Probably No Friday Off

One of my jobs here is to do the final formatting on documents that go from us to customers.

I am always amazed at how reasonable adults can look at a document and not see that 42 different fonts in one 10 page document looks weird. And while I have defined and published a set of 25 corporate colors - all matching and pretty and varied... not one of them is even close to the trailer trash pink that our systems engineers find so attractive.

It's not like they are lazy. They are not. Using 1 font would be lazy. Using 42 shows initiative and creativity and I sure with they would stop.

Anyway, everyone gets particularly focused when we have a Request for Proposal (RFP). Customers send them out, usually with specific instructions and always with a firm deadline. I am the last stop on the train trip. Once everyone finishes with it, they send it to me for cleaning up. Usually these suckers are 10-20 pages long and generally they have been worked on by a handful of people or more. And, generally, I have like zero time to fix them.

We have one this week. Hard copy due in New York on Thursday. This means my deadline is 4 p.m. Wednesday. The rep said he would get it to me last Friday. Yesterday he said his mother had a heart attack over the weekend - dog ate my homework?????? This morning he said that he was on the road today and he was going to get an extension. He called back so proud - he got the deadline extended for us.

So now we don't have to have it in New York until Monday. Which means it has to go out of here by 4 on Friday. (Yes, it could go out Sunday, but while these guys don't mind fucking with my day off - they save their weekends for heart attacks or whatever.) Which means I will probably see it by noon on Friday.

Sadly, we do about one of these a month. The questions are almost always the same. The answers are the same. It should take someone with half a brain cell about an hour to complete the document. Generally the RFP's are sent out with at least 2 weeks before they are due and often it's 4 weeks.

So I will be donating my Friday off to those who's shit is not together. I feel special.

Probably No Friday Off

One of my jobs here is to do the final formatting on documents that go from us to customers.

I am always amazed at how reasonable adults can look at a document and not see that 42 different fonts in one 10 page document looks weird. And while I have defined and published a set of 25 corporate colors - all matching and pretty and varied... not one of them is even close to the trailer trash pink that our systems engineers find so attractive.

It's not like they are lazy. They are not. Using 1 font would be lazy. Using 42 shows initiative and creativity and I sure with they would stop.

Anyway, everyone gets particularly focused when we have a Request for Proposal (RFP). Customers send them out, usually with specific instructions and always with a firm deadline. I am the last stop on the train trip. Once everyone finishes with it, they send it to me for cleaning up. Usually these suckers are 10-20 pages long and generally they have been worked on by a handful of people or more. And, generally, I have like zero time to fix them.

We have one this week. Hard copy due in New York on Thursday. This means my deadline is 4 p.m. Wednesday. The rep said he would get it to me last Friday. Yesterday he said his mother had a heart attack over the weekend - dog ate my homework?????? This morning he said that he was on the road today and he was going to get an extension. He called back so proud - he got the deadline extended for us.

So now we don't have to have it in New York until Monday. Which means it has to go out of here by 4 on Friday. (Yes, it could go out Sunday, but while these guys don't mind fucking with my day off - they save their weekends for heart attacks or whatever.) Which means I will probably see it by noon on Friday.

Sadly, we do about one of these a month. The questions are almost always the same. The answers are the same. It should take someone with half a brain cell about an hour to complete the document. Generally the RFP's are sent out with at least 2 weeks before they are due and often it's 4 weeks.

So I will be donating my Friday off to those who's shit is not together. I feel special.

Wild and Wierd

So today's the day that Chad was supposed to go to Mom's and see if her TiVo problems could be solved by the new external modem we bought for her. While I was waiting to hear, our office network got hit by the virus...

Two people actually contributed - one of the accountants and the VP of sales. They didn't understand the email that said to download the patch NOW before your computer infects EVERYONE.... But, apparently, they weren't the only two people in the world...

My personal email is hosed completely so I didn't hear anything from Mom. So I PCAnywhere'd over to her machine to make sure she was still up and yes she was and YES the new modem fixed TiVo!!!! Whew!

But, sadly, she reports that the place where Chad works got sold this week and he is out of a job. She said he was so sad and bummed. "I wanted to give him a hug but I knew if I did he'd burst into tears." She also said that she thought helping her today was just what he needed.

Remember I found Chad by calling around to TV places and asking if they knew anyone who had ever heard of TiVo. One guy sent me to another TV place and told me to ask for Chad. On our phone chat alone, Chad volunteered to go help Mom. I made it clear that I expected to pay but we didn't discuss money.

Mom says that today after he was done she asked him how much and he told her no charge that he enjoyed meeting her and helping her. She gave him $50 cash. What a guy. I sure hope we don't lose him and he lands on his feet. Mom's note says that she encouraged him to contact me for advice. I'd be happy to help if I can. I hope he contacts me.

I hope the internet gets better and soon.

