Guilt free piddling

[susandennis]

One of the the gynormous benefits of retirement is the luxury of just piddling around without focus, goal or productivity guilt free. It really is a gift. And it's what I've been doing since I got back from the pool.

I was reading about Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine and the author who said she wrote the book as a way to investigate loneliness. And then I followed a couple of more links about loneliness. By all I read, my life really has a high percentage of suckage. I should be in the depths of despair with no hope for any happiness ever. And, interestingly, I did not read loneliness into the story of Eleanor Oliphant. Aloneness, yes, loneliness, no.

I treasure my freedom to do what I want to do when I want to do it without having to explain or justify or even acknowledge anyone else. My Mom used to say that I steered clear of any relationships because I didn't want to share the remote and she was not that far off. I don't want to share the remote. I have never been able to find enough value in a relationship with another person to offset the loss of that freedom.

I am alone and I have a very happy life. But, apparently, that is not normal. Fortunately, I don't give a shit.

My fitness tracker's app quit working this morning. Every time I'd open it, it would close. The tracker is tied to the app on one device at a time. I have to disconnect it - in the app - to use it on another device. So I can't just install it on a tablet and have it work when I can't get in to disconnect. Catch 22. Finally, I uninstalled it, found the APK for an earlier version and installed that. Back in biz. Whew.

The social committee for the condo has now put up Halloween decorations. I'm not sure Halloween decorations are ever not tacky but these are pretty ugly. And they made not very clever signs that you are supposed to put on your door if you want trick or treaters. So every hallway looks like trash was dumped there. Yeah it's a Get Off My Lawn time for me.

The head of the social committee is a woman with whom I disagree on nearly every single facet of living. She has a small son who is the poster boy for Annoying Children while she manages the role of empowered parent who expects you to do whatever she thinks is needed for her precious spawn. I got an email from her last night telling me that I had been selected to assist in upkeep of the Halloween decorations on my floor and keeping the soon to be added candy bowl filled. Would it be ok for her to bring by the candy for filling it on Monday night?

No. I'm not the sort who has trouble saying no. I used to work hard to make up credible white lies to ensure the person asking felt fine about the rejection. No more. No excuses. I just replied that I was opting out of the opportunity. Sweet, simple. I kept the sarcasm and snark to myself. It would have been wasted on her anyway.

This morning, once I finish piddling about, I'll be sewing up the new pants. And doing a couple of other sewing-ish things. My neoprene swimming gloves need a bit of a fix, for instance. Then the Bed Remote Fixit Guy is due. And after that, who the heck knows what excitement could ensue!

Comments

[zoefruitcake.livejournal.com]

I love my own company, love travelling on my own and love time to myself. My husband doesn't. Which sucks

[lifeinroseland.livejournal.com]

I was thinking about your journal recently that I've felt like sharing more & more often on mine. Sure I tell people in my life stuff, but LJ is diff and certainly does require a lot of alone time. We'd miss out on this stuff (being documented) if you were just telling it to whoever you were with. Here it has a different, maybe even a higher value.

[susandennis]

Excellent thoughts and yes. I will say that LJ has been an integral part of my life now for 15 years and has made it a much better, richer life for sure.

[fflo.livejournal.com]

"precious spawn": :)

[susandennis]

It's really rewarding. :)

[lostincandyrain.livejournal.com]

Generally I've found that once I read about what the author was thinking when they wrote a book, I like it less, because I usually got something out of it that was different (and I generally think better) than what they intended... This is part of the magic of books (really, art in general)!

[susandennis]

very true.

[maju01.livejournal.com]

Although I don't live alone now, I have done in the past and was rarely lonely as I enjoy my own company and doing things my way with nobody to answer to.

It's just obnoxious that somebody would select you to help with Halloween without consulting you first. I'm glad you said no.

[laura davidson (from livejournal.com)]

Agreed. I love Halloween, candy, kids, and decor. I wouldn't mind up-keep, and might say yes if asked. But *tell* me I'm doing it? Nope. No, no, no, nope.

It's even more deserving of a no when they're trying to thrust it on someone who wouldn't enjoy it regardless, but being voluntold for anything bites.

[rsc.livejournal.com]

You're alone on your own terms, but you also have a community of online friends and contacts, which probably helps to keep you from feeling lonely. But you only have to interact with us how and when you feel like it, and you never have to share the remote with us. Best of both worlds, I'd say.

[susandennis]

Yes, yes, yes. You absolutely crystallized my feelings exactly. Thank you.

[rsc.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure Halloween decorations are ever not tacky but these are pretty ugly.

If Halloween decorations aren't tacky, you're not doing it right.

(There was a house two doors away from the last place I worked that really went all out on the Halloween decorations. It was all over the front of the house and the lawn and tacky and hideous and completely over-the-top. It gave me a nice bit of entertainment for all three Octobers that I worked there.)

these two things are not the same

[kk1raven.livejournal.com]

"Alone" and "lonely" are very different things and it drives me crazy when people conflate them. It sounds like th links you followed led to stuff that conflated them. You can be alone without being at all lonely and you can be lonely without being alone. Also, living with someone is not the determining factor when it comes to being alone. I've known people who were married but alone in all the ways that matter. You may live by yourself, but I wouldn't say you're alone and you definitely don't seem lonely. You have what seems to be a good-sized circle of people in your life.