Continued - The End-ish

[susandennis]

When I was little, I thought that growing up meant kids and housework. I was not interested. When I was in college, I thought the world was coming to an end brought down by adults shooting Kennedys and civil rights organizers, not to mention the Vietnamese war, and I really wanted no part of it. I figured, I'd hang out until I was 27 and then end it all. (Really, I really did think this.)

But, in spite of myself I kept going and going and going and here at 68 years old, I seem to be pretty much fine and dandy. I know the end must be in sight and I'm fine with that, I just don't look for it.

I've had a very blessed and lucky life. I learned early on to evaluate for The Worst That Can Happen and make sure I can handle that worst and then go for it. That proved valuable over and over again.

I have not been a good friend or a kind person. I have tried but failed over and over again. Part of this is because I am such lovely company for myself and am not that good at sharing. And part of it is just an unaccountable personality defect. I wish I was different and there are many many things I wish I had done differently.

But, these days, I kind of live a what's done is done life. I do try hard to find an enjoy things in the moment and I have lots of those moments.

Writing all this down has been fascinating to me. It has reminded me over and over again what a wonderful 68 years I have had. And that's icing on the cake. I do love cake.



Any questions? Seriously, I'm happy to answer any questions any time.



I compiled all of these entries in chronological order (with an index!)

PDF Version

Google Docs version

Comments

[daphnep.livejournal.com]

It has been fascinating to read, as well. Thank you so much for sharing all this here!

[susandennis]

Thank you!

[badrobot68.livejournal.com]

I have enjoyed the journey and I hope you'll continue to tell stories from your past!

[susandennis]

Oh I will, I promise.

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

I love the flavor of the cake of your life!!! Susan, thanks so much for sharing all of this!!!! It's been a wonderful, can't-wait-for-continued ride!!!

[susandennis]

Thanks, Neil.

[fitzjameshorse.livejournal.com]

I have thoroughly enjoyed this. I must do the same.

[seattlejo.livejournal.com]

1. I just read through it all, I had paged back in LJ and read slowly till I realized you consolidated. Thank you for sharing.
2. You're one of my favorite friends. We get together just often enough to catch up enjoy each others companies and go back to our lives. Yet I'm always proud to tell folks about my friend Susan.

[susandennis]

That's wonderful to read. Thank you so much. I kind of feel like you do but I wouldn't mind catching up a little more often. I always learn such fun things from a chat with you!

[pinmedown.livejournal.com]

I am really envious of your outlook, you seem so content it's lovely 😊

I know you certainly don't dwell on them, but do you have regrets?

Who taught you about saving money etc?

[susandennis]

I am very very content and so lucky to be so.

Both your questions are great ones and I'm going to answer them in their own entry. Thanks for asking!

[celluloid-jam.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for posting all of this. It's been a wonderful read. :)

[susandennis]

Well, thank you!

[mdlbear]

I've enjoyed these immensely. Thank you.

[susandennis]

That's very kind of you to let me know. Thank you!

[roasted-beets.livejournal.com]

I've enjoyed it too. Since my father never really talked about his job, you've given me a glimpse of IBM I wouldn't have otherwise. Thank you.

[susandennis]

Oh nice. I'm so glad.

[gracegiver]

Susan, I haven't commented much but read all your entries with fascination, laughter and wonder. You've led such a different life than I. And here we are ... long term LJ'ers, and living each day as we see fit (generally speaking, for sure!)

Thank you for all this writing. I'm in awe.

[susandennis]

Wow. Thank you!

[opakele.livejournal.com]

How did you quit smoking?

[susandennis]

Another very good question. I had this nagging cough and it was annoying me. I had never given any serious thought to quitting before but now I did. I asked around (LJ) and found out that if I quit, likely the cough would go away. So one Sunday morning, I got up and decided that was it. I was done. No more. I thought I'd try cold tukey on my own first and if that didn't work, try the gum or the patch or something. The first few days were kind of easy. i had iron clad resolve. But, then, it got tougher.

In all honesty, I smoked for maybe a year or a little less after that. BUT, I'd have two puffs, put it out and then have two puffs again 4 or 5 hours later. One cigarette would last me days. Once in a great while I'd have a whole one but, probably not more than 3 or 4 times over that year. And, then, one day, I just didn't need or want it any more.

That was about 15 years ago. Oh and the cough did go away. I still love a good whiff of second hand smoke to this day.

[sweetmeow]

I admit -- I'm sad these tbc entries are over. I have looked forward to them each day - checking my LJ at the approximate time I learned they would be posted each day. They were such fun to read!
Thanks so much for sharing your interesting and full life with us. I'm contemplating doing something similar, but still thinking about how I'd approach it if I do.

Despite the friendship issue, imo, be glad you loved your own company. From one who struggles with this -- it's the best gift you gave yourself. There are so many people out there who don't much like their own company, and, instead, substitute "pleasing others", and shallow relationships.

I hope that as you remember different life events you forgot to mention, you'll write an entry here and there as you think of them. :)

[susandennis]

Thank you so much. And, I absolutely will write about anything I forgot and I'm sure there is plenty.

[zyzyly.livejournal.com]

I think your life story, told in the LJ format has been one of the most interesting and enjoyable things I have ever read. It illustrates that there is no such thing as an average life. Every life story is interesting and unique. Thank you so much for sharing it.

[susandennis]

Thank you! It has been a most rewarding experience.

[lifeinroseland.livejournal.com]

LOVED it. And great to have it all in one place!

--

Did you ever want to have children? And why or why not?

[maju01.livejournal.com]

My life will be duller without your daily "to be continueds". (I might have said this before.)

[susandennis]

Awww, thanks!

[sholio]

I really enjoyed reading these. Thank you for sharing them!

[susandennis]

Thank you.

[amw.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much for collecting all of these in a PDF. I realized early on that i wouldn't be able to follow them all while i was traveling around with spotty internet, but now i have the whole bundle i will definitely read through.

[susandennis]

You are welcome. Thank you!

[zoefruitcake.livejournal.com]

I have really enjoyed these posts, I'll miss them

[letmesaythis.livejournal.com]

I'm several months behind but I still want to thank you for sharing your story. There is nothing about your life that was or is boring, that's for sure! You're an excellent storyteller, Susan, and as someone else mentioned I'm proud to call you LJ friend. I don't hesitate to mention you in conversations, "My friend, Susan, in Seattle saw/found/said/shared...."

[susandennis]

Awww. Thank you! I really appreciate your saying all that and I absolutely feel the same way... "I wonder if they put Crisco on the poles in my friend, Judy's, neighborhood!"

[letmesaythis.livejournal.com]

Ha ha ha, I assure you they did grease those poles and people still climbed them. Philadelphians have lost their minds, including me. Not a die-hard fan but I have always cheered for all of the home teams. The joy (and insanity) is infectious. The parade will pass right by my job on Thursday but the suburban train station below will be closed and only one building entrance will be accessible. It's as if the city said, "We're having a parade for the Eagles!" followed with a smirk and a "but good luck getting here!" I'm not sure if I'll venture in on the el (free to ride all day!) for the excitement or stay safe and cozy at home.

[susandennis]

hahahaha Wild. ENJOY!