ugh - I'm not that nice...

[susandennis]

My brother just called and his (grown) son wants to go see Mom. Son lives in Boston (I think). I was not so nice about it and told him I thought it was a bad idea. That Nancy and Polly had enough to deal with without another person in the mix and that he (son) would get there and Mom wouldn't even know him and on and on. I was just a crab about the whole idea.

I hung up and thought 'you bitch why in the hell did you do that?'! So I called him back and asked to erase the first call and please forgive me. He said he would. I told him to check with Nancy and make sure it was ok with her that she could manage to keep Polly free from having to handle Yet Another Thing and that he might make sure he let son know that he could get there and find her dead or alive but not aware.

Outside of that it was his business - his and his son's and none of mine. "It's coming out of your third..." (the $) and that got a chuckle out of him so I felt better. What a time to take a power trip. Note to self: Get A Grip! Geesh.

Comments

[theryn.livejournal.com]

My family was of the round-em-all-up mentality. Some people need to be there. I didn't feel like I needed to be there in the last days/hours because I went the first time there was a scare. Different people need different things. Who knows he could be helpful. My 23 year old brother was around for all of the after stuffand was able to take a lot of the strain off of my mother and aunt.

[susandennis]

Doh! You make an excellent point! He could be a help. Thanks.

[annenahaymus.livejournal.com]

No matter how good a run it's been, no matter how at peace you are, you must know there will still be a fair amount of stress. Cut yourself some slack, this process is never easy.

[shanynrose.livejournal.com]

Because I live with my grandmother (who will be 90 this year,) I have always enjoyed your "mom" stories. Especially the snippets from her emails and comments about how many marbles people have.

I'm glad they're making her comfortable and her decisions are being respected. And that you have all her comments to look back on.

[shanynrose.livejournal.com]

Oh, here's the right comment for this entry (though I won't erase the other one.)

When my "stepmother" (not by benefit of the clergy, but in every other way) became ill, we did not see her again after the "terminal" diagnosis. My dad said it was because she wanted us to remember the way she was in better times. Later on we found out from other family members that it was NOT her decision - I don't know what was up with my dad or why we listened.

I can't go back in time, but would have loved seeing my sm even once more, no matter awake or out of it from the drugs. Good call - especially since your nephew is grown. I think just trying is probably important to him.

The other big C - CLOSURE.

[taniwhanui.livejournal.com]

Just a quick note to let you know that I'm thinking of you at this difficult time.

*hugs*

Taniwha

[roadskoller.livejournal.com]

You're going to go all over the board as far as emotions go. Go with them and don't worry. You need to be in the moment.

[joyoflj.livejournal.com]

Give yourself some slack, this is quite the ordeal to go through. You are an excellent daughter and there is no wrong way, you need to do what you feel you should or should not do.

There is nothing I can say that has not been said but know that many of us are thinking of you.

Funny how although I never met your Mom, through your well crafted stories I feel I know her.

Take care, friend.