Zen... I found it

[susandennis]

When I decided to work no more, I also decided that now, since I truly am the boss of me, I would do whatever was required to ensure a smooth and pleasant life. Letting things piss me off is in my control. And sweating the small stuff is as useless as sweating the big stuff. And, for the most part, I've made it work. Stress and fury and frustration are all frosted with powerlessness. I have the power over me.

Today, for instance, the lines were long at Costco and people were not nice. And I chose to ignore it and focus on what the fuck that guy in front of me was planning with his $900+ haul of groceries (no meat) and wine.

Just now, I spent an hour and a half trying to print out a pattern. The reason I could not do it correctly turned out to be entirely my fault but before I got to that answer, I recognized the harmful stages (throw this stupid shit out the window, slam something, yell at the cat) and I just breathed and kept calm. Ok, there was one MOTHERFUCKER! But only one.

The sales guy at the gym is getting all salesy on me for zero reason. I have not once given him any reason to think I'm not willing to pay whatever he wants. I do not need to be sold. In fact, my last email started off with "I'm Sold" but, he must have a quota of dumb salesy shit he has to foist on prospects. So I'll let him get it out of his system, knowing full well that as soon as I seal the deal, I'll never hear from him again.

And there are just some days when an annoyance will just blow right by me and others when the tiniest thing will be the worst. Today was like that latter but except for that one MOTHERFUCKER! I've been good, fine, zen...

Breathe, breathe, breathe

Then I took the New York Times Copy Editor Quiz and nailed it and felt much better!

I have a brand new pork chop for dinner.

Comments

[paradisekendra.livejournal.com]

Good for you!

[topum.livejournal.com]

I tried that quiz just for a laugh because on top of not being a native speaker, I have always been shockingly bad at everything that involved words (that's why I chose a job that involved almost exclusively numbers and almost no words) and, yes, I would be an abysmally bad copyeditor indeed ).

[susandennis]

anyone who knows ore than one language (and so knows more languages than I do) always impresses the heck out of me!

[topum.livejournal.com]

The number of people who speak my native languages around the world is equal to half the population of New York City. So speaking another language is a necessity.

[susandennis]

Now I'm even more impressed. What's your native language? Did you learn another language as you were learning your first or as an adult or somewhere in between?

[topum.livejournal.com]

I am a native speaker of Danish (my dad) and Norwegian (my mother), they are close though.
No, I learned English as a second language (grammar and stuff), not together with my native ones. Most Danes speak English as a second language though.

[susandennis]

Ahhh cool.

[daphnep.livejournal.com]

I scored 18 tries, better than 76% of NYT readers. The acronym/abbreviation one got me!

[susandennis]

WTF??!! hehehe

[zyzyly.livejournal.com]

Ahh a couple of good "Motherfucker"'s always helps

[lifeinroseland.livejournal.com]

Fun quiz! I did poorly tho I hate editing :s

[fflo.livejournal.com]

I don't usually get 'em all on that quiz, despite being a professional copy editor, but this time I did:

You took 13 tries to complete the quiz.

Over all, you did better than 98 percent of Times readers. The median score on this quiz is 27.

But shouldn't that be "Overall"?

I came here tho to comment on the letting stuff go thing and avoiding the misery we have the option of avoiding. Seems I can't be reminded too much of this sort of thing. I surely do contribute to my own unpleasant experience sometimes. Particularly since I started getting more assertive. That's one really shitty part of having to learn to assert oneself, I think. The way the stress and frustration and anger of it feel extra-big. That stuff flusters me, as does the backlash of fearful chagrin that seems to slap into me reflexively most of the time when I assert myself with people I feel close to. And such flustering is the opposite of the Zen chill serenity biz.

[susandennis]

Clear case of over thinking (or overthinking)?! Finally I looked it up and you are correct and they are wrong and you should, overall, get extra points!

Your take on assertive and stress is interesting. At first thought, my take is that being assertive is less stressful than just taking what gets handed out. But, yeah, I see the other side.

One major contributor to my own Zen chill serenity biz is my isolation. Not having to answer to, compromise with, cater to friends and family provides a clear path to calm :)

And constantly reminding myself about who is in charge of how I think, feel, deal with and respond to shit.

[fflo.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I reckon it is easier outside the context of personal relationships. Nonetheless, I am in charge, even then, of my dealio. Except of course for the aspect of feelings that comes unbidden and on its own.


BTW, the NYTimes wrote back with a segment of its style manual:

Dear Ms. Nichols,

Thank you for your note, and I understand your concern. It is a convention of our newsroom style to render that term as two words in this context. In case you are interested, I have copied the relevant passage from our stylebook below:

over all, overall, overalls. Use overall as an adjective: overall policy.
But use two words in phrases like these: Over all, the Democrats made gains;
The Senate’s political coloration will be little changed over all. The bibbed
trousers with tool pockets are overalls.

​I hope this helps explain, and thank you for taking the time to reach out. We appreciate your taking our quiz.

​Best regards,

Zach Montague
Assistant, Standards Department
The New York Times

[susandennis]

NYT. Lame lame lame

[sweetmeow]

I took that test. It was an embarrassment and I thought I was better than I really am. The reality is that I don't write nor edit well. Clearly! When I finally got a few of the answers, I was shocked that I didn't spot them immediately. With a certain misspelling, if I had written that word, I would have spelled it correctly. I was shocked I didn't see it immediately! Editing and writing are somewhat different skills. (I don't want to give it away by being specific).

As far as zen. I struggle, (case in point - my recent bad mood post when I succumbed to that rabbit hole!) but know it's all about attitude ... a choice ... a mindset for living, maybe. I also think it has something to do with a certain inner confidence that you can handle the curve balls that life can sometimes throw your way. Sometimes, for me, confidence is in short supply.

I also think that things get a little more complex when you live with someone else, in my case a marriage partner - - someone I love very much. :) Despite the fact that I've chosen the life I lead with him, the reality is that I might not be living exactly as I am if I was the the only one making choices for my life. Once you choose - or for as long as you choose - there has to be an acceptance of the consequences for that choice.

Also, after reading some of the other comments, adding assertiveness can add stress to your zen! Yet - not asserting oneself can also add a different kind of stress. This dynamic increases if you are living with someone else.