A nice but rather unremarkable day

[susandennis]

Today didn't suck for a Monday. My best friend at work got a promotion and a new job and is moving next to my cube. It will be fun to have him close by but his new job means he will be traveling so he will likely be out of the office a lot. But, it's a great deal for him and I'm really glad.

Last night's World Series game was great. I had decided not to watch - just to wait for Spring Training and I got sucked right in and loved it. Next game Tuesday.



kjazWrote about his LJ friend who's partner died. The guy was 2 years older than I am, died of a heart attack and was, apparently fine a few days ago. I've been thinking about it all day. If that were me, that would be ok. I have fears about death but not what you'd probably think. Like a lot of people, I'd like to go fast. In my sleep would be great. Unlike a lot of people, I'd just as soon go sooner than later. What I mean is that I do not want to grow old at all. I do not want to depend on any medical anything - no drugs, no nobody. I am free from pain right now and I don't need anything to keep me that way and that's the way I want to stay. Or I'd rather just move on over to the other side.

If I could, I'd have Do Not Recessitate written on my forehead. My greatest fear is waking up in the hospital. Just let me go. I'm ready. I have the strongest medical power of attorney the law allows in Washington State. It specifically spells out do not plug me in but if someone does pull the plug right now. I have had strong talks with my sister who is in is the administrator of that power of attorney and she knows that if I wake up in the hospital, she's in BIG trouble. Fortunately, she understands my point of view and I honestly believe will abide by my wishes.

I have had a great life. If I die tonight, please know I died with no big regrets. I've been way luckier than most and I've enjoyed more than most. I've probably laughed louder and harder than most. I'm grateful and I'm ready.

Comments

[madeleine.livejournal.com]

if I wake up in the hospital, she's in BIG trouble.

I have a question about that. Exactly what kind of "waking up" do you mean? what if (for example) you had a minor heart attack and passed out.

They take you to the hospital, bring you back and pretty much you're going to be ok, but you woke up in the hospital. Good or bad?

[susandennis]

Good question and the answer is pretty much - bad. Even a minor heart attack means follow on doctor stuff. Medicine, therapies, etc. And starts down that slipper slope.

If I break my arm, I am liable to get that fixed. And if I break a tooth, I get that fixed. But those don't require continued care forever and are pretty containable as far as medical stuff is concerned.

Now, having said all of this, I must hasten to add that I am a bit of a realist... I do realize that this is not something I get to test out. If I have a minor heart attack and am left to die as I would wish and it doesn't work out like I think it should, I can't very well say 'oops I was wrong.'

And, I've never really been tested on this stuff much. So when push comes to shove, I could be full of shit. But, I don't think so.

[judith.livejournal.com]

Serious thoughts, yes, but positive, clear. You know yourself, you know what you want. Seems terrific to me.

I am not actually afraid of dying itself, but I do want to live long. I have a weird obsessive feeling that I haven't done what I 'm supposed to do here yet - even though I don't believe in any higher power - I just don't make a lot of sense.

I envy you this clarity. It must be freeing.

[susandennis]

Thank you. I have been thinking about adding these thoughts to my Ljournal for a while and didn't quite know why. Your comment is exactly why. Writing them down helped me make sure I was as clear on the deal as I thought.

It is very freeing for sure.

[susandennis]

I like that...

Fingers crossed for game 3 to be as good as game 2!

[dlanor.livejournal.com]

Right now Game 3 is a hoot, Bonds just smacked another one.