My cousin, Bill

[susandennis]

My parents each had one sibling. My Mom's brother was killed in World War II - no kids. But my Dad's sister had one child - a son. So I got a cousin, Bill. Six years older than me. The big brother. But way cooler. As kids he let me be a cowboy just like him - none of that cowgirl shit. When I was a teen ager, he shared my angst. For years, as a young adult, he was my journal reader. I wrote him long letters often daily. He rarely wrote back (which was fine) and we rarely talked about it but I knew he was there, reading and listening and it meant a lot to me. When my sister got married in Colorado, I was living in Minnesota. I called Bill and said, wanna take a road trip? I was astonished when he said yes. We had a great time. We stopped at every tourist everything - Mt. Rushmore but also the Corn Palace and Wall Drugs.

Over the years since, we talked on the phone every decade or so. He was an electrician working on commercial building sites in Oklahoma City. He never married or even dated.

I got a call this morning from his lawyer. He died at 2 am today. Stomach cancer. Steve, the lawyer, was pretty broken up. "He was such a nice guy. So smart and so thoughtful. And so private." Steve's been looking after my cousin's affairs now for about a dozen years.

Steve said Bill learned about the cancer a few years ago. He chose no treatment. But he did make sure Steve had everything covered. "I asked him, nearly every time I talked to him, particularly at the end, to please let me call you. He said no thank you. You can call her when I'm gone."

Man, do I ever get that. All of it. And it was so very kind of him. I think now, what if Steve had called and to tell me Bill was very near death. What the heck would I have done then??? I have no idea.

He lived in a tiny house that his father built in the 1950s. They tore down their two room house and built the new one on the same spot. I remember the old one but most of my memories are from the 'new' one. Bill never lived anywhere else. He bought a new pick up truck every 10 years or so. Steve says his current one is only four years old. I am sorry he didn't get the full 10 years of it.

He left everything to me and to his friend, Sam (2/3rds to me and 1/3 to sam). He left $500 to his friend, Gaston, with his ashes "he'll know what to do". But, most importantly to me, he left us Steve, the lawyer who will handle all the details and who very clearly cares.

I hope he didn't die with regrets and he was peaceful. I've spent a lot of time today thinking about him and the past. It's not been unpleasant. But, as Steve said, "I'm sad."

Comments

[bill_schubert]

When Bill spent a teenage summer in Winston-Salem with us. Several stories but the best one was he actually dated a girl (Kay) whose sister (Lisa, I think) was my age. I don't remember the ages of all this but I do remember that he had a job (with Hanes, my father's company) and HAD MONEY!! We double dated. I was way too young to have the foggiest what was going on but we went to the drive in driving father's yellow Buick convertible. For some reason I did not understand he kept giving the two of us kids to go get food and soda, etc.

We made a lot of trips to the food place leaving Bill and Kay alone.

Don't remember the movie but I probably did get sick with junk food and drink.

He never made me feel like a kid. Never made me feel less. I think I never really appreciated that as much as I should have.

[susandennis]

Kay Morris. I'm pretty sure it was the summer of 1963. What a fun memory.

[bill_schubert]

And, more importantly, Lisa Morris. Typically WAY above me on the food chain but we had that night. It was funny.

[susandennis]

wonder what happened to both of them. if still alive, they'd be way old by now! (she says with a keen sense of the obvious)

[vegetablearian]

I'm sorry for your loss. Those are some really sweet memories!

[halfmoon_mollie1]

I'm sad for you.

[meowmensteen]

That's a great picture of you two. I'm sorry for you loss. It sounds like his lawyer is a good guy.

[wpadmirer]

I'm sorry for the loss of your cousin, but it sounds like he did have a good person helping him in Steve, and that he had people who cared - like you.

That memory of the trip you made together sounds fabulous. I'm really glad you have that.

[fbhjr]

My condolences.

[kalena66]

My condolences. That road trip sounds pretty awesome.

[nverland]

I am so sorry

[fauxklore]

I'm sorry for your loss and hope your memories can bring you some comfort.

[adafrog]

I'm sorry. Sounds like he had some good people around him, at least.

[richaarde]

Awww... My deepest condolences. <3

[dadi]

Hugs...
This certainly is a period of endings. Memories.

[arlie]

Condolences from afar. Another person in my extended circle of acquaintances did much the same - didn't tell anyone he was dying of cancer, but arranged things so people would be told after he was gone. In his case, I think part of it was that he didn't want to deal with well meaning but clueless sympathy.

[days_unfolding]

I'm sorry for your loss.

[timbearuk]

Sorry for your loss but it does sound like you have some good memories

[siglinde999]

I’m sorry. Even though it was the way he wanted and you haven’t talked much in years, it must have been a difficult way to go. I hope he didn’t suffer too much pain. Thank you for sharing your memories of him.

[legalmoose]

He sounds like a good cousin. I'm glad he was able to arrange things as he wanted them, and that he left you a good lawyer to handle it all.

[maju]

I'm sorry for your loss.

[carriea31]

I'm sorry about the sadness... he sounds like a great person.

[greghousesgf]

I'm so sorry. hugs

[opakele]

What a great story.

It sounds like you were two peas from the same pod!

I am sad for your loss.

[zoefruitcake]

He sounds super cool and like he had his shit together. He wanted to die on his terms and he got to do that, which I respect. RIP your cousin Bill

[susandennis]

yes, exactly. he lived as he wanted and he died on his own terms. i'm glad for both.

[cdayzee]

I'm sorry to hear about your cousin's passing :(

It's beneficial that had his legal affairs in order <3

[taz_39]

I had to backtrack a bit to get to this post.
I'm so sorry for your loss, but also, it sounds like you have some very wonderful memories of him. And that he was very thoughtful in preparing for this day. Reminds me that I have got to buckle down and take care of that stuff too. Since my dad died unexpectedly I've made a password/existing accounts document, but there really needs to be something legal.

It's great that you've got Steve even if he's annoyingly repetitive. Maybe he's had to deal with so many grieving people who don't hear what he's said the first time, or elderly folks who can't hold on to the information.