Invisible me

[susandennis]

The first time it happened to me was way back in the early 90's. I was in Seattle in one of the first ever computer stores. I wanted to buy a fancy piano keyboard that I could hook up to my computer. I'd done all the research and I had the $300. The keyboards were stacked on an end cap. I had a couple of questions but I was ready to buy. There was a passel of young boy nerds in store shirts roaming around helping people so I waited my turn there by the stack. And waited and waited. A new crop of customers came and went and I waited. They could not see me. I was invisible to them.

I never bought that keyboard. Or shopped at that store again.

Since then, it's happened a lot and more and more the older I get. My brother has seen it happen but never as clearly as yesterday.

We went to the new(ish) Starbucks Reserve store. Fancy dancy and not too busy. We stepped up to the counter and a mid-20's woman engaged my brother in a semi-lengthy conversation about what kind of coffee he wanted. I was standing next to him, our shoulders nearly touching the whole time. She recommended, he asked questions, she answered. Finally they decided on the perfect coffee for him, he paid, she said "Thank you. You can pick up your coffee over there at that counter." She pointed and then added "enjoy!" and walked away. Never once even looking at me, much less checking to see if I wanted anything. It was so blatant and obvious that both of us were just shocked I was invisible.

We also went to the new(ish) Amazon Go store. That's the store where you walk in, get what you want and walk out. No cashier, no nuthin. It was exceedingly cool. You have an app on your phone and you scan the code on it and then just pull whatever you want off the shelves. And you walk out of the store. In about 15 minutes a receipt for your purchases pops up on your phone. It's very cool. The merchandise is a very high end quick stop place. They did have some meals, prepped ready to heat. Lots of sandwiches and snacks and desserts and a few staples. It was nice and pricey but pretty high quality, too, and amazingly fun.

We went to dinner at Poppy. It's been on my list for years. It's always on the list of places the chefs go in Seattle when they want a treat. Chef Anita used to sing its praises a lot. I tried to go once and they were closed for a special event. I tried to go again and they were closed for holiday. Finally, last night, they were open and we went. And I do not have to do that again. They had eggplant fries which were delicious except they drizzled them with honey which wasn't necessary. My brother said his salmon was good. My duck was struggling to get to mediocre. The service started off fine but then she forgot about us. We decided on dessert but lost interest waiting for her to come back and take the order. So we paid and split. It's a tip included restaurant so I did not have to struggle about letting her know via tip amount. I'll just let them know by never going back. That will teach 'em.

Today, after the world cup match, we're going to head north. I have a fun late lunch stop planned and then we'll slowly make our way to Everett to the Aqua Sox ballpark. The game starts at 7 BUT the rush hour traffic from here to there goes from about 2-8pm so we'll just get there way too early and deal. It will be fine. And fun.

Comments

[lifeinroseland.livejournal.com]

Exactly! The first time I experienced invisibility was walking into a restaurant I was familiar with, but this time with my brother, I literally was left with my mouth in the shape of about to form the word “Hi!”

I was not given the time of day. It felt so weird! I guess especially for those of us used to prancing around alone & being in the spotlight all the time.

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

The invisible woman thing is so annoying. Fortunately it has become more rare here - and anyone trying to only talk to my husband if we are together soon learn that he looks to me to answer :) I would us my 'Typical Bloody Man!' icon - except women are just as guilty of doing it.

AmazonGo does sound a fun way to shop. I'd not have been happy with honey dribbled on my aubergine either - and I hope you bought something really good for dessert on your way home.

[gracegiver]

This could be another #metoo thread because I'd guess nearly every woman has experienced it. I know as I get older, I'm more embolden to say "HEY! I'M OVER HERE! I want coffee too!!" Hoping it will embarrass whoever is ignoring me.

[susandennis]

Oh trust me. Had I wanted coffee, she would have been really embarrassed.

[meowmensteen]

What's weird is that even other women do it to women.

[zyzyly.livejournal.com]

That happens to me a lot. Sometimes I like it, when I don't want to interact, but when I do and it happens, I generally just walk out and find someplace else to shop.

[johnnyflamingo4.livejournal.com]

That has never happened to me, but then again, I have never met a stranger. If someone is in close proximity to me they will know who I am, what foods I like, how much I like cats and bonsai trees, and at least one really random piece of trivia. The people that like to ignore usually acknowledge me at this point by asking me to stop talking to them.

[zoefruitcake.livejournal.com]

I get the invisibility thing too, especially in technology shops. I was so royally ignored in one shop when trying to buy a camera I just left and I doubt they even knew I had been there. I've been patronised when purchasing laptops and tablets and I can only assume it will be worse as I get older

[syrsa (from livejournal.com)]

I agree with "they don't see you anymore" when you get a bit older. You become invisible in some weird way. And, the one who has the penis has the power, I've seen that a lot too! Unfortunately.