I need a time out

[susandennis]

I am not that happy with me lately. In any given week I probably do 2 or 3 things I'm proud of and 1 thing that I wish I hadn't done or had done differently. It's Wednesday morning and I've already racked up several things this week that I'm embarrassed about. And it makes me not happy with me.

One of those things really haunts me. I was in the Japanese grocery store checking my stuff out and in the next checkout line there was a young woman with a toddler and a baby and about 3 bags of groceries. She was already over loaded and trying to juggle. The clerk would not cash her check because while she had ID, she did not have her drivers license - she had left it in the car. The manager was called and he told her she would have to go back to the car. She did not pitch a fit or even get whiney. She expressed some dismay and was clearly not happy. But, she took the kids and left her groceries and went to the car to get her license.

Why in the world did I not step in and pay for her groceries with my credit card? Or my check? I could have taken her check and she could have had her groceries without the hassle. It would have been so simple for me to do and if she had turned out to be a scam artist passing bad checks, big deal. I'm guessing she wasn't and I'm so so so sorry I didn't help her.

The other things are things I said or didn't say - some on LJ - that I shouldn't have or should have said differently.

Sometimes I am just not the person I want to be. I don't want to be perfect. I am not a lot of things (super model, surgeon - just a couple that come to mind quickly). But I can be a good person and a not stupid person if I try. I just haven't tried hard enough this week.

And now I have to try triple hard or my ratio will be so bad it will take me months to recover.

Comments

[letmesaythis.livejournal.com]

If I were in your shoes at that market it would never in a million years cross my mind to offer to pay for the groceries and accept her check. That you did speaks volumes about your character. I say this in the hope that you'll feel a little better about your choice, not so that you'll exclaim, "What a monster!" and scratch me off your FList!

That you feel this way about that incident speaks volumes about your character so I hope you'll give yourself a pardon on that time out.

[susandennis]

Thank you so much. That does make me feel better. Thank you. If you are a monster, you are my favorite one today and no way are you coming off of my Flist! Really, thank you.

[katbyte.livejournal.com]

this post is a good start. Very nice. I will also try to do better.

[susandennis]

Thanks. Isn't it interesting that even at our advanced age we can say and do stupid stuff that would make any 8 year old proud??!! Geesh.

[katbyte.livejournal.com]

I know, I proved what a witch I can be last week. A summer cold and 3 grandkids, They were better than me.

[laciann.livejournal.com]

I DO consider myself a pretty nice person - and I can't say it would have occurred to me to pay for her groceries. I probably would have offered to watch the kids, or run to the car for her, but I can't say I would have offered to pay.

Just the fact that you thought of that after the fact says to me that you have some major "nice" potential.

Oprah used to suggest that everyday you make a point of committing "random kindness" at least once every day. Sometimes just a smile will make someone else's day.

Don't waste energy beating yourself up for things you did or didn't do and wish you'd done differently. Learn from it, turn over a new leaf, and move on.

I don't really know you, but I think you're nice!

(This life-lesson provided free of charge)

[susandennis]

Thanks. Really.

Super Susan!

[rev-hank.livejournal.com]

you are one of the kindest people I have ever met!
"overpaying" on purpose and the like.
;)

you are a really good egg with less cracks than most people I know.

I think you should be proud of you.

Re: Super Susan!

[susandennis]

Thank you. That's very nice of you to say.

[geordie.livejournal.com]

You are being rather hard on yourself. I might well have paid for her, at other times I've given people money when they were short at the checkout. But I don't know what I'll do until it happens, sometimes I could be charitable and I'm not, other times I am. When I trashed my credit card so that I could get out of my $1600 debt (less than my rent now) I had a deep fear of not being able to pay for things, so I feel for people in those circumastances. If I was her though I'd have been tempted to just walk and leave them to put everything back.

[roadskoller.livejournal.com]

Hello, it's me. Already I like you.
I'm really impressed that you'd pay for her groceries with your crdit card. I might've watched her kids for her while she ran out to the car, but I don't think money would be involved. You're a good person.

[susandennis]

Thank you but really, I'd rather pay money than watch kids! I'm not that good.

[roadskoller.livejournal.com]

LOL! I know the feeling. I'm just a little softened up since hanging out with my grandson. Kids and I are usually water and oil.

[ms-hackman.livejournal.com]

I have to agree with everyone else - it would never have occurred to me to pay for her - just maybe watch the kids for a minute.

Okay, I can beat you for being evil - but I'll post it in my journal for you.

[kyrielle]

Add me to the list of people who would not have thought to pay for her groceries either. I agree - you thought of it, that's a good thing, and I'm sure you can find other good things to do also.

I did let several drivers in in bad traffic today, so I don't figure I'm a totally evil person. :)

[pinkrose70.livejournal.com]

You sometimes say that you're not a very nice "people" person, and make no apologies for it, rightly so.

But, I have to say...you can go on about being a tough, hardened woman who really doesn't care, but I'm positive now that under that exterior is one of the kindest, nicest people I've ever had the pleasure to "know." RL included!

Your Mom raised a very good daughter.