Lungs... again

[susandennis]

A year ago - almost exactly - I found out via a lovely little pneumonia that 40 years of smoking is indeed, hazardous to your health.  My lungs tested out at about half what they should have for my size and age.  It took me about 3 months to quit coughing and feel good again.

As if to celebrate the anniversary, the cough has now returned.  It's not horrible itself but the threat it poses is pretty nasty.  I don't have lungs enough to fight off much of anything infection wise.  I'm not wild about being sick but I am terrified of ending up chained to an oxygen tank and dependent on all the medical services that go along with that.

So now with every cough I stress - is it worse? than it was last hour/yesterday?  Should I go get some exercise or stay in an drink tea?  Am I turning into a hypochondriac?  If I just ignore it all, will it morph into those nights like last year when I lay awake all night gasping for air and/or into a straight shot to that oxygen tank?

Already, I hate the focus and worry that I'm doing now over it all.

Fortunately I don't have the added - to the doctor or not - stress.  I already have an appointment next Monday morning - a general checkup and I'm assuming I'll live until Monday.  

Comments

[xxloreleixx.livejournal.com]

That sounds like my mom the past couple days and she's never smoked a day in her life. I hope you feel better.

It's also great you quit smoking. I really want to.

[susandennis]

Quitting smoking is such a personal thing. I loved smoking and all that went with it - the social aspect as well as the ritual. But, then one day, after 40 years of it, I decided I didn't like it any more and I quit. It wasn't difficult to do. The time was right.

I spent many years knowing that the first thing I would do if a doctor ever told me I had a fatal disease, was go buy a carton and blissfully light up.

But, now, I have no desire, really. I still enjoy the occasional whiff of second hand smoke but no desire for a cigarette.

Your time will come - one reason to quit or another will rise up and be more powerful than your desire for a cigarette.

[susandennis]

Yeah, I'm with the too embarrassing program. Really. I'm not the making it work type. But, I'm also ok with being shut in if it comes to that.

I am ok with being a bitch but I will not be miserable. Under any circumstances.

And yes, life is absolutely what you make it!

[susandennis]

Oh no, you won't hear me complaining about what I cannot do because I smoked. I smoked with full knowledge at the time and now.

[joyce.livejournal.com]

My mother leans towards the too embarrassed camp, but she still wants to go out and do stuff... so it's constant negotiation to make sure she's not going to kill herself going out and doing things without the help she needs. Sigh. :)

[susandennis]

yeahbutt see that's where I veer off the normal road (yeah, right, like I was ever on it)... If I really want to go out and do something that's going to kill me, I will and hope it does. It's the maiming - the not killing but making me suffer forever that stands in my way.

[susandennis]

Yep, I got no fears about shortening my life just massive ones about living a long and miserable one!!!

[padiwack.livejournal.com]

{{{sympathies}}}

I was a smoker too. I finally was convinced a few years ago that I was indeed, mortal and had to quit. Staying quit was VERY hard for a very long time!

I have not experienced pneumonia myself, but I have friends that have - and they are always fearful of it returning. They start taking extra good care - and I am glad to report that so far no one has ome down with it again! I hope the same for you!

[susandennis]

thank you!

[cfchica.livejournal.com]

Hoping it's not pneumonia. That's a beast. Hoping you start feeling better quickly.

[katbyte.livejournal.com]

In July I was in ICU for 6 days on a ventilator with pneumonia, good thing you are going to your Dr and have him check you out. I really had no idea I had pneumonia , just some breathing issues I ignored.

I just got the pneumonia shot.

I am very lucky and seem to have no breathing issues after all that. I quit smoking in 96.

Do not wait.