Pessimistically yours...

[susandennis]

Last night I thought I might possibly be having a heart attack. I did a mental check the exact state of me - what should I do to make it easier for whoever found my body and/or had to deal with deconstructing my life.  Then, I ordered sheets. I'd looked at new sheets earlier in the day and decided I didn't need to spend the money.  When I thought I was going to die last night, I figured, what the hell and ordered them. I'm not kidding. I really did. It cracked me up.

I figure that a heart attack will take me down eventually and I'm ok with that. I'm not interested in putting up with medical intervention to prevent it.  I just hope it's fast. So going to an emergency room was not on my list of things to do.

I woke up this morning pretty much totally alive and feeling fine.  Joke's on me!!  Sheets are on their way. Oh well, I'll skip brunch today and that's half the cost of the sheets.  I'll chalk the other half up to 'oops'.

But, listening to the news and reading some internets this morning, I'm not all that bummed about possibly not living a whole lot longer. I think the people in this country are just headed in the wrong direction and I don't think I want to see what that turns out to be. And I don't want to listen to them anymore. I think those who shape opinions in the media - all media - are carving out a world that I don't want to live in.

People wave the constitution in my face when they want guns in their pockets, but toss it out the window when it comes to justice and fair trial.

So I'm ready to go. I'm happy and fine to hang for a while but while I'm sorry to miss all the cool gadgets of the future, I'm ok with not having to live with the people of the future.  

Comments

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

Well, I hear how pragmatic you are and I share your concerns, but I'm going to say it anyway. I would miss you.

[susandennis]

Thank you. What a lovely complement. Probably you won't have to miss me for even way longer than I'd like to think!

[lycomingst.livejournal.com]

That's pretty much how I feel about it. 8 ]

[notmypresident.livejournal.com]

So I'm ready to go.

Can you leave me the condo cats in your will???

[susandennis]

hehe My brother is in charge... he has 3 dogs and a cat, I'm sure he'd be happy to have someone to take on Betty and Zoey. (Tell him you think they'd be better off staying here so you'll need to move in with them. It might work!)

[brigitte lichtenberger-fenz (from livejournal.com)]

I understand your point, but, hey, I'd really, really miss you! And this would make at least my world a lot more sad....

[susandennis]

oh don't be sad. but thank you. it's nice to know that i'd be missed.

[letmesaythis.livejournal.com]

I am glad that you made it through, and count me in as another who would miss you MUCH!

[johncomic.livejournal.com]

I'm sure you will outlast me. (If there's any justice.)

[(Anonymous)]

What everybody else said, I would miss you. But on the pragmatic side, do you have an explicit arrangement with someone that if they don't hear from you on two days in a row they can check on you or call someone to do so? For the sake of the cats, plus finding you before things get too messy....

[kayre]

That was me, didn't realize I wasn't logged in-- oops!

[susandennis]

Oh thanks! I did wonder who. And great questions. So great, I think I'll make an entry!

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

Well.. I've heard (and this might be man-specific) that a heart attack in the 40s is likely to be fatal, and that one in the 60s is more likely to be disabling. And, *if* this is true, might be a reason to chew a couple aspirin and hit the ER with a living will pinned to your clothing.

(Yes, that a 40s MI is more likely to be fatal *is* weird, but it probably goes back to how 40 year olds aren't supposed to *have* heart attacks, so if they do, it's a bigger deal.)

So, I would urge you to talk to a doctor about this, or research it independently.

(I also have a somewhat fatalistic bent to my planning. If I ever have a stroke of the appropriate type, hit me with the clot buster - if I have internal injuries, and that means I'm going to die, well, better that than the excess brain damage from not getting the clot buster. I went through one period of helplessness and diaper changes, back when I was cute and adorable - I don't need another when I'm non-cute and a reminder of mortality.)

[osodecanela.livejournal.com]

What he said.

Ditto. Please speak with your medical provider.
Tomorrow.

[brendamom.livejournal.com]

Um...so last night was just a heart pains incident of some sort?

[susandennis]

no pain - just a feeling - feeling now gone.

[jwg.livejournal.com]

Ah the new cure for heart attacks - order sheets. Think how much money cold be saved in the US if this were the norm.

[susandennis]

The sheet lobby would throw a party!!

[fj.livejournal.com]

I am going to worry now about there being a sheet lobby.

The only problem with your plan is that going is usually not as clean as keeling over done--that heart attack was more likely to leave you in a wheel-chair. As do strokes and kidney failure. Plan on that eventuality too.

[susandennis]

Well, Debby Downer, I'm telling the sheet lobby on you. And the wheel chair lobby, too!

[fyremaven.livejournal.com]

Wow, i miss a lot when i work my ass off over the weekend. Stupid sick people at the hospital! lol...

so, what was it then if it wasn't a heart attack? I know you don't get panic attacks. If you were having epigastric or upper left quad or left chest pain it might have been referred pain from a gall bladder issue. IF you still have your gall bladder, that is.

Ok, i'll try not to pry too much. And i saw somewhere else that you might have a webcam to your place hooked up; i wanna go check it out.

:D
Glad you are well.

[susandennis]

All is fine. Really. I do have my gall bladder I guess. I've never heard from it and no one has removed it (that I know about). What happened was... you know when you get that lump in the top of your chest before you belch and sometimes it just sits there without belching? Well, I had that but the lump was really big. Not painful, just weird. That, plus a GIANT active imagination (and not too great heart genes)..

That's all it was and all is cool. Thanks.

[mixter11nm.livejournal.com]

People wave the constitution in my face when they want guns in their pockets, but toss it out the window when it comes to justice and fair trial.

AMEN! I'm so sick of them.