Alone again

[susandennis]

I was not a huge fan of Robin Williams. I liked some of his stuff but not all of it and always fast forwarded whenever I ran into him on a talk show. So, I am not thrilled with devoting now 2 days of news to his passing. I get that everyone but me thought he was the bees knees but tonight our local news - led with the story just as they did last night.  In the past 24 hours, there has been NO Seattle news at all??? NONE??

I'm also ready for Twitter to move on, she says curmudgeonly.

I'm actually sadder, I think, to hear of the demise of Lauren Bacall and two of my favorite restaurants here in Seattle Stopsky's and Katsu Burger.

But where I really stand alone, I think, is in my firm belief that anyone and everyone has the total and full right to end their life whenever they want.  It's my life and if I want to end it, I want that right and I want no one to stand in my way or be sorry for my decision.  Curable or incurable illness, mental or physical, or no illness at all, anyone who wants it to be over should have the right to make it be so.

If I ever take my own life, I want everyone understand that I did it with the full knowledge of what I was doing and did it of my own free will because it was what I wanted to do.  Do not assume that I needed help and/or could have been talked out of it. That is disingenuous and insulting. At least to me.

Suicide is always viewed through the eyes of survivors who invariably feel cheated and want retribution. They hone in on those who are not successful and shine a bright light on the 'so glad I was saved from myself'.  We never ever get the report from those who are successful. My money says they are relieved and glad that they completed the job without failure.

Comments

[badrobot68.livejournal.com]

Suicide is very sad but I agree, it's a human right and nobody else has any right to make any sort of judgement about it.

I was also not a big Robin Williams fan. He was always too manic for me in his comedy, but I respect the man deeply.

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

Personally, *I* think that making a judgement is a human right and nobody else has any right to make any sort of judgment about it!

[badrobot68.livejournal.com]

Well we all make judgments, that much is true. It doesn't make anyone right or wrong. I generally side with the rights of the individual to do what is best for their own life.

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

I was mostly teasing, though... just in case it wasn't clear. But yeah, that's my point: we judge. We can try not to, and sometimes, we might even succeed. But left alone, we tend to form judgments.

[badrobot68.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I figured you were kidding. :)

[mckavian.livejournal.com]

I disagree with you on your opinion of Mr. Williams - I liked almost all of his works. That is great that we can disagree on something and not have a screaming pissy fight because of it.

That being said, I agree with the rest of what you said. (Lauren Bacall - whatta dame!)

I know nothing about Seattle or the restaurant scene, so am 100% ignorant of it and have no opinion.

I have been dealing with a killing, crippling depression for so long, I figure it is inevitable that I will eventually commit suicide. As perverse as this may sound, I actually feel better knowing I have loaded firearms in the house.

I just want the pain, depression, and general feeling of worthlessness to stop. It may be selfish of me to want to end myself, but it is more selfish of others to want me to stay this way.

[sea-weed.livejournal.com]

Totally agree everyone has the right to end their life whenever and however they please, along with having the right to live life as they please, as long as they're not hurting others too terribly...and the shame of it is that it brings out all these self righteous people on facebook and twitter who feel that they know better, and saying stupid things like it's being selfish and why not just get medical help. Like that's something he wouldn't have tried already.

And big bummer about your favourite restaurants, can you look at it as a chance to find new favourites?

[magenta-girl.livejournal.com]

I never like it when everything is all about celebrities. I do feel sad about Robin Williams, in ways which surprise me because he has never been my favorite either.

The only time I've ever been angry about someone committing suicide was the guy who shot himself in the bathroom of my house in Atlanta (which we are renting out). And I'm aware that my reaction is the selfish one. In other instances I might be angry but I don't perceive suicide as a selfish act, and even if it is, so what? People commit selfish acts every day of the week and aren't demonized for it in the same way, even if they are acts which impact more people than someone's suicide. Of course, one of the things that has prevented me from seriously considering it at times has been the impact on others…particularly the kids and also thinking about who would be likely to find me and all that. So I keep on.

