Retirement

[susandennis]

days_unfolding asked me about retirement - specifically "How did you learn to adapt to retirement? I'd think that it would be a shock."

She nailed the shock part for me. It was a gradual shock.

I had been working for a company that had contracts with places like Microsoft. They would embed me with a Microsoft team and I'd do the slog work while the full time Microsofters would go to management meetings and make big decisions. I worked on websites. Coding and production. It was great. I worked mostly from this very room, with mostly fun people, had good benefits, and made good money. Then Microsoft made some changes (the whole contractor kerfuffle) and shut down a lot of the work they had farmed out. My company was small and the loss was big for them. All the other employees were young with families. It made sense, if they had to lay off somebody, that that somebody be me. And so they did. Initially inertia sent my job hunting but my heart wasn't in it. And I gave up and decided to retire.

All my life I'd enjoyed work. That load of crap about your job not loving you back is a load of crap. My jobs all loved me and I loved them. Plus it was who I was. I had never thought about retiring. I thought I'd work until I dropped dead. So I had no plans. Nothing I was burning to do. No reason to be retired.

The first couple/three years were not that much fun. I floundered. It was a shock. I was embarrassed to say that I was retired (no idea why or where that came from). I kind of bounced around like a pin ball. Until one day, I didn't.

I don't know what flipped the switch but one day I woke up and I was fine being retired. Weird. As I told someone the other day, I learned to Embrace The Lazy. I take my time doing whatever I want whenever I want it.

I still do dream about work. And I still will see an ad or a call to fill a job that sounds fascinating and think I could do that and I'd be good at it. And then I remember I'd have to get dressed and smile and be around people... fuck no. I'm retired.

Comments

[peaceflower]

Glad you have been able to settle down now. I remember my uncle struggled with retirement and even had to work a part time job after to keep sane. Then he died from lung cancer though. Wish he would have just took it easy. Sounds like you had work you enjoyed. I have a lot of health issues so been out of work a lot and life has been mostly trying to survive for me and get by. Wish it was different since I know I could do some good on some job but my illness always seems to make a mess of things.

[bill_schubert]

"And then I remember I'd have to get dressed and smile and be around people... fuck no."

Oh, yeah. Sing it!

[sparky955]

Just celebrated my 2nd anniversary of being retired. Best thing for me about retirement: finally living authentically without forcing myself to fit into the box my manager or director wanted me in.

[cdayzee]

Your situation reminds me a little of what happened to my mom. She worked every day of her life & always performed well for her employers. She was always an asset to whatever company she worked for. Yet she did struggle - a lot of times probably because she didn't possess a college degree. Then one day she was laid off, essentially a forced retirement. It wasn't something she wanted. She searched & searched for a job but most people didn't give her the time of day mainly due to her age. Plus she lives in a small town far from larger cities, so not a lot was available. At some point, I guess she gave up & unwillingly accepted her lot. Now that I look back, she's been declining since. Her livelihood was taken from her. I do write about her struggles in my journal. It's sad, frustrating, challenging & stressful for me because I don't live terribly near her & I'm an only child.

Anyway, I'm glad you finally came to accept your retirement & are still thriving :) Everyone processes changes uniquely & in their own time.

[susandennis]

I'm sorry to hear about your Mom. I totally get it. It's so different for everyone.

[gwendraith]

I couldn't wait to be retired and I was lucky to be retired quite early. I never regretted it and to be honest I don't know how I found the time to fit a job in.

[days_unfolding]

Yeah, I have a job that I love and am about 10 years out from retirement, so I've been wondering what it would be like.

[susandennis]

You are so smart to think about it now. I honestly think, if you keep in the back of your mind as you look ahead, you'll have a much easier transition than I did.

[kaishin108]

I get those fleeting thoughts sometimes, that I should go back to work but yes the details of it all, no thanks! :D

[vysila]

I can see when the retirement is forced or unexpected that it would be a LOT harder to adjustment to retirement. I had planned for it and wanted to retire for various reasons, so for me it was an easy adjustment. But if I'd wanted to keep on working at a job I liked, it probably would've been a completely different story.

[mrdreamjeans]

"I was embarrassed to say that I was retired (no idea why or where that came from). I kind of bounced around like a pin ball."

You identified a feeling I hadn't put feelings to with the above statement. I still feel odd about being retired. I'll be 68 in a couple of weeks. Why? Probably because in my heart of hearts, I still feel I have goals/dreams to accomplish in the theater. I don't think I'll ever walk away from wanting to sing.

[johncomic]

I loved retirement right from day one, but I always knew in my bones that I would. I was built for it.

[fauxklore]

I had planned my retirement carefully and had in mind a number of things to do with my time. Some of those have happened while others have not, largely due to the pandemic preventing a lot of travel.