But I don't wanna

[susandennis]

My weight is creeping up again. I'm fat. 5'4" carrying 230 lbs. When I had to quit swimming, I creeped up to 250 in July of last year. Also just at that time, I found that I was not enjoying my evening meal - it was just too much eating before bed so I quit. I started eating my bigger meal at lunch. And that's how I lost those 20 pounds. Now they are creeping back on again. And there are no changes to fix it that I want to make.

I could eat fewer calories. Nope. Not going to do that. I like what I eat and I eat what I like and I'm not going to spend my remaining time on earth getting up close and personal with kale. I could be more active - move more - do stuff. Again, to me quality time is time spent on the couch with my crochet hook. I walk (slowly) on the treadmill every morning for 25 minutes even though that goes against my quality of living mantra, I do it anyway. For a while I was dedicated to leaving the house for one thing or another once a day. But, I don't even do that any more. I could do more. But, I don't wanna.

At some point, my dissatisfaction with being even fatter will meet my I don't wanna and the resulting shoot out will cause change.

Maybe I'll go back to getting out once a day or at least trying to. Maybe today I'll pop up to Uwjimaya and pick up some lunch and maybe see what Daiso has that I don't need. Maybe.

There is a baseball game at 1 so my ass will be on the couch for that.

I'm really just following Biggie's lead.



Old lady and her cat on the couch. I'll take cliche for $200, Alex. Ooops. er... guesthostdujour...

Shower time.

Comments

[bill-schubert.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm in a similar rut. Zoe has saved me by making me walk once a day so I'm stable and my heart is OK but I'm leveled off about 30 pounds above where I'd be happiest. And I do love my cinnamon rolls. I enjoy the cycling but it is hard to get out and turn over the first pedal. After that it is good and I never regret it. That is the easiest way, building up my leg muscles. They burn the most calories.

Everything I want to do in the kitchen seems carb related.

[susandennis]

I feel like being 100 pounds away from what would be good makes it harder, I think, to really give a shit. I'm kind of struggling now with why I care. Or if I really do.

[bill-schubert.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I get it.

[cerezamarrero.livejournal.com]

Biggie is wise. ♥ Getting outdoors isn't a bad idea. A little Vitamin D and some mild exercise can go a long way. Enjoy the rest of your Sunday! ♥

[nytekat.livejournal.com]

You don't know me and will likely not matter. But I read about your bitching about your weight. I understand. More than I'd like too. I had gastric-bypas.

[susandennis]

:)

[nytekat.livejournal.com]

I had gastric-bypass

[adafrog.livejournal.com]

I'm not going to spend my remaining time on earth getting up close and personal with kale.
Amen

[richaarde.livejournal.com]

Biggie has the right idea.

[theonlyrachel.livejournal.com]

LOL up close and personal with kale! I can’t stand that stuff either. When I hear some health nut or vegan talk about the delicious kale-beet-quinoa salad recipe she is eating, I think of only sadness.

[mrdreamjeans.livejournal.com]

What is the current status of the pools ... or has your love affair with swimming subsided?

[susandennis]

I'd love to swim again but there are only two pools with chemicals that my lungs can tolerate. One is 45 minutes away and the other is a very hard 30 minutes. Next Summer, the bridge will be repaired, hopefully, and the 45 minutes will turn into 10. I plan to start up again then.

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

We are much the same weight and height. I was a bit over 260lb when I changed eating style in a similar way to you and gently came down to 230lb or so without much more effort. I realised that, for me, once I started eating I tended to fell hungry again a short time time after — but if I didn't start eating until lunch time I was less hungry. And a smallish lunch seems to last me, with a biscuit or slice of cake about 3.pm, until we eat our main meal about 6.30pm. So the other way around to you but a similar understanding of myself.

And I know it would be even better to be lighter — but like you I am not going to take up serious exercise and a diet of kale* — life is too short, now, to not enjoy it :)

*I refuse to accept that this is even fit for human consumption. When I was a child it was what you gave to cattle if all the good feed ran out before there was enough grass — and it made the milk taste horrible.

[idahoswede.livejournal.com]

Ah, the dreaded weight thing! I do know that by the end of the summer, I will be back down under 100kg, and hopefully will do like I did last year, which was keep it down through the rest of the year, but the long COLD spring we have had got me back bored eating again and when that starts ....

Anyway, I do feel for you.

[soon_lee]

Sympathies. It's been a challenging year all round.