Birthday Answers

[susandennis]

(For my birthday, I asked for Ask Me Anything Questions. I got so many wonderful ones. I'm answering them in entries from here until I get to the end. If you think of something you want to ask, just leave a comment or a note. Deadline is totally not a thing.)

laciann


* Which of his [my ex husband’s] qualities made you decide you were better off on your own?

We wanted entirely different things. We both wanted a wife, for instance. Someone to keep up the house, cook the meals, get the dry cleaning, etc. We were not on the same page. We were not even in the same book.

We lived in Charlotte, NC where it snowed very rarely. I love love love snow. He grew up in upstate NY and hated snow. One Saturday morning I slept late and when I opened my eyes I saw beautiful snow out the window. Maybe 3 or 4 inches. A blanket. When I got up, I discovered that he had MUTILATED the front yard beauty by shoveling the sidewalk. We had nowhere we needed to go. We didn’t even have snow tires to go if we wanted. And he had to shovel the damn walk and ruin the view. I was so pissed. He was so confused. "But I shoveled it for you. You said you like to walk in the snow and I wanted you to be able to get to it." Get to it??? Honestly, I still don’t get it now more than 30 years later.

He would not even consider my looking for a job that would require us to move from Charlotte. Out of the question. Not going to happen. No way. And, then, one day I found out he had applied for a job at the Sacramento Bee! WTF???? "It’s a great paper, it would be a great opportunity and you wanted to move, so what’s the problem?"

We were doomed 8 ways to Sunday.

Comments

[mairi-dubh.livejournal.com]

"We both wanted a wife, for instance. Someone to keep up the house, cook the meals, get the dry cleaning, etc."

Judy Brady Syfers 's essays.
She's right, too. Who wouldn't want a wife?

I've found trying to communicate with most men to be SO trying, being single is much better.
And, I'm convinced, it's healthier, at least for women like me.

[adafrog.livejournal.com]

Oh wow. He just didn't get it, did he?

[rhodielady-47.livejournal.com]

Now that you mention it, I think most people would like to have a "wife" simply to take care of the house, the kids and pets, and all the pesky errands!
-----------------
Thank Heaven for being able to get divorces in this country.
I cannot imagine how miserable unhappily-married people used to be back before divorce became easier to get. I've read that people used to simply pack up and leave in the middle of the night, leaving the remaining partner with the kids and the debts.
:^)

[albert71292.livejournal.com]

When I was married, I did most of the household chores. Wouldn't have minded if the ex had found a job to help with bills she was running up, but she never looked for work. Eventually, I guess when she tapped me out financially, she started seeing someone else. That was when the split occurred.

[susandennis]

That sounds like a mess. Sorry.

[albert71292.livejournal.com]

I've avoided another mess since then.

[lenine2.livejournal.com]

The snow story! Growing up in a snowy area he had a compulsion to clear the walk. He ruined the rare beauty of a NC snow. He decided to try to make you think he did it out of his love for you, making you the bad guy. To blame you for his behavior. Ah, men.

My husband turned into a wife when we moved away from Illinois. It's wonderful. I still do half the cooking but that's because I want to.