Money

[susandennis]

I just read a journal entry by someone looking at making money changes/fixes. The writer quoted an old saying "people with money don't talk about money." I've actually never heard this but it does ring true.

I'm sticking my neck out. I have money. I am going to talk about it.

I am a good money manager now. I use only two credit cards (one for Amazon only) and I check their balances online at least once a day, maybe more. I pay the balance down to $0 as soon as it gets over $100. I keep cash on hand (usually $100-ish) for emergencies. I still have a mortgage but the interest rate is very low and it does not make financial sense to pay it off just yet.

But, my road to being a good money manager was paved with potholes - tons of them. For years I lived in debt, paycheck to paycheck. I did not earn a lot back then but I sure did spend. And I spent without thought or planning. Even while I worried about turning into a bag lady on the street in my old age, I spent.

I remember one Friday night coming home from work with nothing planned and feeling kind of bored and down. I got in the car and drove to Walmart (about 20 miles away then) and spent $300 on a cart full of stuff - whatever struck my fancy. $300 that I did not have. And I was not a kid. This happened when I lived in Seattle so I was at least in my 40's. And it was not a one-off.

Even now, when I have money and a clear way to make it work for me and provide for me, I am still conflicted about it in many ways.

I donate cash fairly regularly to people and organizations. But it never feels like enough cash or often enough. I often feel guilty about spending money. I often feel guilty about money.

But, I do feel a great sense of accomplishment. I lucked into an amazing financial adviser and was smart enough to listen and learn and so amass enough to provide for me so that I no longer have to work to earn more. I am grateful that I have money to obsessively manage.

It has occurred to me more than once that talking about my various frivolous purchases in this journal, knowing there are people reading who have major stresses about their ability to put food on the table or get things they need, is thoughtless and mean. It is my journal and it is important to me to reflect in it who I am which includes my spending.

But, maybe there is an even better reason for putting my financial interactions out there.

Comments

[letmesaythis.livejournal.com]

I don't think it's mean, definitely not in this venue. It's the flip side of people complaining about their financial woes, which is also OK, in this venue in my opinion. One can't be wrong while the other is OK.

[susandennis]

Wow. Perfect. Yes. Thank you.

[slinkslowdown.livejournal.com]

talking about my various frivolous purchases in this journal, knowing there are people reading who have major stresses about their ability to put food on the table or get things they need, is thoughtless and mean

You know I'm one of those people struggling and stressing.

But I've never viewed anything you post about as frivolous. You use, enjoy, and/or need everything you buy.

For me, frivolous would be... Needing a different car for each day of the week; or refusing to wear an outfit twice; or buying a one-of-a-king album just to be a dick and never listen to it. :P

You're not cocky or an ass about having enough to live comfortably. You do give back, both financially and in giving your time to make all of those bears. You treat people as actual human beings, regardless of their net worth.

You've done nothing to make me think of you as even remotely thoughtless or mean.

And like you said, it's your journal and part of your life.

[susandennis]

Thank you. That is very kind of you to say and I really appreciate it. What a lovely, thoughtful comment. Wow.

[ellettra.livejournal.com]

This is exactly what I want to say too. <3

[susandennis]

Thank you.

[luzclarita.livejournal.com]

I like that $100 rule. I'm terrified of credit and only use debit, but that might work for me. Also, your money posts don't bother me. Maybe because you buy little things and not new sportscars every month or multiple houses? Really, I think of you as generous, always making things for people.

[susandennis]

Thank you. Very nice of you to say.

The $100 rule is actually kind of silly BUT it makes feel in charge and on top of things. Having/using a credit card does wonders for your credit rating which helps with stuff like car insurance pricing, etc.

[daphnep.livejournal.com]

Is there any particular thing you credit, for having gone from that $300 frivolous spender in your forties to your position now, where you can confidently say "I have money"? I'm on that progress chart, myself, and I'd like to hear more from people who have navigated it successfully.

[susandennis]

I think probably the biggest thing was 'no amount is too small to save'. I used to fritter away $10 because $10 isn't going to keep me out of the poor house so why bother.

My financial adviser made me put something aside every month no matter how small an amount. I think I started out with $10 a week. And somehow along the way, I got as obsessed with saving as with spending and by that time the little nest egg started making money with investments and I had the bug.

[ellettra.livejournal.com]

That's what I think too. "Oh, it's just $10. Oh, it's just $5." Reading this comment from you was SO GOOD. I think I can get obsessed with savings too. :D

[susandennis]

I'm so glad to hear that. It's really a satisfying obsession!