[katbyte.livejournal.com]

Some really interesting comments on this subject. Totally interesting viewpoints.

I have never had depression at that level, so I have no opinion about it.

I have also never been a Robin Williams fan, way to manic, and sometimes just stupid, but he had a lot of fans, so what do I know?

[legalmoose]

One of the best things I read yesterday was this article: It's Okay Not To Feel Anything When A Celebrity Dies, and this morning's follow up post. What especially resonated with me was this quote:

It is as if Facebook and Twitter reactions to celebrity deaths and tragedies have supplanted going to church as the cultural litmus test for letting the greater community know you are a good person and people are compelled against all reason to participate.

I mean, I liked the man's work, but do I feel compelled to post/discuss/self-flagellate over his death? No.

[holyoutlaw.livejournal.com]

I agree with your statement that a person has the right to end their own life. I expect to do that, one way or another -- whether taking pills in advance of an incurable disease or refusing treatment. I can totally understand how someone, at 63, can decide, after fighting depression for their entire life, that things will not be better.

And, yeah, we hear about the people who fail and are glad. And we'll never hear from the people who are successful and relieved.

Thank you for this.

News or Not?

[(Anonymous)]

Hi.Just getting to your blog today (Wed.). I agree wholeheartedly with you on all points you made. Lauren Bacall was an idol of mine, since I first saw her with Bogey. She had sooo much talent and kept up her good name 'till the end. Why we have to have news of people's mistakes and life choices, just to salivate on them is a mystery to me. I think I will now get out my collection of Bogey and Bacall DVD's and have a real good cry, as I go down memory lane with them. Stay cool, Mar from Oshawa.

[letmesaythis.livejournal.com]

All suicides sadden me, but the only suicide that has ever angered me was my grandmother's. She stuck her head in an oven when my mother was eight. I wish that she could have held on, at least until her kids reached adulthood. My mother never feels worthy and she always feels guilty...about everything, and I suspect it may be connected to her mother's suicide.

[zimzat.livejournal.com]

We may be of a minority opinion with regards to 'rights' surrounding suicide but I think that's largely because most people haven't thought about it with the same perspective. I think there's a time and place for everything. If/When I get to the point of being unable to care for myself and with little hope of recovering to that point then I'll start seriously considering alternate paths.

One of the thoughts I've had, the few times I paid any attention to the recent news, is that the people on my Facebook feed who are posting suicide prevention hotline numbers are being selfish (like you said). Many of these same people support pro-choice rights of women when it comes to abortion and yet they are against suicide.

[kyrielle]

I have no problem accepting suicide as a choice.

I feel terrible for family/friends left behind all the same. Not in a "he should not have done that" way but in a "gosh, that must hurt for you, it sucks to be you" way for them - because sometimes, one person's right to choose is painful to another person. Doesn't remove the right in the least, or make the choice a bad one.

I wish, I deeply wish, we had better mental and physical care in this country, so that more people would have lives worth living. But, since we don't have a magic "all health problems go away" wand, I can't blame anyone who decides that they have had enough of whatever crap they've been dealt.

I can regret that we weren't able to help them clear the crap if they wanted to. (And I think it's reasonable to think that Mr. Williams did, given that he'd attempted treatment in the past.)

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

Well, the issue of suicide is complicated. See, nearly no one will even *contemplate* suicide unless something is seriously wrong. The thought just doesn't tend to occur to normal people. So it's quite normal to assume that if someone is thinking of suicide, it's due to a problem that can be resolved. And if we just assumed that people who wanted to die were perfectly rational, we'd be ignoring a great many suffering people who we could help.

I don't think there should be criminal penalties to suicide attempts (and I believe there still *are* in some jurisdictions), but from my perspective, there's no way we can ignore the obvious: that the overwhelming majority who attempt are not making a rational choice based upon their will, but making a mistake based upon the known distorted thinking and perceptions that accompany things like severe depression.

[susandennis]

I do not agree but I appreciate your opinion.