with that remote are just heaven. :-)

[pisceandreamer.livejournal.com]

"you'll never have anyone tell you that your slip is showing before you leave the house".

That is why you have friends and mirrors.

My favorite part of singledom is not having to account for my actions to anyone else. While I do let my brother know what I'm up to, it is more on the level of "roomie courtesy" lest he be left standing around wondering if he needs to feed the dog or not rather than actually justifying my every move.

I'm not sure I could ever live with someone again. I think Katherine Hepburn had it right with her theory of just living next door to each other.

[catmomma.livejournal.com]

That is something I have not experienced, living alone. I do feel like I live alone a lot of the time though because Ben is so rarely here and I handle all the house stuff. It is like he visits to sleep here and leave his laundry. I got married when I was 24 but had lived with him since 21. I sometimes wish I had that opportunity to live on my own when I was young, go to a big college by myself etc. Just not how it worked out.