I also, back in the beginning, would test myself. I'd make up a very strict budget for a month. Just a month. This month, I will spend only xxx for lunches. Or this month, I will put aside xxx and that will be my limit for yyy. Just this one month.

For me a month was doable and sometimes, at the end of the month, I'd kind of gotten a new, cheaper, habit!

[ellettra.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, biting off smaller chunks is way easier for me too!

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

I learn lot from your posts, Susan. Your blog gives me a very good idea of what it's like to be retired in a way other writings do not. I have several friends who have second homes in Palm Springs and a healthy disposable income. I learn from reading about their lives, too.

[susandennis]

That is very nice to hear, Neil. Thank you. My condo is twice as big as I really need so I consider half of it my 'second home'! hahaha

[mhaithaca.livejournal.com]

Your purchases never seem frivolous, and your talking about them doesn't seem mean. One of the things I told Sara and John about you was that you often impress me by upgrading to new tools (or toys) you'd like to have, while selling your old gear for such a big portion of the cost of the new stuff that what you're really doing is paying a modest rental for the short period you have any given item. :-)

[susandennis]

:) I have had some good luck with that.

Thanks

[brigitte lichtenberger-fenz (from livejournal.com)]

Reading about your money management skills or habits is quite inspiring.

[susandennis]

That's nice to hear. Thank you.

[rejectomorph]

I enjoy reading about your various purchases, none of which have seemed frivolous to me. I probably wouldn't know that half of that stuff even existed, or what it did, if you didn't buy it and write about it.

[susandennis]

ha, there's a cool way of looking at it! Thank you

[slinkslowdown.livejournal.com]

Same here. I live vicariously through your neat tech purchases, Susan. :P

[susandennis]

I like that.

[badrobot68.livejournal.com]

You've earned your money and I'm glad you're enjoying a leisurely retirement.

[pinmedown.livejournal.com]

Bring on the money talk! :) more people should be open about money maybe there would be a lot less people struggling. Would love to know more about your financial planner and what you invest in etc. we are only just starting to think about saving and investing and have read people say you should never trust a financial planner because they will suggest options that pay them the most commission etc. but I guess you've had a better experience so that's awesome to hear.

[susandennis]

Great!

Yes, I think, in my case, my financial planner made all the difference. Without him, I'm pretty sure I would not be retired yet. I've heard the naysayers, too, and I totally get what they are saying BUT, yep, not my experience at all.

I pay my financial planner a flat fee every year. In my case, I pay about .6% of my investments. Once I saw what his decisions were doing to my bottom line (i.e. making it bigger and bigger), I pretty much gave up worrying. He kindly asks my opinion about things but does what he thinks is best and so far, he's been spot on. (He also sold his practice a few years ago to a young guy who is equally spot on so I have been very lucky.)

You need to get a little nest egg to start with. A lot of financial planners these days have a $50,000 limit or some other big number.

If I wanted to start today and I had absolutely nothing, I'd start with my local bank and go ask someone there if they could point me to a flat fee financial planner who takes entry level clientele. If that fails, then just start socking $$ away and, at the same time, continue the search for a planner you can be comfortable with.

Know what you are saving for. Initially you might be saving to have enough to warrant a financial planner! And that's perfectly legit.

[ani-mama.livejournal.com]

Ha, and half of my flist right now are bragging about their Christmas loot. Don't worry about it. You do not come off as thoughtless or mean at all. You earned the money, managed it well and now you have a comfortable retirement. That is something you can be proud of.

[susandennis]

Thank you.

[ellettra.livejournal.com]

Loved this post, the sentiment, and the comment thread. You're lovely, and I'm glad to know you!!

[susandennis]

Thank you very much. And right back atcha!

[kk1raven.livejournal.com]

There is a big difference between talking about money/spending money, and talking about it in a way that is thoughtless. Sometimes even reasonable and thoughtful things hurt people, but you can't take responsibility for everyone else's feelings. If people are in a state where seeing any talk of spending money feels hurtful, they probably need to stay away from social media in general, and perhaps avoid the internet as a whole as much as possible until things get better because there's a lot worse stuff out there than you talking about buying a sewing machine or a pool membership.

I don't think you should feel guilty about having money that you earned and being comfortable. If you'd done bad things to get that money, that would be another matter, but you just don't seem like the kind of person who would have done bad things for money.