Social Security

[susandennis]

The older you get, the more attention you pay to that little love note you get from Social Security every year...  In the U.S. everyone who earns taxable income gets a statement of how much money they have made in their lifetime.  By year.

My first reported income was in 1968. I made $521 and in 1969, I made $738.  In the olden days, getting paid under the table was pretty common.  The jobs I had in high school were all under the table.  I worked in a dress shop and on Saturday afternoon, Mrs. Thalheimer, who owned the joint, would dig into the register and pay me with small, unmarked bills.  I babysat and, of course, none of that was taxed.  And I had a few other odds and ends of jobs that were all pretty much tax free.  1968 was my first year of college and clearly, I had some kind of high paying job.  I cannot remember for the life of me what it was. 

This report also spells out what benefits you could get now and what the projected ones will be for the future.  I could start drawing benefits in as few as 6 years.  Or if I become disabled, I can start drawing benefits immediately.

But, wait, there's more!

My spouse or minor child, can haul in a one time death benefit of $255!!!  That should draw me some hefty marriage proposals... Come on, dudes (sorry, I live in Washington state, any spouse of mine must have a penis), step up and grab your cash.  All you have to do is marry me and knock me off (not up, off - I think if you knock me up, you'd have to split the $255).

Comments

[rsc.livejournal.com]

I live in Washington state, any spouse of mine must have a penis

Even if you lived in Massachusetts, for the purposes of this discussion. The Social Security Administration, a Federal agency, doesn't recognize same-sex marriage.

[susandennis]

Why am I not surprised?? Geesh!!

[mtnkodiak.livejournal.com]

$255? I mean, honestly... why do they even bother? Hehehe...

[susandennis]

This means I shouldn't wait for your application to be my spouse (or minor child)? Ohkay but don't say I didn't offer!

[mtnkodiak.livejournal.com]

:)

[vasilatos]

I'm trying to picture the funeral you get for $255. No white horses drawing a rose-covered carriage with your casket, I guess. Wonder what the feds have in mind? There must be a government pamphlet (from Pueblo, CO :-).

[susandennis]

A FREE pamphlet from Pueblo... ha!! Probably that's why they can only give my spouse or minor child $255. All the spare cash is pumping out those fucking pamphlets!

[roadskoller.livejournal.com]

I always get panicky when I get sent my yearly heads up. I haven't earned any taxable income since Frebruary 14th, 1990.

[pheon.livejournal.com]

Julie's little yearly form is interesting, because since she didn't work for a good part of our marriage --- instead working at being a stay-at-home mom --- she is one quarter shy of being eligible for social security. She has 5 years to go, so we are planning to generate that one additional quarter sometime soon. It feels slightly like cheating, but it wouldn't hurt to add her social security to mine. [If I die before she does, I think she gets to choose getting part of mine or hers and I think that part of mine will be larger. But finding any real info on the socsec website is extremely difficult.]

And while I have a penis, I am not applying to marry you. I have a small suspicion that you would be even more cantankerous than the wife I have. Though it would be close. :-)

[susandennis]

And while I have a penis, I am not applying to marry you. I have a small suspicion that you would be even more cantankerous than the wife I have. Though it would be close. :-)

You sweet talker, you!

[lordjim.livejournal.com]

Take me, take me! I have a penis!

And if you knock me off before I knock you off, you get $255. What a deal!

[susandennis]

Sounds like a perfect arrangment!! If I start to feel poorly and/or need a quick $255, I'll be giving you a buzz!

[lordjim.livejournal.com]

I look forward to your call.