Getting a grip

[susandennis]

When you live alone, hermit style, like I do, you petty much have to go without a readily available sanity check.

My Mom once told me that if I never got married, I'd never know, when I left the house, whether or not my slip was showing. Fooled her. I never wear one! But, metaphorically, she's got me.

Today is a fine example. I was so bummed about this breathing thing. I did go to the fabric shop and made it up the stairs but then had to literally stop, hold onto a table and pant my way back to normal breathing. Twice I walked up and down the hall (which is 100 yards, not 300) and back and was out of breath before I got back to my door. I get up to pee and end up sitting on the toilet gasping for breath.

What the fuck am I going to do when my brother and sister-in-law come to visit? How am I going to swim every day? Even if I wanted to go beg the doctor for help, I can't until Tuesday and today is Saturday. Spiral... down...

I sat down and watched a movie and did fine. I got up and walked the hallway and I did not. I sat again and fine. Ok.

I can sit and breath without any problem at all. I can move some and if I go slowly and not too far I can move without having to stop and pant. So it's not like I'm immobile. I know I can get to the car. And from the car back here. So I'll entertain my brother and sister in law vehicularly. If I have to stop at the edge with ever lap I swim, BFD. I'm still in the water which I love. I'm still swimming. If only 30 minutes of it is good, that's 30 fucking minutes of something I love that is good.

So no more crying in my beer. That's just stupid. I've now officially hiked my slip up and I think I'll go pee and then walk the halls one more time before I settle in for either the Crown or Good Behavior... I'll decide when I get back.

Comments

[meowmensteen]

I live with a guy and can't count on him to tell me if my slip is showing... they're not as useful as their made out to be.

As for you, I really do hope this BS is temporary.

[lacachet.livejournal.com]

Would you consider going to the ER if you aren't feeling better? Just wondering--

[susandennis]

Oh, i'm nowhere near er territory. I can walk, I can drive, I can swim for an hour... i was just bummed by the whole thing.

[celluloid-jam.livejournal.com]

Susan, this is super worrisome. Have you considered Urgent Care or even Neighborcare Health walk-in clinics? This is doesn't sound like it is something to ignore or try to wait out until your doctor can see you. There are options - please be well!

[fflo.livejournal.com]

I gotta say, Tuesday's a long way off. And maybe New Year's Eve day is not so busy at urgent cares and such as New Year's Day. I mean, if they might help you get some relief and/or provide something of a medical reality check, maybe it'd be worth the relative inconvenience of trying to be seen soon.

Anyhow, here's to the good moments, and I'm rooting for you and your inhaling and exhaling.

[zippybeta.livejournal.com]

Are you positive that its your lungs causing the problem and not a heart issue?

Sue from London

[(Anonymous)]

Your Mother was only correct if you have someone that even notices if your slip is showing. Few would.So many live in relationships and are more alone than you. At least you have peace in your life lucky you.
Happy New Year Susan i wish you better health.

[lifeinroseland.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry it's been so crappy for so long now. Thank God for TV. For now.

[susandennis]

OMG yes on the TV thing. for sure.