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susandennisPretty important, actually. But only for the last decade.
After I was out of college, I rode with my Mom from North Carolina to Oklahoma and back to transport my father's mother who needed to move but refused to fly.
The trip game my Mom and me an opportunity to talk about things we had never before discussed. We got on the topic of how she raised us (me). I noted that the two things she harped on my whole life that made me nearly suicidal were "Stand up straight" and "Clean up your room". She laughed hysterically and finally was able to sputter that those were exactly the two things she thought she had never said enough!
When I was still at home, she did harp. Constantly. Looking back from today's perspective I totally get it. I would have been far harder on me than she was. My room was always a mess and I didn't care. I knew what was on/under every pile. And I was busy growing up. No time for tidy!
She tried various tricks over the years. She'd go through my room and put everything in a box (or several boxes) and I'd have to buy my stuff back with my allowance. We had a house cleaner who was amazing. I loved when she cleaned my room. BUT, for a while, Mom would not let her in there unless I had put everything away first. (One time Lilly, (the house cleaner) grabbed me the minute I got home from school and whispered 'keep your door closed. your momma told me not to clean your room but i did anyway. do not tell on me!' She was wonderful.
From the time I left home until 2005 my homes always looked like these two shots of my living room 'before' - only I tidied this room up for the photographs. Really it was awful. Messes everywhere. Always.
I was always at least an hour away from being able to have someone come over. And then it was shoving shit under and behind stuff. It was a terrible way to live.
In 2005, I gutted the place and got rid of most everything. (It was a boom year for Goodwill.) I hired a designer to create the home I have today and she did a wonderful job. From that time on, my house is tidy. Always. Anyone can pop in any time, no problem. And I would find it really stressful to live any other way.
Clean and tidy are two separate things in my book. Tidy means everything is in its place and surfaces are uncluttered. Clean means no dust, no spots, no grime, no dust bunnies. Clean carpet, clean surfaces, sparkle and shine. My house cleaner does that. And it is as important as tidy to me. She only comes every other week which, it turns out, gives me enough dirty to really really appreciate the clean when she finishes!
My Mom always had a thing about needlepoint. She thought it was boring and the result of all that hard work was boring. And... yet... about a decade after that road trip, for my birthday, I got this:
I hung it over the toilet. When she came to visit one time, after she left, I discovered it had gained a post it note:
After I was out of college, I rode with my Mom from North Carolina to Oklahoma and back to transport my father's mother who needed to move but refused to fly.
The trip game my Mom and me an opportunity to talk about things we had never before discussed. We got on the topic of how she raised us (me). I noted that the two things she harped on my whole life that made me nearly suicidal were "Stand up straight" and "Clean up your room". She laughed hysterically and finally was able to sputter that those were exactly the two things she thought she had never said enough!
When I was still at home, she did harp. Constantly. Looking back from today's perspective I totally get it. I would have been far harder on me than she was. My room was always a mess and I didn't care. I knew what was on/under every pile. And I was busy growing up. No time for tidy!
She tried various tricks over the years. She'd go through my room and put everything in a box (or several boxes) and I'd have to buy my stuff back with my allowance. We had a house cleaner who was amazing. I loved when she cleaned my room. BUT, for a while, Mom would not let her in there unless I had put everything away first. (One time Lilly, (the house cleaner) grabbed me the minute I got home from school and whispered 'keep your door closed. your momma told me not to clean your room but i did anyway. do not tell on me!' She was wonderful.
From the time I left home until 2005 my homes always looked like these two shots of my living room 'before' - only I tidied this room up for the photographs. Really it was awful. Messes everywhere. Always.
I was always at least an hour away from being able to have someone come over. And then it was shoving shit under and behind stuff. It was a terrible way to live.
In 2005, I gutted the place and got rid of most everything. (It was a boom year for Goodwill.) I hired a designer to create the home I have today and she did a wonderful job. From that time on, my house is tidy. Always. Anyone can pop in any time, no problem. And I would find it really stressful to live any other way.
Clean and tidy are two separate things in my book. Tidy means everything is in its place and surfaces are uncluttered. Clean means no dust, no spots, no grime, no dust bunnies. Clean carpet, clean surfaces, sparkle and shine. My house cleaner does that. And it is as important as tidy to me. She only comes every other week which, it turns out, gives me enough dirty to really really appreciate the clean when she finishes!
My Mom always had a thing about needlepoint. She thought it was boring and the result of all that hard work was boring. And... yet... about a decade after that road trip, for my birthday, I got this:
I hung it over the toilet. When she came to visit one time, after she left, I discovered it had gained a post it note:
(no subject)
Date: 2017-11-09 11:08 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2017-11-09 11:09 pm (UTC)That's cute art and sentimental= just my style. My mom was the take stuff away type. If you can't pick it up yourself then it's obviously trash was her thing. Sad way to go through life. I'm glad you've found a tidy balance. I think we are tidy but my mom is sweeping and vacuuming every day while we are at work. This makes me feel extremely lazy and messy though I know it's just her wanting to be helpful.
(no subject)
Date: 2017-11-09 11:54 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2017-11-10 12:08 am (UTC)Susan, I so relate to this! This was me, exactly. Now, my favourite show is Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners ha ha
It just really is so much nicer to live in a proper environment (clean, organized, safe) and I've really noticed the difference it all has on my mental state. If you're wondering if I'm currently down in the dumps, take a peek into my room. If it's not photo-ready then I'm probably struggling with something internally.
The inside and outside reflect each other (and that works on so many levels). So I get and agree with your philosophy on keeping your home nice. It's something I'm still working at, but I've come a long way and I'm not done yet : )
Your mom sounds like she was a bit of a tough cookie--mine was, too, but luckily I never lived with her : D
And that needlepoint thing is too much lmao...
(no subject)
Date: 2017-11-10 08:33 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2017-11-10 03:10 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2017-11-10 04:12 pm (UTC)Your mom was hilarious.
(no subject)
Date: 2017-11-10 04:13 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2017-11-10 06:16 pm (UTC)I married three successive messes. Uno was not too bad, Fran was a huge pile of stuff and Dana is a mess generating machine. I think I'm masochistic.
I'm not overly neat but find that my stress level is lower the more horizontal space is unused. A table with one thing in the middle unknots my stomach. I live with blinders on.
(no subject)
Date: 2017-11-10 09:29 pm (UTC)Blinders are a good tool for a mess :)
(no subject)
Date: 2017-11-10 08:54 pm (UTC)I love this story. It made me smile.
(no subject)
Date: 2017-11-11 01:03 am (UTC)I can totally understand the separation of "clean" and tidy" because tidiness may not be my forte, but I can't stand dirt, so I clean much more than I tidy. :)
(no subject)
Date: 2017-11-11 10:01 pm (UTC)