Wild and Wierd

So today's the day that Chad was supposed to go to Mom's and see if her TiVo problems could be solved by the new external modem we bought for her. While I was waiting to hear, our office network got hit by the virus...

Two people actually contributed - one of the accountants and the VP of sales. They didn't understand the email that said to download the patch NOW before your computer infects EVERYONE.... But, apparently, they weren't the only two people in the world...

My personal email is hosed completely so I didn't hear anything from Mom. So I PCAnywhere'd over to her machine to make sure she was still up and yes she was and YES the new modem fixed TiVo!!!! Whew!

But, sadly, she reports that the place where Chad works got sold this week and he is out of a job. She said he was so sad and bummed. "I wanted to give him a hug but I knew if I did he'd burst into tears." She also said that she thought helping her today was just what he needed.

Remember I found Chad by calling around to TV places and asking if they knew anyone who had ever heard of TiVo. One guy sent me to another TV place and told me to ask for Chad. On our phone chat alone, Chad volunteered to go help Mom. I made it clear that I expected to pay but we didn't discuss money.

Mom says that today after he was done she asked him how much and he told her no charge that he enjoyed meeting her and helping her. She gave him $50 cash. What a guy. I sure hope we don't lose him and he lands on his feet. Mom's note says that she encouraged him to contact me for advice. I'd be happy to help if I can. I hope he contacts me.

I hope the internet gets better and soon.

And...

My baby brother turns 50 years old today. There were years I tried hard to see that he never got to his 5th birthday. I tried selling him door to door. I tried putting him up for adoption (the Mitchells at the end of the block already had 2 adopted kids, I thought a 3rd was a natural plugin). Once at the grocery store with Mom, I snuck him behind those flappy doors at the back of the store and left him there. I tried - really. But, he had powerful allies.

I had two pieces of bread on the counter that weren't getting any younger so I made myself a sandwich and brought it in for lunch. While the mold on blue cheese is attractive, on bread it's just not that appealing.

I bought White Cheddar Cheetos last week. They are the puffy kind - not the crunchy kind but they are excellent and they do not make your fingers orange - this is a good thing in any food.

I should get to work.

And...

My baby brother turns 50 years old today. There were years I tried hard to see that he never got to his 5th birthday. I tried selling him door to door. I tried putting him up for adoption (the Mitchells at the end of the block already had 2 adopted kids, I thought a 3rd was a natural plugin). Once at the grocery store with Mom, I snuck him behind those flappy doors at the back of the store and left him there. I tried - really. But, he had powerful allies.

I had two pieces of bread on the counter that weren't getting any younger so I made myself a sandwich and brought it in for lunch. While the mold on blue cheese is attractive, on bread it's just not that appealing.

I bought White Cheddar Cheetos last week. They are the puffy kind - not the crunchy kind but they are excellent and they do not make your fingers orange - this is a good thing in any food.

I should get to work.

What a difference a decade makes

When I moved into this condo in February 1992, the place was about 1/3 sold and occupied. Two women had taken a 100 year old railroad warehouse and turned it into condos in a part of town that, at that time, was not known as a residential area. (It still isn't but now it is a very cool place to live.)

One of the other people who lived here was a guy who was fun and friendly. Over a fair amount of wine one night we decided we needed a condo directory. So for a few weeks we went door to door and gather name, rank and serial number. Then I found a little DOS program that created booklets. I typed everything into the software and printed out a copy. We bought colorful paper and trooped on down to my office (IBM) where we spent one Saturday copying, collating and stapling. We were so proud and everyone was delighted.

We repeated the process for a couple of years and then my friend moved to Atlanta and Ann from down the hall agreed to help and the homeowners association agreed to pay for production and our booklets got prettier.

It's that time again but now we have a management company who keeps all the poop in a spreadsheet. I have Office 2003. Getting the thing ready for the printer takes about an hour. And it sure as hell beats surving on the board of directors!

What a difference a decade makes

When I moved into this condo in February 1992, the place was about 1/3 sold and occupied. Two women had taken a 100 year old railroad warehouse and turned it into condos in a part of town that, at that time, was not known as a residential area. (It still isn't but now it is a very cool place to live.)

One of the other people who lived here was a guy who was fun and friendly. Over a fair amount of wine one night we decided we needed a condo directory. So for a few weeks we went door to door and gather name, rank and serial number. Then I found a little DOS program that created booklets. I typed everything into the software and printed out a copy. We bought colorful paper and trooped on down to my office (IBM) where we spent one Saturday copying, collating and stapling. We were so proud and everyone was delighted.

We repeated the process for a couple of years and then my friend moved to Atlanta and Ann from down the hall agreed to help and the homeowners association agreed to pay for production and our booklets got prettier.

It's that time again but now we have a management company who keeps all the poop in a spreadsheet. I have Office 2003. Getting the thing ready for the printer takes about an hour. And it sure as hell beats surving on the board of directors!